I'm So Bored

[Sandstone]

I'm bored with having PTSD. I'm bored with the symptoms. Last night I woke with from a nightmare, and found myself thinking, at the same time as over breathing and sweating, "Oh, not another murderous lunatic in a cave" I'm bored with running from them in my sleep. I'm bored with startling every time someone walks past the house, or the TV changes volume or brightness.

I'm bored with being stuck in the house, and with every week telling myself that this week I'll go out. With the endless cycling of adding something in only to find something else has dropped off.

I'm bored with recognising that the emotions I feel aren;t related to now, and with the bouts of despair and self loathing

Just a whinge. Anyone else?

 

[Louise1988]

All of the above. Empathy and Solidarity @stenni. I am so bored. Tired and bored of it all.

 

[Friday]

ROFLMAO... I was just talking elsewhere about how certain levels of anger are a good sign I'm either starting to get better, or am about to.

Boredom is another tell of the same thing!!! :D

When I'm depressed, or there's a war going on inside my head? I can stare at a wall for hours and days. The durn wall doesn't start getting boring until I'm starting to get better. Ditto, when my nightmares start to get boring? That's when I finally start to get more sleep (oh, fine, everyone's dead. We've got that), as I roll my eyes at myself and turn over to either stubborn streak, finish the nightmare... Or simply don't care, and turn over to get some more sleep.

Boredom means I'm starting to catch a grip, instead of being grabbed up by whatever it is that's had ahold of me.

 

[Sandstone]

Boredom means I'm starting to catch a grip,

I hope so - I'm a bit worried it meansI'm deciding to walk away from it all and pretend there is nothing wrong with me

 

[Deleted member 29311]

Yeah I feel you in a way.. although actually I'm not bored of the symptoms, I'm just really tired of it.

 

[desiderata310]

Bored? No, I think angry.
I'm pretty sure I'm angry at my ptsd. I start to relax and really have a good time and hit a trigger? Gotta leave before I make a fool of me.
Never go out and the few times I have because of work, it's torture. Can't enjoy it.
Even things like running! I can't do outside right now. The thought is paralyzing and I LOVE AND MISS running.

Bored? Maybe in the sense that I'm tired of being alone.

 

[Deleted member 29311]

omg, @desiderata310 yes to everything there, 100% relatable..

 

[sweetcandy]

I feel what you're saying. Everything will be going good and then another trigger. Sometimes I wish I didn't have it. I'm bored, frustrated and over having it.

 

[Cool Cat]

Yeah I really felt this last week.

All my classmates were walking to the beach for ice cream after class and I'm sitting at a bus stop waiting to commute 1 hour on a bus and tram and on foot to see my shrink and pay money I could really use on something else. They ask me to join them and I tell them I can't, but not why. I can't tell them why because they don't know. Because I'm afraid of how they'd take it.

I am very grateful of my therapeutic alliance etc. I know so many people are on waiting lists for therapists.

But I totally can relate to just being so bored of the anxiety, self harm urges, socialising problems, memories, scars.

I wish I could just press a button and just lift it all off my shoulders.