Is Anyone Out There An "empath"?

[Hope4Now]

I wonder if other's whose body became someone else's struggle with boundaries for this reason as well.

Yep.
@shimmerz, I have major issues with body awareness as well. I don't really "live" in my body, but am working on it. Hard stuff. When I "ground" I end up with body memories (kind of like flashbacks without much else attached) so even grounding is kind of an intricate dance I have to do lest I become overwhelmed. I'm working on the bubble thing too. Keep trying different visualizations. (shields, batcapes, bubble, etc.) For me, though, I need to figure out internal boundaries among parts as well as external boundaries with others' energies. Hard to know what is my own stuff and what is others' stuff. What's me and not me. My energies are all over the place, though recently I've had a few times when I've become aware of taking on others' stuff before it's too late and have been able to kind of psychically separate myself from it...be compassionate without actually taking it on into myself.

Looking after someone else was just expected of me and I was good at it from a young age.

I do wonder sometimes about the nature/nurture thing. Are we born kind of pre-disposed to be empaths or do we develop such skills because of the situations in which we were raised? I suppose it doesn't matter in the long run, really, as the result is the same. @MomOfTwo, do you avoid social situations because of this? Is that why they've been few and far between? Does it help? Do you have the same issues with your family (I'm thinking you have kids because of your screen name, but I may be wrong)?

 

[Aristides]

Very interesting thread. Three things:

(1) Empathy is highly linked to the theory of mind - recognizing people asound us as equal and full human beings. Research is increasingly showing that it is very much tied to moral sense. You may very well be an exceptionally nice person. Kudos!
(2) Reaching out to people around us can be overblown empathy, but it can also be due to seeking approval by catering to others' needs, or a feeling of low self-worth.
(3) Intelligent people can also miss out on being in touch with their own feeling since they may bury emotions below a sort of mental "cover story." It is no surprise that empathy plus intelligence allows you to be greatly aware of others, yet flub things when it comes to yourself.

Don't ever be ashamed of (1). Being highly empathetic is also a sign of being a good learner in general.
As for (2), learning to appreciate yourself is something to work on with the therapist.
I think (3) has been a problem for me. Trying to get more in touch with what I feel, instead of burying "improper" emotions in reaction to life events, seems to help work things out.

 

[MomOfTwo]

@MomOfTwo, do you avoid social situations because of this? Is that why they've been few and far between? Does it help? Do you have the same issues with your family (I'm thinking you have kids because of your screen name, but I may be wrong)?

I have two children....twins. :) I do need to be in the right frame of mind for social situations. I usually have more of an issue when it is social situations within my own family. I do practice some of the grounding techniques my therapist gave me. I used to be pretty social and I do quite well in social situations and nobody probably would notice anything is amiss. I think having young children as well has kept me away from a lot of social situations. I do not have many people I trust with my children.

 

[Sally sue]

Very interesting :)

@Hope4Now i think you discribe the experience of an empath very well, and I'm totally there!

My T says I have an overdeveloped empathic ability, and that this happens when your young and you must learn to read others well enough to try and prepare for danger.

For me, I struggle with stopping it, I walk into a room and it's like a wave of others emotions, feeling, etc crash over me, no filter. It happened when I went to my T once and I couldn't stop crying and then emailed her saying how sorry I was and what a bad person I was. She responded that it wasn't me, it was her, and that I had been picking up on her emotions since she wasn't feeling well.

It's tough stuff, I struggle to know how I'm feeling most of the time sigh

 

[shimmerz]

your young and you must learn to read others well enough to try and prepare for danger.

This is so true for me, mainly because it didn't matter what I felt. The only thing that mattered was how they felt and how my survival was based on how they felt. I didn't have the option to think about my feelings. It was just me, ashamed of even existing, let alone feeling.

I think the fact that reading these idiots emotions was key to my survival made it more a reptilian response as opposed to higher brain action. This makes it even more difficult to challenge imho

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, and it sure does complicate life! I'm a good listener and folks take advantage of that sometimes. They blather on and on. I'll just sit there and quietly take it all in, not realizing what it is doing to me until later on, once I am no longer with the person.

Don't get me wrong, I love to listen to peoples' adventures and experiences and exciting things like that, but after awhile, it gets to be the same old stories, because folks only have so many experiences that they can share, then it just gets boring....