Is committing myself selfish?

[Deleted member 42783]

If you end up taking your wife to the hospital, they should have social workers there to help find a place for her

 

[Raj]

I think this way because when I was assaulted she would not let me seek help. When she has medical issues I fight for her. Currently she say says if I'm suicidal in five weeks she will let me go and take care of my service dog.

Finding my balance is really hard here.

Raj

 

[desiderata310]

So what if you could stay out and just get assistance from someone to give your respite care while your wife recuperates?
No, I have no idea how it works but if you have a therapist and she has doctors I would petition them all for nursing assistance.
It's ONLY a thought. If you feel you're really in danger, I say chuck the whole thing and go to the ER.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

um, the wait five weeks arrangement is not acceptable if you are suicidal now. This is a decision made for your benefit. There is no we in it. When you are stable it will benefit you both. Your wife will be worse off with you dead.
Do this for You NOW!

 

[Deleted member 42783]

@Raj
Wait a minute. Is your service dog the issue

 

[Raj]

The service dog part issue. MY son daughter and mother in law helped me. I just got out of hospital. They say I have broken heart syndrome and need walker for a leg problem and back weakness from oldest son assaulting me. Psych unit convinced me to take better care of self.

Raj

 

[Raj]

May put wife hospital, if she gets to mean again.

Raj

 

[New]

May put wife hospital, if she gets to mean again.

Raj

Definitely go inpatient if you need it. I plan to go soon and have heard great things from a few people on here about their experience.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Raj I don't necessarily see the therapist having you come back as wrong as some here might, it depends on the therapist-client relationship, if she/he know you well they might be able to gauge how safe you really are, hospitals for the most part are meant to keep you safe, not fix you. If your about to do something and are very suicidal she/he probably would have you go to a hospital, sometimes more can be done outside of the hospital to address the core issues. PHP is a middle option between therapist and hospital. Something to consider. It will give you some structure, and a path to re-organize your thoughts. I have such a relationship with my therapist, it was not long ago I was actually suicidal and my pdoc was considering an emergency petition, my therapist stepped in and I went to PHP instead. My advice is be open to options, and ask questions about how you can cope with all this.

 

[Raj]

I just can't believe I can be so overwhelmed and noons would get home health going for me.

Raj

 

[shimmerz]

Just because we give things to people, like compassion, health care support etc, doesn't mean we are going to get it in return from said people. If you are looking for support, and from what I have heard of your situation, I don't think you are EVER going to get it from your wife.

If you accept that as truth (if it is truth) and stop trying to make her be the person that you WANT her to be, then what? Then will Raj take care of Raj? What will it take for you to see yourself first? I think that is what it is going to come down to Raj.