Is It Normal For Life To Feel Overwhelming?

[Antidote]

I'm really sorry if this is in the wrong spot, feel free to move it. I figured since I'm starting to realize this feeling is predominately when my anxiety levels are high over a long period of time.

I thought after being a child of a broken home, sexual abuse, living in a hotel and shelter for 2 years, I'd be set to be out on my own in the real world. It'd be a learning experience and I would make mistakes but nothing could possibly be as bad as the past 5 or so years especially. Now I'm finding even the little things like the house chores piling up and things always breaking (be it needing repairs or my child) really send me for a loop. I feel like I'm not able to cope with the surprises that life throws my way.

Just in the past two weeks alone the toilet tank lid broke, the fridge keeps shutting off, the hydro went out, found out we have mice and just today I found a dead one in the dogs kennel. Now I'm freaking out and want to just disinfect everything including the dog. Go full out and bathe and brush her teeth, wash the bathtub, wash her kennel, all the surfaces..... just everything! Instead I have to make a late lunch (ha try doing that when everything looks contaminated to you) for my son and then find something to occupy him while I get down to the cleaning until it's time to make lunch.

I'm in a full panic and because I have responsibilities I'm having a hard time staying present. Usually I just black out and things magically get done but I'm trying to not dissociate all the time.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Things not to worry about: things you can't control, and things you can control. I tell myself that many times a day because I can be overwhelmed by even the slightest trigger, but have to be 'on' to work and deal with disasters. Some days I just crawl into bed and let it all work itself out by itself. Totally agree on the dead mouse-EEK. Not dissociating takes concentration and time to develop mindfulness. Once you commit to the process, you will improve. Those damn triggers, they seem to be everywhere.

 

[arfie]

It is not only normal to FEEL like life is overwhelming, life is, in fact, overwhelming at times. Sometimes it is more than a feeling. The week you described could definitely over my personal whelm limit. Give yourself a break. Be gentle with you. That's allot to take in. Don't forget to include your attitude in the sanitation drive. Do something nice for yourself. Maybe some quality time with your son???

Gentle validation, Antidote. Take special care of yourself. Steady as she goes.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Do you mean to ask if its normal for everyone to feel overwhelmed with life or is it normal for those with PTSD to feel overwhelmed with life?

The answer is Yes and Yes.

But, I don't think its particularly helpful to say "oh, everyone gets overwhelmed, its no big deal" as I do think that because of our disorder that life can be even more overwhelming due to the stress cup phenomenon. That is, our stress levels overflow a bit faster. I say this as I've brought up my issues in the past to people and they say "Oh, everyone has that problem!" This was after telling someone that traveling is difficult for me as I have horrible issues sleeping anywhere other than my own bed. To add insult to injury, he also quipped "you're not special!" and of course at that point I did set him straight!

 

[Kintsugi]

Wow, it sounds like you've had a bad time of it the past couple weeks. I do think that might overwhelm anyone, but I can safely say I get much more easily overwhelmed due to PTSD. I am similar in that it seems I can just mute my stress and just plow through things on auto go mode. :) But that breaks down in waves, and in the low points I can be overwhelmed just by having to go through too many emails.

 

[Karen12]

Sometimes when things get that way for me it means: 1) I'm trying to do too much, and/or, 2) I'm not paying attention to something that is upsetting me and the "upset" kind of gets generally dispersed over everything. Could it be either of those things for you? I know it's hard to cut back on tasks when you have kids. Sometimes it helps to make a list, prioritize, then focus on just what absolutely must get done today. Make sure you take some time for yourself, too. Hot bath, tea, whatever helps you reground and regroup.

 

[KwanYingirl]

2:20 and wide awake arghhhhh!
I experience overwhelm at both ends of the spectrum. Negative stress and positive news or anticipation of joyful overwhelmed both derail me. I try to keep an open heart and a loving manner in hopes my reactions and easily contained and processed.

 

[Antidote]

Thanks everyone for replying. Solara I guess I was asking both question, also wow that's wasn't thoughtful of your friend(?) at all.

I'm guessing it's a factor of everything. I just got over a period where symptoms were really bad, which caused stress in my relationship with my boyfriend and caused the house work to pile up. Now I'm trying to fix everything and clean and prepare for this high school equivalency course and throw a kid's birthday party and get ready for Christmas/Yule as well as juggle appointments and activities. It also seems like everyday I get a new little life surprise thrown my way.

I asked for more help for the housework from my boyfriend but he just brushed me off saying he works and he thinks he helps out enough around the house. Since he's not offering any help and I seem to be the only adult in the relationship that's capable of making sure the bills are paid, grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning are taken care of I'm pretty sure our relationship is over. That in itself causes a whole bunch of other problems for me

I really feel like life won't ever be better or normal or stable or even "good" for more than a week. Even now that I have control over my life I still can't build anything better of it. I feel like life is overwhelming almost all the time and I just carry on until I snap and can't do it anymore.

 

[Kintsugi]

I think it's important to work out some kind of deal or pact, if you will, in a relationship and renegotiate the terms when stress goes up in an area. B and I adjust the responsibilities we each take sometimes on a daily basis depending on what each of us is doing, how much we work, when we're home, etc. Sometimes I wind up doing way too much just so everything gets done, and then I get overwhelmed and have to start delegating things to him in the fairest way possible. Sometimes our talks don't go as smoothly as other times, but it's important to work out a place where we can both comfortably handle the demands put on us throughout the day, week, month.

If he works, then he probably gets days off during which he can work. I don't know if he works full time, but even someone working full time can agree to take on responsibilities a couple daily responsibilities.

 

[Blue Survivor]

I think it is normal for anyone, PTSD or not, to feel overwhelmed at times. After I left my abuser, I felt overwhelmed about what others could consider to be the smallest things: grocery shopping, blowdrying my hair, you name it. Here was my family, telling me how strong I was, and yet I had a hard time doing my dishes. My T said that for so long I was in survival mode (dealing with life with my abuser, planning an escape, etc) that once I was out my brain and body just sort of checked out for awhile because they were utterly exhausted.

That was four years ago, and I still feel overwhelmed at times; usually when stresses are higher than whatever is normal. You just have to ask for help. Say you're having a hard time, or that you're feeling overwhelmed, and hopefully people will step up and pitch in.