I’m 15 at the moment and since the age of about 11 I’ve had a feeling deep down that was abused, but I remember absolutely nothing. I have very few memories before the age of 11. Some of the reasons I think it might have happened are-
- I have fantasy’s about being raped
- I have had sex with an older man
- I would have sex with just about anyone because I think it’s the only way someone would love me or care about me
- but after I have sex I feel disgusted with myself and some of the times I feel completely numb for days afterwards
-there have been a few times when my boyfriend was on top of me and I just freaked out and had a panic attack
- I have selfharmed since age 12 and have bad depression and other mental health problems
- I used to be terrified to sleep in my own bed till age 11
As I said I don’t have many memories from childhood, but the only guy I remember being around was my uncle. He went to jail the day after I was born. Then he got out when I was 5 I think. He went back a few months after and hasn’t gotten out yet. I don’t remember, but my mother has told me that my grandmother let him take me out and hang out with me against my mothers wishes. She also said he used to give me money and stuff.
Honestly I’m not sure what I’m expecting anyone to say on here because no one here can tell me for sure if anything happened. But I guess I’m just wondering if it’s a possibility?
- I have fantasy’s about being raped
- I have had sex with an older man
- I would have sex with just about anyone because I think it’s the only way someone would love me or care about me
- but after I have sex I feel disgusted with myself and some of the times I feel completely numb for days afterwards
-there have been a few times when my boyfriend was on top of me and I just freaked out and had a panic attack
- I have selfharmed since age 12 and have bad depression and other mental health problems
- I used to be terrified to sleep in my own bed till age 11
As I said I don’t have many memories from childhood, but the only guy I remember being around was my uncle. He went to jail the day after I was born. Then he got out when I was 5 I think. He went back a few months after and hasn’t gotten out yet. I don’t remember, but my mother has told me that my grandmother let him take me out and hang out with me against my mothers wishes. She also said he used to give me money and stuff.
Honestly I’m not sure what I’m expecting anyone to say on here because no one here can tell me for sure if anything happened. But I guess I’m just wondering if it’s a possibility?