men have these sock like things that are super low cut
As a mother of a teenage boy I am aware of this current sock fashion, but alas he took one shoe off during our session to scratch his foot and nope, no socks. Sort made him more human to me but as a woman that still believes in wearing pantyhose with dresses/skirts and knee highs with slacks I guess I am out of sync with the times.
Is the room air-conditioned and quiet? Is he paying attention
I really don't think adequately. His office shares a wall with the waiting room and there is a family of young kids that come in either at the same time as me or sometimes shortly after and you can hear them in the waiting room. I have considered asking him to add a white noise machine because when I am in the waiting room I sit across the room from his office and can still hear conversational murmurs I would hate to think what I could hear if I was just on the other side of the wall. As for A/C it definitely in not cool enough in my opinion.
Psychologists and other mental health workers? It’s been pretty casual, almost across the board
Until the last couple of weeks he dressed in what I have always been taught was business casual. Casual slacks, nice shirt (polo, button front) no tie and that was fine. Although honestly I wish he would wear long sleeves as he has a significant amount of tattoos on both arms and I find my self distracted at times trying to figure out what they are but am too embarrassed to just ask.
The first thing I do when I walk in my therapists office is start shouting "it's too hot or too cold!
It is probably a family/cultural/age thing but I would never bring up the temperature, I was brought up that it is the responsibility of the space holder to ask if guests are comfortable and as he never asks I feel as though I would be rude to bring it up. (also all my previous T have always asked if the temp was okay.
My T dresses pretty sharp for work, but when he wears a full suit
I am not wanting him to wear a suit, I think that for someone that sits and listens to people all day every day that would be really uncomfortable not to mention that I sometimes wear suits to work, for me they are sort of my suit of armor and if my T was wearing one and didn't explain it as it would be out of the norm I would be very uncomfortable. My last therapist I watched him transition his wardrobe and it was interesting. He has worked for a corporate type mental health org in a major city for over a decade and was required to wear a tie to work every day so he did. When I started seeing him he had relocated and opened his own practice but still dressed as he had been required which I kind of liked as he had great taste in ties and I enjoyed seeing those. Then one day I came in and he had on a polo and it threw me enough to ask about the change. He told me that he had realized that it was his practice and he could set the dress code and he wanted to be more comfortable and casual. Occasionally, we would have Saturday sessions and he would wear jeans to the office but never shorts.
I do like this guy, and I guess part of the reason I am trying not to make a fuss currently is that beginning in Sept through the end of the calendar year we will be transitioning to teletherapy as he is moving for a semester out of state to follow his wife for a school program that she is doing. (yes it is strange for me and has caused all sorts of abandonment issues as I am afraid that he won't come back but we are working on it). I guess maybe the wardrobe is just one more thing that shows our age difference (him younger) and my questions about whether he can help me because of the possible lack of experience.
