It's Been A While..

[McCray]

So I haven't been on in maybe 8 months.My life is actually doing really well..ever since I started Zoloft I have noticed a huge change in myself. I leave the house, I have hobbies,and I even became a real estate agent. One of my biggest accomplishments of all howeverwas finally working up the courage to go to "the" place..not only did I go. I spent 5 days there. But that wasn't even what brought me here to day. There's something from my childhood, something I never told anyone. Does anyone else sometimes hallucinate? Not even about the triggering event(s) but just in general. After my abuse started I noticed I would be so afraid of someone coming through my window and taking me that I hallucinated every night, I still do sometimes. I always saw this finger tapping on my window and gesturing to take me. It was truly terrifying. Due to this issue, I had some trouble telling reality from fantasy. And this is always where I feel guilty..so when I was about 11 we were getting the floors done. Which meant I had to sleep on the couch for a few days. I heard and saw drilling and flames, all sorts of noises. But I assumed it was my mind making things up. We later discovered it was my father's ex coworker. In the middle of the night he broke into our property and spilled acid on my dad's car, most likely due to a debt owed. And all these years.. I knew something about it. And chose to say nothing because I was so confused what was real and what wasn't. If I had just been able to see reality, I could have stopped those events. Just something unfortunate with hallucinations though. How do you cope with hallucinations?

 

[Ronin]

Does anyone else sometimes hallucinate? Not even about the triggering event(s) but just in general.

I do.

How do I cope? Reality checks & probability. ;) Is it likely I'm in a situation with (whatever it is my head comes up with), right now? What do I know of my surroundings right prior to this & where I'm headed? Oh, nope, it's not likely right now. So let's disregard that input.

It really depends on how able to multitask/compartmentalize I am though. Years I wasn't, I just distracted myself instead of sidelining the bugger, focused on different goals. It was more energy draining but equally doable.

& by avoiding whatever triggers to hallucinations specifically I had. Working with it only when safe, unlike the usual PTSD triggers exposition.

 

[blackemerald1]

Yes I have hallucinations but most were prescription drug side effects. Now without those drugs I have auditory hallucinations. Not the same as yours, I still sleep walk & do strange things when I can sleep.

I truly believe that I am having a conversation, with someone in the room. It can lead to me fighting for my life, running away & into walls. I am not sure if these are hallucinations. I don't know what they are if they are not. Do you get auditory hallucinations too? Are you asleep or awake when hallucinations happen?

I have not been helpful at all. Just one last thought, all of my stuff happens at night
Hence I am a way over the top insomniac. Do yours just happen at night?
All I've done is ask you questions, sorry. Lol

 

[McCray]

Yes I have hallucinations but most were prescription drug side effects. Now without those drugs I h...

Yes, I get auditory hallucinations every now and again. But for me most is visual. I have a rough time with sleep too. I go through binges where I sleep for 12-15 hours and then I won't sleep at all the next night and following that day I'll take naps throughout the day. Come to think of it, I've always been that way. When I was kindergarteners I went to a private Catholic school which I later would be expelled from. However, aside from that. There was a basement in the school and I was taken down there to watch a presentation that Monday. I remember it being a Monday because I stayed up all Sunday night playing with my babies..and I fell asleep in my teacher's arms. The next thing I knew, I woke up alone in the basement and it was Wednesday afternoon!! Sorry if that's off track :p. So anyways, I do have sleep issues too!! My hallucinations happen more at night but have occurred in the daytime too

 

[blackemerald1]

Well the only clue which sort of explains a little for me, is my traumas all happened at night, & since I am missing time in my childhood memories, I can't say anything.
I mean I remember some things, but a lot of that is just blank.
But my psych suggested that from early evening..
right through to when the birds start their early morning 'it's day light' twittering chorus.. I am in hypervigilant mode, that there is a nexus between my traumas, coming of night, trying to sleep & either not being able to at all, which has lasted up to 4 days, then I crash, sleep sometimes a few hours & have crazy dreams, auditory halls., or I sleep the whole day, relatively peaceful but I am aware it is day time then I wake as the birds start their good night chorus. And the madness starts all over again. It is not refreshing sleep.

I have a fear at night, even when I know I am as safe as I can make myself. But if I try to sleep at night, the circus starts.

So, I don't know when your traumatic experiences occurred, but sounds like night time.

I think my psych is probably right. Sleeping medications don't assist, my stress levels are way too high & they will definitely give me both both types of halls., When I have tried them, they last at most a couple of hours, & I have terrible dreams, become even more stressed because I believe what I saw or heard was real & cannot relax so the cycle will pull me in again.

So, I am not helping in terms of ways for you to cope with this.

One last thing, from early childhood till around 10. As a form of punishment I used to be locked in a totally black/dark room for long periods of time, I can still recall the smell in that room. I was terrified of that room.

But after I grew up, I never had a problem sleeping, never needed any assistance getting to sleep & I was an on call shift worker so I could sleep anytime I wanted like normal people I suppose.

Then following my traumas, I got sick & started hallucinations.

Maybe, your experience at that school is causing it. Anyway what a piss poor teacher & school!

So sorry I have not helped you with how to work it out. But I do understand the realities of hallucinations coupled with sleep deprivation.

Oh, have you divulged the secret to any one involved in that incident? Could this be the stressor?