it's still very difficult to move on

I have PTSD, my ex does not.

The relationship ended 8 months ago, over TEXT. Ok, so not the same as what you experienced, I know. He did say at one point that if things were to end, we would need to discuss it in person. Stupid me thought I’d actually get this. Nah, in the end, people do what they want to do. I tried to get him to talk to me multiple times and, nada… At one point I thought he changed his phone number, and that was actually the turning point for me when I could let go. Well, guess who knocks on my door at 10:30pm on Saturday night? Yeah, him. I didn’t let him in but did talk to him outside. He said he felt like he owed me an explanation. It was mostly a bunch of nothing that I didn’t already know, but he did say that he couldn’t handle me criticizing his family (who had treated me like crap, btw, so it was all said in retaliation). At 8 months out, I already had given myself the closure that I needed. Yes, it took some time, but it eventually came to me. Him showing up on my doorstep was just him doing what he wanted to do for himself. It actually had nothing to do with me. I’m still like….. 🤷‍♀️

It gets easier over time. I know that everyone says this, but it’s true. One day at a time.

Edit. It turns out he didn’t actually change his phone number. It was something I was mistaken about, but still, that was my turning point when I said “it’s really over” and could let go.
I am glad you managed to give yourself a closure. I hope you have also found healing through it