- Thread starter
- #37
A couple of weeks ago, I was concerned "My Guy" might not accept me once he understood my quirks. I was thrilled that none of it made a difference in his opinion of me! I, in return, have to accept him and his quirks...that's only fair.
We were never romantic in the years we've known each other, just very good friends. We've been spending a lot of time together lately to get to know each other better, to see if we can share a future together, maybe not as lovers, but companions.
A couple of things came up that sort of "stung"...little stuff, nothing to get fluffed up about, but it got my attention.
1. He said he can't conceive of the idea of having animals in the house (my cats), that they belong outside, wild. (They've never been outside except in their "catio" a safe enclosure). I mentioned they've never been out. They've been a major part of why I continue living, they keep me grounded. I couldn't abandon them.
2. While taking the tent down, he accidentally ripped the entire corner by pulling the tent while it was still staked to the ground. He never said anything, not even "oops". I said I could fix it with duct tape. He said just throw it out. I didn't bother to say I saved for 2 months to afford the $30 tent and this was the 2nd time it had been used. (My old tent was about 15 years old, worn out, patched and worn out some more!)
3. He's giving me a lot of pressure to sell my house. "Just take whatever you can get". I explained my mom and I put all our money together to find a decent place I could afford alone. 1 acre, 2 story house with sheds, all fenced in, all modern appliances. Its the nicest place I've ever lived...and its in the country. If things don't work out for us, I couldn't qualify to buy a cardboard box, thanks to my former husband. The payments are below 370 a month. This is what my mom called her legacy to me. I'd never be homeless. I have considered renting it and giving My Guy a fair chance but having this to come back to just in case. I don't think that's unreasonable. He does.
He threw away and gave away almost everything he had, and will replace it once the new place is built. He asked if I needed my stuff. What I have is all that's left of my mom and my son and a few special things of my own. No, I don't need all of it but would like to keep at least half.
He never experienced the love of a pet. He's never had an item special to him. He seems rather "cold", but I know his feelings are deep down, never showing. They're in there, somewhere.
His family member's funeral was yesterday. Just another day as far as he's concerned.
I'm noticing these little things and wondering if I'm having second thoughts or getting cold feet, which would be unfair on my part, he accepts me as I am and it works both ways. I wish I knew what to think.
I know it would be a buddy relationship, fine with me. We've never kissed or spoken lovey words. He does say he wants me to be happy, I wish the same for him. This will be interesting. The time to make up my mind is now.
Decisions, decisions.
We were never romantic in the years we've known each other, just very good friends. We've been spending a lot of time together lately to get to know each other better, to see if we can share a future together, maybe not as lovers, but companions.
A couple of things came up that sort of "stung"...little stuff, nothing to get fluffed up about, but it got my attention.
1. He said he can't conceive of the idea of having animals in the house (my cats), that they belong outside, wild. (They've never been outside except in their "catio" a safe enclosure). I mentioned they've never been out. They've been a major part of why I continue living, they keep me grounded. I couldn't abandon them.
2. While taking the tent down, he accidentally ripped the entire corner by pulling the tent while it was still staked to the ground. He never said anything, not even "oops". I said I could fix it with duct tape. He said just throw it out. I didn't bother to say I saved for 2 months to afford the $30 tent and this was the 2nd time it had been used. (My old tent was about 15 years old, worn out, patched and worn out some more!)
3. He's giving me a lot of pressure to sell my house. "Just take whatever you can get". I explained my mom and I put all our money together to find a decent place I could afford alone. 1 acre, 2 story house with sheds, all fenced in, all modern appliances. Its the nicest place I've ever lived...and its in the country. If things don't work out for us, I couldn't qualify to buy a cardboard box, thanks to my former husband. The payments are below 370 a month. This is what my mom called her legacy to me. I'd never be homeless. I have considered renting it and giving My Guy a fair chance but having this to come back to just in case. I don't think that's unreasonable. He does.
He threw away and gave away almost everything he had, and will replace it once the new place is built. He asked if I needed my stuff. What I have is all that's left of my mom and my son and a few special things of my own. No, I don't need all of it but would like to keep at least half.
He never experienced the love of a pet. He's never had an item special to him. He seems rather "cold", but I know his feelings are deep down, never showing. They're in there, somewhere.
His family member's funeral was yesterday. Just another day as far as he's concerned.
I'm noticing these little things and wondering if I'm having second thoughts or getting cold feet, which would be unfair on my part, he accepts me as I am and it works both ways. I wish I knew what to think.
I know it would be a buddy relationship, fine with me. We've never kissed or spoken lovey words. He does say he wants me to be happy, I wish the same for him. This will be interesting. The time to make up my mind is now.
Decisions, decisions.