Law School... Is It Possible?

[Elle_Would_She]

Hi everyone,

I was wondering if anyone had completed law school with PTSD. I recently applied and was accepted. I thought this was going to be a really happy time for me, but it's actually been very triggering. My PTSD came from suffering rape/domestic violence on campus during college. The thought of having to be back on a college campus and in that lifestyle again is destroying me, it's just too much. I've been fairly stable in terms of symptoms for a pretty decent chunk of time, but since these acceptances I've been having nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, you name it. I haven't slept properly in weeks. I'm frustrated because this was a major goal of mine and I worked hard on my applications and had a lot of success. I've put in so much work in therapy and thought I was ready, but I'm majorly second guessing now.

Has anyone here completed an undertaking like law school after being diagnosed? How did you handle it? Is it even possible, or should I just change course at this point....

 

[SamB]

Hi everyone,

I was wondering if anyone had completed law school with PTSD. I recently applied...[ Many have. It all depends on where you are at, how much support you feel you have, how it is manifesting and your ability to cope.

A good friend of mine from South African, parental violence, school violence and of course Apartheid. Complex PTSD, BiPoler, got his degree and rose to a senior management position in an international company. There is always a price though. Dealing with PTSD is the hardest thing I've ever done. I dropped out of the faculty of Engineering in the first semester. All the best to you.

 

[Muted]

Is it even possible, or should I just change course at this point....

Congratulations! Getting accepted into law school is an enormous accomplishment!

I haven't completed an undertaking like that, but I think it's completely possible if that's what your dream is.

I can't think of a better person to become a lawyer than someone who truly understands PTSD. I'm not sure what area your planning on going into, but it's definitely a way to make a positive difference.

I do believe a key point is to work through your past, during this time if possible or before you begin your practice.

I have experienced healing by being back in a place of previous trauma and having a different experience without the trauma helped me tremendously! In a sense, it gave me my power back. It wasn't easy, and I was still triggered to some degree because of the surrounding but it helped me overcome.

 

[Issy]

@Elle_Would_She I think you are so brave. I dont have experience with getting into law school. However I can relate because I recently started school and its tough at times with my Ptsd symptoms but with loads of self compassion I am able to cope. You seem to be really interested in pursuing a career in law, and as you said you have put in alot of effort to get to this stage in your life. Don't lose hope now, if this is your passion, go for it. I do believe your passion will make room for you to manage your triggers and press on. Take any limitations either you or others may place on what you can accomplish. Wish you the best.

 

[Elle_Would_She]

Thanks all for the encouragement.

I am thinking I will work with the disabilities office, join any disabled students' groups. I have been regular about therapy, but I may take the next few months to double down, go a little more often, maybe even try EMDR. In my down moments I consider taking another year off and seeing what happens, but I feel that it's time to pick up and get back to it. The more I let this impact my goals the more depressed I get. Maybe I won't be top of my class, but I can still do it.

@Gia1019 I will be going into victim rights law-- so working a lot with others with PTSD. It is my trauma that motivates me. I am just hoping to find a way to make sure it doesn't end up holding me back.

 

[Socha]

I'm not in law school but I had similar thoughts before I went back to school. The first two semesters were pretty tough. More than once I was sitting in class shaking, I had to hide in the bathroom until I calmed down, studying wasn't easy until I found out what was working for me and I thought I couldn't handle it but for me getting back to school was a key factor for getting better. I'm still in therapy, still on medication and I'm in contact with the office for students with disabilities because I missed one exam due to symptoms but they are very managable at the moment. I love what I'm doing, I love university and I became really good at what I do. I'd say it is definitely possible! One of my favorite members here told me this: "Run at it and run and run just keep slamming into the bricks. One day they'll give in". They did and I've never been as happy and stable as I am right now. You can do it too!

 

[Socha]

I think some topics in law school can be triggering but probably at the same time it could also be some kind of empowerment for you personally.

 

[cat-lady]

Congrats on your acceptance Elle! I'm currently in my final semester of law school in the U.S. and have PTSD also. I'll tell you for sure you can do it! Here's a bit about my experience and some advice based on that:
I had PTSD from child abuse and stalking but not affiliated with school, so I was really looking forward to going back to school. That changed in the first week because after telling my intro Prof. that I didn't want to participate in the social media stuff online due to stalking he turned out to be a complete perv, sided with my parents on the matter, shared child pornography he got from them around the school, and generally set out to get me. So now I do have school associated PTSD as well. He's no longer working there of course but it's been a very rough situation. I'm sure you know what a bad job a lot of universities do at handling sexual assault and sexual harassment. Anyway, I don't regret deciding to go back to school but I sure regret choosing the school I did. If you have time to apply to multiple schools, maybe see who has the best reputation in terms of dealing with this stuff. Also, since I wasn't in communication with disability services and groups on campus I had no support when this happened so it's very important to do what you said and get connected with those groups right off. While this is obviously not a normal reaction you'd get from a law school prof, I will tell you it's pretty normal for law profs, especially first year, to be harsh on students, yell at them, and try to shake their confidence when calling on them. There's a culture of behavior (at least in U.S. law schools) that would be considered unprofessional in most other types of schools, and so depending on your type of PTSD that could be triggering. This isn't a reason not to go, but a reason to get in touch with disability services as soon as possible and get accommodation letters sent out by them. Another thing is that as with most grad schools, most students are usually off campus so maybe that would help you to some extent. First year you don't really get to choose your schedule but after that you mostly do. I stacked all my classes into a couple days a week to be on campus as infrequently as possible. Finally, if you really want to go back to school without going to a campus it can be done. Accredited U.S. law schools don't have online only programs, but most other types of U.S. grad schools do, and so do Canadian law schools. If you have a foreign law degree I believe you have to get at least a U.S. LLM to practice in the U.S. and some of those are offered as online programs. I don't know the details of using a foreign degree in the U.S. though. Anyway, good luck! I hope that helps! Feel free to contact me if you have more questions about attending law school with PTSD.

 

[Abbii]

The problem isn't getting through law school. Getting through law school was actually the easy part, study/regurgitate - rinse/repeat....its the stress of practicing law. I found myself inexplicably drawn to practice areas that I relived my traumas over and over. Imagine reading CME's over and over year after year. Thinking you can make a positive difference but actually you are merely a cog in a giant wheel of justice that doesn't exist. Sorry to sound so down but that was my experience, the practice of law can be a soul sucking experience for the most healthy amongst humans.
If you do go to law school - get through the bar ect ect please limit yourself to a practice area like real estate/contracts ect. DO NOT engage in the Savior complex, so avoid domestic/criminal/juvenile.

 

[Beemo3780]

My husband has OCD, which isn't the same as PTSD, but it makes things more difficult for him. He made it through 8 years combined of college & law school. It was tougher for him outside of law school because there really aren't that many jobs available for lawyers that will cover the cost of student loans. It took him about 4 years after passing the bar to get a decent job at a firm.

 

[cat-lady]

That's a good point. The U.S. has more lawyers than law jobs right now. I hear employment is better in certain fields like medicine and tech.

 

[JrJr]

The only way for me to relate would be returning to a familiar setting that the trauma took place. I lost my job as lead artist/ lead animator and had to return the only field my resume sets me apart from the pack and pay bills easily without penny pitching; I have a family to help support. I was a professional driver, package delivery, with great accolades, received high honors and awards, the problem is my trauma is associated with driving. Before working there I had untreated physical and emotional abuse from my childhood and adolescents, then suffered for 2 years through awful weather conditions, a highway system unprepared for the amount of semi truck traffic, countless near death experiences, numerous but countable fatal accidents, first responder, the trauma list is long but I will get to my connection; just felt I needed to give a point of reference.
I returned back to delivery driving, in roughly the same area that I drove in for those years. I shared the sentiment of can I handle the stress? I have worked hard, in therapy and outside, to get where I am now, I have the means to continue moving forward. I delivered again for nearly 6 months, prior to the job i did not drive regularly and that was only for a number of months, it took me a year and a half to be in a vehicle without full breakdowns or heavily medicated, sitting driver or passenger. It all started out innocent, I was comfortable, confident even, but after only a month, or so, I began to wear down. I let my bosses know the situation, they were of no help, only saying how phenomenal I was doing, hang in there. By the end of my time with the company, Flashbacks, anxiety and panic attacks, crying fits, rage, Isolation, suicidal ideation, all daily occurrences but I had to help provide financially so I pushed exposure therapy into the nontherapeutic realm. Close friends were telling me to put in applications, or resumes, anywhere, begging me to get away from it. I neglected to mention this was all without therapy. I lost contact with my therapist and lost trust from our numerous conflicts pertaining to medications.
The point is I feel that it is achievable. holding a strong support system, whether it is family, friends, contact with a therapist you trust, knowing how much stress you can handle along with PTSD. Or better phrasing how far can you push yourself without it being detrimental to your success with PTSD? As I read in other replies, which I should have read before typing all of this, I would think that the stress of experiencing the setting without trauma can be empowering but the true test is once you are practicing law.
I'm apologize it all started trailing off for me up there. my kids started acting crazy/ fighting with one another and I lost my thought stream. I have taken several steps backwards in my treatment, recovery, coping since the driving position. BUT!

Congratulations on your acceptance but more so the growth, progress, you have made through all your hard work. Progress should always be cherished but be conscientious, not so much weary, because a lack of mindfulness can take away the progress.

In short, don't be foolish like me.

P.S. I had a point and lost it, tried to regain it, didn't. I hope it is insightful. I was just going to delete it.