Looking For Some Encouragement/validation

[mrsmegan]

I was having a conversation with my T this morning and he sort of dropped a bomb on me, he is likely going to be moving to a city on the outside rim of our metro area (not definite yet) but that it would likely cause him to change where he is practicing.

(Before you even say it, I realize that given that this is not set in stone yet, and a lot could happen - so I shouldn't get way too ahead of myself....but we all know how that works)

I just started panicking. I have been seeing him for over a year now - and he has been the best therapist I have ever had. It tripped up all of my rejection and abandonment issues.

We discussed continuing to work together, even if that means getting creative with times or even meeting over Skype/facetime on occasion. I want to stay with him - there is no way I want to change. I really appreciated how much he wants to continue the work with me and also how he knew this would be hard for me and was concerned about my reaction.

It's just hard - the uncertainty and just dealing with the emotional trigger of all of my stuff....

 

[Ava Jarvis]

:hug:

I had both my psychiatrist and psychologist leave within months of each other. :( I broke down majorly. Continuing with either was not an option.

I hope that you're able to continue to work together with your T.

:hug:

 

[ladee]

@mrsmegan , I understand it triggering your abandonment issues... and the panic that has set in. But it sounds like he will do what ever it takes for the two of you to continue to work together.....He sounds very concerned about how you were going to be with these changes... prayers that this has a great outcome for you !!! Thanks for letting us know what is going on with you.... sending gentle hugs....

 

[mrsmegan]

Thanks @Ava Jarvis and @ladee for your kindness.

I am just trying to sit with the security I left his office with - the safety I felt that we will continue on and not let my anxiety take over and lead my down an unhelpful path.

 

[ladee]

@mrsmegan.. sounds like you are doing all the right things to keep yourself grounded.. posting, asking for validation... perfect. Knowing the possibility of a mental run for the rabbit hole, doing what you need to, to not go there... perfect....
If you get upset, just keep us updated and let us know if you need anything... you are doing great. That is a jolt to deal with.... and you are doing awesome !!! Very inspiring.. sending hugs for trying so hard...

 

[Silent one]

I am glad to hear that you and your T will work it out so that therapy continues. It is tough work finding a good therapist. I just very recently had an issue with mine. What I realized is that I cannot live in the future because it causes too much anxiety for me. I have to stay right here, in the present and live in the moment.

 

[Sideways]

Your feelings make perfect sense to me. Any change to my interaction with my T, even him going on leave for a couple of weeks? Man that's hard.

But you know what's going on, you've identified the thoughts driving the anxiety (abandonment), so you're ahead. Once upon a time, I bet you wouldn't have known that this an abandonment thing, so hey, it's rough, but you're soing great.

Maybe it's just me, but when I get twitchy about (wrongly) perceived abandonment heading my way, my head tells me to get in first. Walk away before they get a chance to abandon me. Don't do that:)

Your T sounds great. Life has interfered, but your T has put it out there that he's determined to make it work regardless. Trust your T. You'll get through this together:)

 

[mrsmegan]

@Ragdoll Circus Thank you so much! Your response was so very encouraging, I really appreciate it.

I know exactly what you mean by trying to leave first - I definitely go there too. I want to somehow anticipate the rejection or make it happen myself so that I can feel more in control.

 

[Tinyflame]

I saw this earlier.. yes I suppose I do that ^^ too.

I wish you the best. Yes it's devastating, really. I think well, hopefully it's better for them, maybe even what they want. I don't see it as their choice to abandon, but neither does it change how it is. And I'm just too old or too many losses maybe, to pretend I don't know how the fall out will be. But, that's my problem.

I hope it will work out for you. Best wishes and prayers. :hug: