Methods To Get Over The Waiting Room.

[Meadowsweet]

When I'm in a public place. my guard is up. The more nervous I am, the more aware I become of how I appear to others. Its a state where I feel I'm ready for any unexpected encounters, and I'm ready to act the part and be whatever I need to be.

But obviously in the therapy room I need, and want to express everything thats held in. And at the moment I feel comfortable enough with my therapist to do that.

But, the problem is, that to get into the therapy room, I have to enter a multi-purpose healthcare centre, and sit in a very public area. Its the 'community health' area, and is seperate from the GP area. So I feel like my 'issues' are slightly exposed.

The way I deal with that is to put up my guard. But, I can't take that guard down in an instant. So I find that I go into the therapy room and can't connect properly to what my therapist is saying.

I know I'm able to resond, because I do it here. And I feel like I could respond to her well. But I can't seem to take the waiting room barriers down quickly enough.

I wondered if anyone else has experienced this, and if you've found a way to have a more instant on/off switch?

 

[ericaboo]

My latest tactic is to wait in my car and walk in the door about one minute before my appointment time. This only works if the appointment starts on time though. Otherwise, I have to deal with exactly what you describe above.

Something else that's worked for me is to write notes before the appointment about what I think we might talk about, and then bury my nose in those notes in the waiting room to avoid having my whole energy level derailed by my discomfort with the other people in there...

Oh - and I also started wearing a hat with a brim, and avoiding eye contact - sounds petty, but I just feel like I'm there to see my therapist and not to interact with other clients. I don't mean to seem ashamed or hide my identity - I just want to control the stimulation level of the waiting room environment and stay in my zone.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Thaks for this advice.

I get anxious about being late for anything, so I'm not sure I'd have the patience to wait until the last minute.

I will write a couple of questions down from my homework, and will hopefully bring them out when she asks. I think that sounds useful.

I smiled at the hat thing, because my skin is sensitive to UV, so in the summer I'm meant to wear a hat. But I hate it because I feel I stick out:)

 

[wife of]

A great way to stop people from interacting with you for any reason is to wear a pair of ear phones..don't even need to have them plugged into a device..brightly coloured ones work best.

I use them as a foil when reading in public to stop over friendly idiots asking what I m reading.

 

[Spiderallis]

You're not the only one having trouble with the multi-purpose medical center waiting room. Playing games on my phone occupies my mind enough to to be okay, so long as there's not little ones crying. I tend to get absorbed into the little puzzle games on my phone and no one talks to me, I pretended not to hear it when someone did... if it was something important they would've said it again.

 

[mamachick]

My physician is at a "doc in the box " facility with walk ins and many coughing sick people. Sometimes all 20 chairs all filled. He now takes appointments only though. So far, I have still had to wait over an hour because he is behind. I am now determined to do early morning to avoid this. I also take my ipod and put the earphones in. I seem to attract those talkers that want to give me their history of medical problems for the past 50 yrs. I use to not mind-these days I do and just cant do it. If they say there are still a couple ahead of me I will go sit in my car awhile.

 

[maddog]

Hi Meadowsweet.

I absolutely relate to your frustrations here, as I experience the same thing with my T, but in a different context. My T works in my workplace, and so usually I see him at some point during my work day. Though we try hard to schedule for first thing in the morning or last thing at the end of shift, this isn't always possible, and even when it is, it requires me to either switch from or to "workplace coping mode" immediately before or after our session, or, in the case of meeting first thing in the morning, switch from "public transport commute coping mode".

I too find this very very difficult and find that my on/off switch is very slow to activate, resulting in a lot of awkward conflicted difficulties adjusting into or out of the therapy context.

Certainly haven't discovered the ideal solution, but for what it's worth, totally agree with Wife of's suggestion re earphones - they are an excellent way of keeping people away and I use them always when on public transport etc.

Also, I do try to take a brief time out before session, eg, walking around the block or sitting alone in a quiet office for a few minutes before going to see him, just to try to find some mental separation between work and therapy. T often has appointments outside of his office, meaning he isn't always in his office directly before appointments, so we have an understanding that I will call him sometimes 15 minutes before our session and if he isn't in his office at the time, he will say "go on up" and send me to go sit there quietly and wait for him. Yes, it takes more time than I *should* be allocating for therapy sessions, but for me it's critical.

I realise you can't do these things in a public medical facility, so apologise if that has just been a thread hijack and nothing else. But if there's anywhere else at all other than the public waiting room that you could sit, hell, even if it's the bathroom for even 10 minutes beforehand, this could maybe help to give you some of that mental downtime and easing off of stimulation before your appointment.

I think it's a shame that your T can't do what some doctors I know do, whereby the receptionist will usher you into a consult room while the doctor is still finishing up with the previous patient,and leave you there briefly to wait until the doc comes in. This kind of "filtering" could be really really effective for helping people to be in the right headspace prior to appointments.

Sorry that was all so rambling and useless.

Maddog

 

[Ted Moen]

I have a lot of trouble with anxiety and panic in waiting areas. What I did to reduce the problem at the VA was to locate a peaceful place (within reasonable distance of my therapist's office) and ask my therapist to pick me up there instead of the waiting area. It helped a lot.

Ted

 

[Meadowsweet]

I'm glad I'm not alone and thanks for all the suggestions.

I don't get on with headphones, but I shall try taking a magazine or something.

 

[Kimpersonal]

If I want to be left alone anywhere crowded, I just sneer/frown a lot. :cautious::O_o::mad:

I find it works really well to deter unwanted chit-chat. :speechless:

If in a medical office waiting area ... this should be effective and even commonplace/expected, right? Let's face it ... nobody is there for the "good time" promised.

"Look away people ... nuttin' to see here!" :roflmao:

 

[Meadowsweet]

In the community health waiting area itself, theres never been more than 2 other people there.

But its right next to the main reception, so everyone coming in and out for GP services or baby clinic has to walk right past it.

I'd almost rather be in a crowded area where I can blend in and not be noticed. Its like being a goldfish in a goldfish bowl.

 

[Hashi]

I'm wondering if you could also address this on the other side of the waiting room/therapy room transition? When I've had to rush from work straight into therapy I find it hard to change mode, as Maddog says. Then my T and I do a little "leave it at the door" ritual where we spend a couple of minutes grounding and getting present with the therapy session.

This might be actually saying the things I want to leave outside the door - not going into detail, just stating eg "stressy day at work, having to rush, worrying I'd be late". As I say them, I imagine all of them being on the other side of the closed door. Then I "check in" with the room for a minute. The picture I don't like much is there, and I've got the cushion the way I want it, and the tissues are within reach...

It only takes two minutes, but it does help to change my mindset and calm me down.