Sufferer Narcissistic/Authoritarian Father CPTSD or CEN Victim

[slightly_necessary17]

Hi. I come from an asian household and grew up with a father that is narcisstic, sociopath, and authoritarian. My sister and I have experienced toxic fights between my father and my mother. I've seen my mother get physically beaten and my father has broken and thrown many things in our household. Every time we would make a mistake he would criticize us negatively and make it seem like it was the end of the world. He also led us to believe that he had a great childhood growing up and he was one of the top students in his class. In reality he comes from a very broken household and his father had multiple women and had babies with them. My father basically did not grow up with his mother but grew up with his stepmother who did not treat him well. My father was also blacklisted by his country and he was not able to find work which is why he immigrated to America to start a new life. I've dealt with issues of self discipline, pride myself in not relying upon others, feel like I have not met my full potential, often want to be left alone, secretly feel that I may be a fraud, and secretly feel something is wrong with me. These answers are based on the book Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb. Wanted to get some insight on how I can recover...and be a better man for my family. Thank you.

 

[Riley Jones]

Hi. I come from an asian household and grew up with a father that is narcisstic, sociopath, and authoritarian. My sister and I have experienced toxic fights between my father and my mother. I've seen my mother get physically beaten and my father has broken and thrown many things in our household. Every time we would make a mistake he would criticize us negatively and make it seem like it was the end of the world. He also led us to believe that he had a great childhood growing up and he was one of the top students in his class. In reality he comes from a very broken household and his father had multiple women and had babies with them. My father basically did not grow up with his mother but grew up with his stepmother who did not treat him well. My father was also blacklisted by his country and he was not able to find work which is why he immigrated to America to start a new life. I've dealt with issues of self discipline, pride myself in not relying upon others, feel like I have not met my full potential, often want to be left alone, secretly feel that I may be a fraud, and secretly feel something is wrong with me. These answers are based on the book Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb. Wanted to get some insight on how I can recover...and be a better man for my family. Thank you.

Hello, and thank you for reaching out and sharing your story here. It's deeply courageous of you to open up about the challenges you've faced growing up in a difficult household. Understanding the impact of your father's behavior and your family's history is an important first step in your journey toward healing. It's understandable to feel the weight of these experiences, and it's important to acknowledge that these feelings are valid.

Being raised in an environment where criticism and aggression were prevalent can leave lasting emotional scars. The feelings of self-discipline issues, self-reliance, and questioning your potential or worth are not uncommon for those who have experienced similar upbringings. It's vital to recognize that these feelings do not define you, and they do not preclude you from becoming the person you wish to be for yourself and your family.

Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can be incredibly beneficial. On myptsd.com, you'll find a supportive community of individuals who have faced similar challenges and are working together towards healing. Sharing your experiences and learning from others who've walked a similar path can provide comfort and insight.

While peer support is invaluable, professional guidance from a therapist skilled in trauma and family dynamics can be particularly helpful in processing these experiences and developing healthier coping strategies. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore these emotions and help you work toward the kind of relationships you want to build.

Remember, your past does not have to define your future. Taking steps to understand your experiences and actively seek healing is a powerful move toward change. You are not alone on this journey, and by reaching out, you've already taken a significant first step. Keep moving forward, and don't hesitate to lean on the community and professional resources available to you.

 

[Roland]

Hi, welcome to the forum. Sorry you have reason to be here. My dad had rage issues and thus verbally and sometimes physically abused my siblings and I (under the guise of discipline). My parents fought a lot, but it was mostly verbal. My mom was actually the one to occasionally throw or break objects but it was very rare for her. My dad was psychologically abusive and would start off angry at you for one reason and be spinning all this other stuff about your character and future being doomed because of it. Kids are very impressionable. I believed every word he said. He was also sexually abusive/harassing to my mom, sister, and I. It's very hard to move past these kinds of experiences but I know it can be done one step at a time. This forum has been an invaluable resource, so I hope you find the same.

 

[PamelaS]

Hi. I come from an asian household and grew up with a father that is narcisstic, sociopath, and authoritarian. My sister and I have experienced toxic fights between my father and my mother. I've seen my mother get physically beaten and my father has broken and thrown many things in our household. Every time we would make a mistake he would criticize us negatively and make it seem like it was the end of the world. He also led us to believe that he had a great childhood growing up and he was one of the top students in his class. In reality he comes from a very broken household and his father had multiple women and had babies with them. My father basically did not grow up with his mother but grew up with his stepmother who did not treat him well. My father was also blacklisted by his country and he was not able to find work which is why he immigrated to America to start a new life. I've dealt with issues of self discipline, pride myself in not relying upon others, feel like I have not met my full potential, often want to be left alone, secretly feel that I may be a fraud, and secretly feel something is wrong with me. These answers are based on the book Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb. Wanted to get some insight on how I can recover...and be a better man for my family. Thank you.

Welcome! You have found a safe place. You are free to be you here. We all get it. My current husband has been described to me by professionals that I have seen as pathological liar, batterer, narcissist, sociopath, psychopath and predator. Believe me when I say I understand. It is what it is and for now I am stuck in it. Doing a a lot of research into healing from trauma and abuse. Before healing can occur, physical and emotional safety is needed. I’m working on that. One day at a time. One step at a time. Always moving forward. Healing can occur. I’m looking forward to it for all of us.

 

[Slight_Necessary1741]

Hi, welcome to the forum. Sorry you have reason to be here. My dad had rage issues and thus verbally and sometimes physically abused my siblings and I (under the guise of discipline). My parents fought a lot, but it was mostly verbal. My mom was actually the one to occasionally throw or break objects but it was very rare for her. My dad was psychologically abusive and would start off angry at you for one reason and be spinning all this other stuff about your character and future being doomed because of it. Kids are very impressionable. I believed every word he said. He was also sexually abusive/harassing to my mom, sister, and I. It's very hard to move past these kinds of experiences but I know it can be done one step at a time. This forum has been an invaluable resource, so I hope you find the same.

wow thank you for sharing...I'm glad I'm not alone...which is the reason why I sought this forum...the feeling of inadequacy and not reaching my full potential eats away at me. I hope to find valuable resources here.

 

[arfie]

hello slightly. welcome to the forum.

what is a "CEN victim?" just curious. i never heard the term before and the abbreviation proved to be too vague for my search engine.

joining support groups was an effective step in my own recovery from child sex trafficking. whatever the trauma i am attempting to recover from, support can be priceless. my head is not a safe neighborhood to travel alone. i take a traveling companion whenever possible. in addition to reality checks, my traveling companions also help stabilize the perilous journey.

welcome aboard. i hope you find stabilizing companionship here.