Need a peptalk today....

[SeekingAfrica]

Everything has been so hard for so long. Survival, challenge after challenge non-stop. I've been taking meds and going to therapy and facing each challenge as it comes. But I can only work on my phone now on work available only after 6pm currently. And b
Badly paid. I'm the most frugal I've been, but I have to move where I live in a week and still have no clue if I'll find something I can afford. Yesterday I worked til midnight and I still made almost nothing--better than nothing but still. I have a week to finish cleaning and decluttering and I'm just exhausted. I try to take all one step at a time and some things fall in place. But today I find it so hard to do anything. I do stuff and then curl under a blanket for few min to watch something comforting. I'm craving a moment, a day. To not plan, not calculate every penny, to be able to buy snack or cheap dinner without risking not paying an important bill. I think when I move I'll be able to have a moment. If I had just 20$ more I'd be able to maybe find a better apartment, but getting them in time is unlikely and all my resources are drained. That makes me sad. But I am running on fumes and determination. And today I am just unable to get more done than the absolute musts. Even cleaning, even doing anything for 10min tires me so the day seem never ending string of mini tasks.

 

[somerandomguy]

:hug:
It sounds like you DO need a break. If you don't feel like you can take a day off for yourself, how about an afternoon or an evening?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

:hug:
It sounds like you DO need a break. If you don't feel like you can take a day off for yourself, how about an afternoon or an evening?

I don't know. Maybe Monday. But I have to move at the end of next week and I feel like I have to be on every second. I just don't know if I can be. Today I can take maybe a couple hours until work is available finally. Need to cook something but that will be quick. I just feel really uninspired and exhausted.

 

[somerandomguy]

Sometimes the most productive thing is really to do nothing.

 

[ChildofGod]

I'm sorry you are so stressed out and running on fumes. I hope that you can find a way to relax. Do you have a friend who could help a little with the chores?

Maybe break the 10 minutes of chores into 2 5 minute chores?

I hope that you find relief soon.

 

[Ronin]

If I had just 20$ more I'd be able to maybe find a better apartment

I was about to ask if you have paypal b/c its fairly gutting how much youve been hurting for so long for so few. :(

If that not a thing, cheering for you from a distance. You got this.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I was about to ask if you have paypal b/c its fairly gutting how much youve been hurting for so long for so few. :(

If that not a thing, cheering for you from a distance. You got this.

Thanks. Wanted to pm you to talk but can't figure out how. Maybe cause its on my phone. I do have paypal and that's very kind of you. But I swear I'm not... It's not that I can't make more, just there has been less work lately and looking for new one along with apartment has been challenging. I set myself minimum I have to make to get a place (not even talking about that 20) but I think I might end up making 20 less even regularly. There is so little work. From Tuesday I will try working from library, hopefully that will help. So on one hand, I shouldn't accept help... On the other hand I would be eternally grateful. But cheering messages are also appreciated. :) I know I'll survive this, I'm just anxious about what way will that be, will I find place, or stay in hostel for a bit or have to go home... Hopefully the first, but you never know. Sorry for the rambling, I ramble when anxious. Might be time to finish work for today and rest.

 

[Deanna]

I wish you the best and hope for a good outcome!!! I think you can master this, just as u have in many other things in your life.... I feel u may get somewhat overwhelmed!

 

[ChildofGod]

I'm rooting for you now and always. I hope you find a solution soon. You are so sweet and strong. (And beautiful, to me.) If this is too much, I understand.

 

[Sinner]

Hi. Hugs to you. Sometimes that helps when nothing else does. Slow and easy. Take a minute to love you and take heart in the fact that your a survivor. Prayers for you if its o.k. Hang in there.