No Direction

[trying2movefwd]

I have no idea what to do with myself after Friday. I will graduate out of an outpatient program. I can not find a job that I can handle right now. On top of ptsd,mdd,and panic I have a learning disability that interferes with my ability to handle the easy retail, resturaunt type jobs. I have a degree, but terrible job story and my degreeis something I would need a MA in...counseling or social work. I dont believe that is ideal in this season of my life. I like to learn though and I am trying to decide if schooling in a different field would be wise for me right now. I am so stressed out about it. Some of my folks think I should go on disability, but I need a purpose. ..aside from being a single Mother. Dang I am pretty depressed today. :( without vision people perish."

 

[GrayOwl]

Good Morning....
You have a busy mind. I hope things work out for you. And I'm sure they will.
In your writing I sense "I can't" "I won't" This can't" This won't"..... a lot of worry and fear and anticipation.
Slow down a little. It's ok to.
Congratulations. You graduate. You have vision. You are a mother. You want a job. You want to learn. Those are all visions.
Perhaps you lack the patience to let those things come to you. They will come in time if you work for them.
Look for the "right" job. Look for a "good" place to learn. Most good things take time. Sadly, but true.
My wife loses her job next Sunday. Without her income we will struggle. Maybe lose our house.
In the past this always caused me to drink and run away. And that only insured disaster in my life.
Today I trust we will get through it. I'm trying to accept whatever has to be . I don't like insecurity.
She'll probably find a better job anyway - and now she can move closer to the grandkids - and be Gramma.
And other positives will come along. But they come on their own schedule - dammit - I want them now - so I still fret and worry some.
But I also do what is needed - as I can - and that is often slowwwwwwly - because I can't handle much stress.
I avoid my negatives, try to be around positive stresses - like this website, support groups, T, good friends, sunshine, feed my birds, service work, to name a few.
I hope you can find the your good things through all this. They are all around us.
I know one thing you could do. You can take one day or even just one hour off and don't worry. Force yourself if you have to.
Take a deep breath. Relax. Deep breath. Relax. Repeat as needed. After that hour you can go back to worrying and stressing all you want.
Read, or read to someone. Maybe you could volunteer at an animal shelter? Find something you really like to do for that 1 hour or part of a day.
You deserve it. Life IS meant to be good - and we should be good to ourselves.
I'm going to clean my shed today. Get rid of some baggage. Forget about my troubles as best as I can for a few hours.
"You can!" "You will!"
I believe. Thanks for being here. Thanks for sharing.
Sometimes my positive attitude sounds like lecturing or offends. If it does, I'm sorry.
But you can do it! :hug:

"A Person Is Only As Happy As They Allow Themselves To Be." --- Abraham Lincoln.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I have no idea what to do with myself after Friday. I will graduate out of an outpatient program...

Oh, Gosh! That is a lot of anxiety! I've totally been there. Actually, I was handling my bad issues okay-ish until I graduated and suggenly a lot of new worries and changes were added to my already pretty full plate.
Just that formulation: "I have no idea what I'll do after Friday..." That's insane amount of pressure, like by Friday you should have figured out everything that comes next. Again, I've been there...but that circle has only led me to failures. You DO NOT need to have it figured out by Friday. In fact, tell yourself that you won't, to take some pressure off. If that is an option, take the next week or month off of any pressure and use that time to regroup.
Take a deep breath, and start taking walks or something, and think and figure out the answers to some questions. You know what you can't do right now- good-that's a start. Now, what can you do? You do not have to find purpose+find a job+get a degree all at one time. Think. What would you like doing ideally? Is that an option with your disability? What degrees do you need for that? If income is a priority, while getting whatever degree or finding a purpose, you will need to work something to afford that. You can't work in your specialty or the usual retail/waitress/etc. jobs...is there something that you would be able to work without a lot of issue right now? Do you need a degree for that?
I think, the 2 main things to figure out, is what is your ideal and possible occupation, and if that requires a degree, how you can get money in the meantime. But again, all this can and should be broken down to smaller questions that you can answer. Take your time and answer them. Rushed decisions fueled by anxiety lead to very underpaid jobs. Also I should mention that a lot of my very together non-PTSD friends that graduated the same year as me took 6 months of interview after interview until finding jobs in their field. And even than, they had to start with 3 m internship that was unpaid or paid enough just for transport....So take a deep breath and pace yourself. It's unlikely that you can figure out all those major decisions in just few days, and anxiety never helps to make good decisions.

 

[Ronin]

I will graduate out of an outpatient program.

What happens commonly with people graduating the same program?

Is there any recommendation the centre you're receiving treatment at, would have for people in your situation?
Are there any connecting services, or social services that might help you with orientation?

 

[Mytime]

Wow, trying2 you seem to have a lot on your plate. I feel you need to take a big breath, so let's take one together:) or maybe 2. Now I'm going to give you a big hug, because I think you need it.

I have ADD, and only could read at about a grade3 level when I left school. As an adult I pretty much taught myself to read. So I get, how you feel about not be able to do certain jobs. But here's the thing. I think you just need to slow down a bit:)

I, myself went back to school to get my GED. I have to do some up grading to get into the program.
My dad passed earlier this month and I had to take some time off, but I'm going back this week. And it's ok that I had to take some time off
Did it slow down my progress. Yes! But that's ok.
Do I know what I want to be when I grow up. No!
But that's ok, because I'm on my Journey. I'll get to where I'm going, somethings will be faster then others.
I'll make mistakes on the way, but they'll be mine.
And the same for you.
Friday you graduate!!:)
Be proud, you reach a goal, celebrate it. You worked hard for it. Take the time to be proud of yourself.
Live for right now. Because your future isn't going anywhere without you.
Set one goal at a time, it can be anything you want. Bigger isn't always better.

Anxiety can make us feel like we have to have all the answers right now, today , right this minute. But do we?
When anxiety is making me feel that way, I ask myself.
Would I tell someone else,the same thing. No" so I need to do the same, to myself. I don't know if this helps you any. But please know your not alone.