Open Challenge, The Happiness Advantage Starting April 1st

[The Albatross]

Yay Junebug write it down when you can in your private journal, or here (and I just invited you to our private conversation).

 

[anni]

Hahahaha! Tear ran down your leg, now I'm er, crying too! TOO funny!! Yes, Find a Grave is an amazing site, like a mini Ancestry and FREE, for heaven's sake. Ancestry is just getting stupid it's so expensive now and there's just much less chance for feeling you've DONE something for someone else. I really would recommend it for anyone who would wish to find an outlet for plain, old kindness. It's lovely to just make someone's day, all you have to do is take a photo someone requested, stick it on there, and it's like you gave them gold, isnt it?

Can we claim NOT pitching someone into the pond as an act of kindness? I hope so. My Mom, despite 6 of her grandchildren and 2 children turning their backs on her, checks in on all of them via FB every, single morning, faithfully. A lesson in kind, she walks, talks and breathes it. Here's what she got for it yesterday. The grandaughter, my niece, who has already kept my mother's only great grandaughter from her for a year, posted a photo of this child on FB, wearing a shirt reading ' Big Sister '. So there will be one more baby and family event my mother will be cruelly, awfully, excluded from deliberately. One of the reasons I took this challenge is that this kind of thing has turned my world dark. These horrible people permeate my life even while I cut them off as much as possible, do not engage. There are just no circumstances under which this is ok, none.My mother is so normal it's ridiculous, no threat or harm to a child, her only crime has been not handing her house over to people to live in. She did not wish to live with these folks because she's afraid of them, bottom line, not that anyone asked her, is disallowed even this fear. It took a LOT of processing yesterday not to just go POOF. I'm pretty sure I was able to stay on top of the emotions because I'd been running these tools for quite a few days now.

I'm VERY grateful I was able to throw a spanner in the works a couple years ago, literally save my parents from actual, real, certain death. True story, although I realize there are people who would of necessity deny this. They cannot. There are witnesses to my sister telling my mother she should not get her life-saving pace maker/defribulator, because, she said, what if she lives too long and dies of something else? I took Mom for her operation, of course. My sister literally refused. She also said she had a vacation sceduled, had no intention of changing her plans to nurse my mother after the operation. You can't make this stuff up. I'm VERY grateful I took my mother for that operation, and continue to take her to all her appointments, will always do so. I'm VERY grateful at this moment that my mother is just fine.

I'm grateful to be married to a man who reminded me again what he promised Dad, in a good sacred, old-fashioned, death-bed vow. Dad asked my husband to please, take care of Mom, don't let the buggers get her, make sure she was ok for the rest of her life. My husband said of course, Bill, don't you worry, I'll always take care of her, you have my promise. Dad got to die at Peace because of this wonderful, good man I'm married to. Gosh. Grateful. He brought it up because I was SO upset, he just offered it as a bottom line. It's an awfully good one.

Excersized kind of quickly, made sure I did a little extra, which is something I do when I'm feeling out of control with not being organized in my head. The meditation did not go well, but I did get there.

I'm almost not kidding on not pitching someone into the pond. In point of fact, yesterday was the sister's day to come see my mother. She has to run the gauntlet past my sliding glass doors to get there and I was in exactly the correct mood to have her ascertain how pig-like I'm finding her treatment of my mother. It will indeed be kinder to allow her to walk past, not sure if I am able to do that. She called Mom to say she had 'flu'. Yea. Swine flu.

I'm sorry and please excuse if all this doesn't seem on topic. Well, believe it or not, this whole challenge is the first thing I THOUGHT of yesterday, when Mom silently handed me her computer with that stupid photo on it. Truly. And, for real, there was absolutely a difference in my reactions. Don't get me wrong, the fury,rage, the hurt, the empathy for my mother, all there just processed kind of instantly into MUCH more appropriate 'slots' than I think they would have been previous to beginning this experiment. There was also a new decisiveness, actions taken I do not think I would have been capable of before, at least not as well. So this is journaling about a positive experience, how wierd is THAT? Hee. In all the carefully rehearsed glee with which my sister and niece wished to slice and dice me, bet they'd just pop and fly around the room backwards to have anything interpreted as 'positive' in connection with their latest ambush. Pretty cool, huh?

Ok well if I can't list withholding a pond-pitch as a kind act ( I think this is arguable given the price of dry cleaning ) , I did a ton more listings on Find a Grave. It doesn't take very long, and you just wonder what kind of kick it gives to the relative who finally 'finds' their grgrgrandfather after some long search.

 

[anni]

ps and I'd like to second the Yay Junebug thing!!!

 

[The Albatross]

Good day all and welcome to Day 11 (half way through the challenge). For any late comers, there is only one spot open in the private conversation for any of you who would like to join our Junebug. (Private conversation as a 20 person maximum).

Day 11

1. I am grateful that Frankie's surgery went will according to his surgeon.

I am grateful that I when I called for a hair cut, they could take me in after only a 30 minute wait.

I am grateful that I went to lunch with my 3 dimensional friend Brenda.

2. A positive experience I had in the last 24 hours: As I slept for 10 hours, Sunny B our foster stray crept closer, and closer and closer until he was curled up behind my knees. He maintained contact though for most of the night, either with his half of a tail, his paw. He wanted and needed physical contact, and it made me feel good that he trusts me.

3. Exercise: blank til I update

4. Meditation: blank til I update

5. Random act of kindness: Printed out two copies of The Spoon Theory and brought one to my agency nurse to help explain to the younger less experienced home companions what it feels like to have a chronic illness. The second one I didn't really know why I printed it, but at lunch my friend's husband has been aggravating her about her chronic acute illnesses and when she read it she said she's going to buy the book and give it to her husband. It was an intuitive thing I guess, but I was glad to be able and ready to help my friend.

 

[The Albatross]

Sorry Anni, I believe "not pitching someone into the pond" would be self restraint rather than a random act of kindness. :hilarious:

 

[Changing4Best]

OK, 11 of 11 days DONE, doing good.

Today's positive experience was to sit out on my makeshift "front porch" and watch all that God has created out there in the mountains and trees. I saw all kinds of birds, a pair of each it seems. Cardinals, robins, chick-a-dees, songbirds, a hawk and others I am not sure of their breed. I was waiting for the bus, but it was just marvelous to watch all of creation here and listen to it too, such beautiful songs they sing. Then the HIGHLIGHT of the show was 2 bees mating!!! I've never seen that before. They were bumble bees, and they were hooked up and flying together. She had a kind of bag hanging down off her as they went. I could not for the life of me figure out what they were, too small to be a humming bird, too big to be some insect, but then when they separated and she pulled in her bag, I recognized what they were. So now I know ALL about "The Birds and the Bees" and all that, hee hee....

I write all my stuff in my journal, I just put the highlights of my days here online. I hope that is OK. I figure it is more important to do it all than to post it here.

 

[The Albatross]

Walked a mile today for exercise... meditation is "next" although I still seem to be dragging my feet about it.

 

[The Albatross]

Day 12

1. I am grateful that I gave Sunny B a bath without getting scratched or bitten.

I am grateful that my mom is dropping the cat off to the clinic for his neuter for me.

I am grateful that I ended up having an afternoon and evening at home.

2. A positive experience I had in the last 24 hours: Watching my old tom Boomer approach the newcomer cautiously, respectfully, and calmly laying down nearby, showing no aggression. He has the best demeanor of any cat I have ever owned and it was nice to socialize them in an unhurried way yesterday.

3. Exercise: blank til I update

4. Meditation: blank til I update

5. Random act of kindness: Picked up a small gift for a friend's birthday today and am dropping it off before going to work.

 

[anni]

No no no, I meant RANDOMLY pitching them into ponds! :D Still no, huh?

Yesterday did my excercizing, but had to do it in 2 parts due to time limitations so it felt not-great. It always makes me feel like I'm just all kinds of scattered or something, when I can't make a routine out of this stuff. I also only was brief meditating, with the same result, that I just felt scattered instead of grounded.

My act of kindness was to put a few bags of really good clothing into the van, to take to Goodwill. I've been taking some things to the local consignment shop, since you can kind of let things rack up over maybe a couple of years and end up with 300 bucks. I've decided I need to go back to giving a lot to Goodwill instead, where an organization set up for less fortunate folks benefits.

This act of kindness thing in the challenge is very interesting. It seems I must have accidently bumped into something which the professionals have had their eye on anyway. I've done this, the last few years, when something has really flattened me. If I'm dripping around, just upset an crying, for instance, it's been incredibly helpful to look around and see what can be done FOR someone else, no matter how small. Find a Grave is great for this, as is keeping a stock of 'everyday' cards to pull out and send just to say hi or going through your closets to see if there's something someone else would like. Whatever. All I know is that it's really helpful.

I'm grateful for the rain we're having today, because we really need it this spring.
I'm grateful my daughter picked the grad school she did, it's nicely far enough away from the dreck here. She's had enough, I'm happy to see her starting a nice life elsewhere. She very much deserves it.
I'm grateful for a photo my Dad's brother's wife unexpectedly posted on a site. It was just nice, like a sudden connection with Dad and his ancestors, it's been sticking with me in a comforting way all day.

I may fail on the positive experience, will try. I'm kind of a genius, like Pollyanna, at turning a fall off a roof into something to have a picnic about. There was yet another deliberate knife twist in my other's raw wound this morning, I'm a little more flattened, which my sister will be very happy to read, congratulations. If someone is an easy target, being old, ill and defensless, I guess it means someone is a big, powerful, splendid kind of person to be able to be mean enough to hurt them, using children and babies as weapons.Nice, congrats all of you. I was unaware, now will adjust my thinking and throw the appropriate parade. It's very hard to find the positive experience here. I think maybe it will have to be knowing I'm not one of them. That is comforting. They can lie, hurt, threaten, do whatever they want, which they have of course, and it won't turn me into one of them. Thank God. That's positive.

 

[anni]

OH! Thank you Alba! We just crossed posts. I seriously AM very, very grateful that our big, swaggering cat Chancey is finally tolerating Dad's cat Bella. They're not exactly buddies but they'll swap nose-sniffs and move on now instead of pitching instant battles on sight, as of just this week.

 

[Changing4Best]

I got to thinking today about showers, soaps, hot water, bathmats, safety bars in the tub... and became very grateful for all of these, not only on my account, but can you imagine if no one else used them? UGH!!!

I've done 4 out of 5 today, but there is still PLENTY of time to do # 5 yet. My friends invited me to go to Walmart with them, as we do each month. I don't need anything there, but I sure am grateful to get out of the house and be with friends. It will be fun, I am sure. Also, walking through these huge Superstores is good exercise, so...

 

[ms spock]

I am grateful that I managed to attend two social events today.
I am grateful that I went to the library and shopped tonight.
I am grateful that I sat with feelings.

I am really struggling at the moment but I am still hanging in there. This is phenomenal given how low I am feeling.

I exercised.

I rested and napped as meditation. I listened to music to relax.

I did a couple of random acts of kindness.