Overcoming Fear To Trust - Fear To Feel Touch - Dating

[Butterflies2023]

I am mid - fifties. Survived incest as a toddler; physical and mental abuse from father and absent mother; and survived 25 years of abusive marriage (but have 4 terrific well balanced kids - now all grown). I have had five years of therapy. I feel stuck. I don't know what to do. I don't want to live alone. I want to have fun. (That alone is just wonderful to acknowledge). But I am so fearful. I have never dated. I married the wrong man and stayed 25 years. I don't know how to date where to go and all the stufff involved in dating is scary. So then I push the ideas deep down and away. Thinking I will be alone til I die. Maybe that's ok but I am bored. I do go out and love to hike and I am quite comfortable going to movies or play alone. I keep myself educated and challenge myself; except in this area. Suggestions and advice needed

 

[Muted]

Do you feel like your in a healthy place as far as you've worked through the previous abusive relationship?

 

[Sweetpea76]

Hello @SherlocktoWatson... I moved your thread to the PTSD relationship section where you're more likely to get get better feedback. :)

 

[LostinND]

Hello @SherlocktoWatson, I to have struggled with this, I know it is hard but I tried the dating sites I have met some good people on them, not everyone is looking for a hook up, some people on them are just like us, they are looking for friends and people to be around, I know it is hard to try, it was for me but it was worth it, the whole dating world has changed since we were young, it is worth a try

 

[MisterCatLady]

Have you looked into local hiking/nature groups? Go with your interests and find ways to meet people. It sounds like you're on the edge of a great adventure. You're free from a previous life of oppression and you already have 5 years of therapy under your belt. That sounds infinitely exciting. I'm really happy for you.

 

[joeylittle]

@SherlocktoWatson - you'll need to log in, in order to post.

 

[Enaila]

I'm at the same place you are and decided to try a dating site. While I have a gentleman sending me messages many states away, I am still anxious.

Part of me is still saying I am not worthy of being cared about and I also feel broken. I know I will eventually need to share about my ptsd. Maybe by the time I have a person to person date, my startling won't be as obvious.