I was feeling a failure because I just can't, do something that was supposed to be so simple, but it isn't.
It is not simple at all. And the people that say that really don't know what they are talking about.
I was coming off medications, I was suicidal, I was extremely depressed, my PTSD was off the charts, I was living in an unsafe place etc etc and I signed up for an 8 week MIndfulness course, and after that I tried to kill myself 10, 15, 20 times? I was interviewed before the course about what was going on for me. I told the Mindfulness teacher what I was going through, I was honest, but he didn't have the skills to understand it was the worst possible thing for me to do.
I had never attempted suicide before doing the 8 weeks MBSR course, despite having suicidal ideation from the ages of 8 through to 43 years old.
Mindfulness is absolutely dangerous for people in certain states but it seems that only psychiatrists with a highly developed understanding of Complex Trauma have a nuanced understanding of that.
The Mindful Way Through Depression urges depressed people not to start Mindfulness when they are in a clinical episode. However, two bit psychologists and people that have done a weekend workshop on Mindfulness are causing a lot of damage to vulnerable people. Some of whom no type of sitting meditation should be ever attempted.
The same with chronic pain - different types of meditations, if any, need to be used.
“Let your thoughts move wherever they please,” of Mindfulness is actually life threatening for someone actively in suicidal ideation or depressive ruminations.
Mark Williams, himself, said at the beginning of the Mindfulness Summit that Mindfulness is not a panacea.
I suspect is is the get rich/get well quick capitalism that is not only not good for the people, but the planet as well. There are not magical cures, there is only a lot of hard work, persistence, dedication, practice, making mistakes and really going hard at it. No quick fixes.
And the whole quick fix thing is tied to not wanting to look at why people suffer from the mental illnesses that they have - what the familial and societal contributions are to a person's situation. If we can pretend there is a quick fix then we can blame the victim for not choosing to get well in 10 easy sessions.
I have talked to some Australian Buddhists at length and they told me that they gently said to people that they were not ready yet for meditation and needed counselling and support, and that some people are never ready to do Mindfulness or Meditation.
Mindfulness for the severely dissociated is not helpful either. It can also be dangerous.
It is an interesting article and I have had discussions about these issues with a few people, and in particular my psychiatrist.
I am one of the ones who really shouldn't have done Mindfulness, and it almost did cost me my life. I then had to break it all down and work out what were the best ways to go, and which were dangerous ways for me to go, to work out my own very specific and particular program. I have struggled with doing it the last two weeks but I have worked out a practice of Mindfulness that works for me and enables me to grow.
I couldn't have managed this without David Burns' "Feeling Good", a very savvy psychiatrist who is trauma aware and a range of other things. I can now do it though, and it gives me glimpses of a world outside of PTSD/trauma world. But it has to be particular depending on the types of trauma you experienced, how long you experienced trauma, if you have developmental trauma, if you have never had a personality outside of being abused as a child, if you have an attachment disorder etc etc.
