Medical Pregnancy anxiety and panic

[stjohn1633]

In 2012, I had a missed miscarriage (I was pregnant for 7 weeks after my baby had passed away at 6 weeks along). During that pregnancy, before I even had a confirmed miscarriage, I started having anxiety and panic attacks. I found out the baby had passed away when I was 10 weeks along. After that, I had panic attacks every night for months. Slowly, I recovered, I didn't seek medical help though, for the anxiety. I even had the miscarriage at home (well actually at my grandma's house). So about 9 months later, I got pregnant again and had anxiety and panic attacks during that pregnancy (that was my 3rd child). When she was 13 months old, she was burned in a house fire and was in the hospital for 20 weeks. After that, I saw a counselor for almost a year. I was experiencing hyper-vigilance and just general daily anxiety about everything. I have been doing pretty good for the past year. I've had what I would consider small panic attacks about once a week... mine are always health related.. like feeling a pain and thinking that somehow that pain will lead to my sudden death. But I've gotten to where I can tell myself, it's just a panic attack and it will be over soon. And I'm able to wait it out without anyone around me noticing it.. I'm in nursing school right now and it usually happens while I'm sitting in class. Well, I had a surprise pregnancy and I'm 24 weeks along. I had a pretty bad panic attack tonight. It started with a pain in my lower left abdomen. I was so distraught. I was asking my husband if he was going to let me die and telling him that I love him etc... made him come to the bathroom with me while I sat on the toilet, held his hand and I was shaking so bad. These are the kinds of attacks I was having in 2012. I really don't want to go back to that again. The pain was most likely just constipation, gas or normal pregnancy growing pains. But all I could imagine was that I was bleeding out on the inside and would soon be dead. I think I just needed to get that all written down tonight and I appreciate anyone for reading this.

 

[mumstheword]

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. That sounds really stressful and quite debilitating.
I have had some similar experiences and they are extremely tough, I know.

I had a missed miscarriage at the start of the year. My Baby would have died at around 12 weeks but it wasn't detected until I was 14 weeks. I had a pretty shit Dr who wouldn't listen and tests that were botched and just all round crappy medical care.
That month, knowing something was very wrong but just having to wait was pretty soul-destroying.
I did have a positive experience in the hospital though. I had a D&C. Unfortunately my partner couldn't be there during that and that sucked.
I just had another miscarriage at 12 weeks in July. That one was at home and pretty traumatic, coz I didn't want to go to hospital and be without my guy's support.
I also have had a bad burning of one of my children when.he was a baby.
All these things add up and take their toll.

Maybe if I can suggest that some self talk adjustments could help when.you are in panic mode? Remind yourself that....
At 24 weeks it is most likely that your pregnancy will go absolutely text book perfect.
Getting the right level of care is going to go a long way in easing your mind.

Are you happy with your prenatal care?

Could you get some extra midwifery support to help you feel more relaxed about your pregnancy, or consider hiring a Doula?

Maybe also get some naturopathic advice about some calming herbal support that is safe to consume in pregnancy.

Have you tried prenatal yoga? I found yoga and especially prenatal yoga when pregnant extremely relaxing and supportive.

What about a pregnancy group? Talking to other pregnant women and midwives and doulas might give you a lot more confidence and a space to talk out your fears and concerns that could go a long way to alleviate the anxiety you are experiencing.
Feel free to come back and offload here more.
I am new here but have had a bunch of babies, traumas, panic attacks and 3 miscarriages, so I would be happy to offer myself as peer support for you, as much as I can.
Take care, be gentle with yourself and i am here for you, in whatever way I can be.

And remember to just stop and focus on gentle but deepening breathing, as much as you can. Just breathing can go a long way to calm the nervous system and off set a panic attack.

 

[Friday]

I'm a high risk OB patient (placental abruption & hormone driven cancer = a whole lot of top flight medical care, as my placenta is constantly ripping during my pregnancies & I have to have a lot of ongoing cancer treatments). After my son was born I rather casually exclaimed "OMG! I don't want to kill myself tonight!" My OB's eyes almost bugged out of her head. Aaaaaaand then she could have cheerfully throttled me. I never thought to mention to her, even once, my family history of "The Suicide Hours". That's just normal, right? Hormones are a bitch, and for about an hour or two every night I have to handcuff myself to a radiator to keep from eating my gun. The women in my family just have that reaction to being pregnancy. Like, all of us.

Medical terminology? Antepartum Depression / Antepartum Psychosis. Exactly the same as PPD, just a lot less common. The nice thing about it, is that it's almost immediately relieved by birth. Takes a few months to taper off as hormones normalize, but that's hormones for you. They can take a bit to build up and take a bit to taper off as our bodies reset themselves. My suicide hours tend to start in my 2nd trimester, are 50% better the day I give birth, and for the next 6mo? Each day is better than the last.

Come to find? There are medications for that. That are safe for use during pregnancy. And? That some of my high risk stuff might have been better managed &/or eliminated if they'd known I was having that severe of a reaction to my own hormones.

The point of this being? Your anxiety & panic attacks may "just" be a PTSD thing. It's also quite likely they're purely a pregnancy thing, or a combo of both.

Talk with your OB about what's up. Truly.

 

[mindys1550]

I glad to see you are getting support on here. Being pregnant is hard and there is always so much uncertainty around everything. 24 weeks is very good though. I would start counting backwards because it won't be long before that baby is here. Hang in there and take good care of yourself. Hugs