I have done a little further review of the laws in your country (I was curious and I am studying for law school entrance exams now.) My brief review shows that actually sending the sex tape, especially if he is asking for anything or making other threats, and separately, making threats against your life are very much prosecutable and punishable crimes in the Ukraine.
However, it does appear it is a legal environment that often blames the victims, way more than in my own country. I just read about how until 2008, law enforcement could issue warnings to victims of domestic violence, and this would often happen instead of prosecuting the perps for their criminal behavior. That was codified in the law! Such victim blaming makes me ill.
"In 2001, the Ukrainian parliament passed the law "On the Prevention of Violence in the Family" ... In 2008, amendments were made to the law... Prior to the 2008 amendments, the law allowed police to issue warnings to victims of domestic violence for "provocative" (or "victim") behaviour thereby shifting the blame from the perpetrator to the victim."
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Dead Link Removed)
I had a mini WTF freakout moment here when I read that part alone.
We are not blaming you for what he is doing to you. No one is.
Not here.
i fail to see how that excuses any of this.
It does not. It absolutely does not. No one here has said that there is anything you have done OR COULD DO that would excuse his behavior in any way.
I'm guessing that he or others maybe are blaming you in real life for his behavior? Because no one here is. Yeah, you were gently got called out on
@FridayJones's great example of doing something like tickling him, but it doesn't make it your fault what you are going through now. She's been clear on that.
It's not your fault.
Are there any organizations in your area that help women who are victims of violence? Domestic violence or any other? While he has not physically hurt you, he still is acting in a manner that would qualify for assistance from such an organization in my country by making threats against your life and doing everything else he has done. Have you contacted anyone for help to deal with what is happening? (The information I read did not name anything that was helpful.)
You do not deserve this. It's not your fault.
