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Problems Displaying Sexuality?

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I don't think sex without emotion is what it is supose to be.. the age old saying don't have sex untill after you are married and are sure you love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with this person! There is a huge difference when you have sex for stress relief or just for the hell of it and when it just becomes the next "and final" step in a true lasting relationship. Somehow it just feels right and special when you wait for the right person.. it does feel like that last boundery of trust and love has been crossed and you feel completly safe with this chosen person.
 
In the recent years I have been very closed off and could not be sexual, I am learning still it can be nice and not offensive. My encounter for my last child was strictly to reproduce. It just still leaves a "dirty" feeling; I am as I said before here learning to still get rid of it and be open with my husband. Some damage can be hard to shake.

PTSD undiagnosed and totally out of control I had no problem. I was a stripper and knew how to play into any and every fantasy. And did. Hell, it is how I got my husband nuts for me now and we still work on that was not the real me, luckily he loves the real me. I was intoxicated most of the time to handle it but I was prime for clubs, working where ever and when ever I wanted and turned down a Houston billboard in my younger years. I was very sexual and made a living (damn good one) being that way. This is NOT a good thing and was just self destructive and would love to see every strip joint closed as there is no thing as an emotionally healthy dancer. And no, I was never a hooker. Did not go that far, I was just another person once I entered a building.

I think my medication fat I gained, chopping off hair, and age did me a favor as I have no "easy out" now. PTSD doing a major blow up actually saved me from returning to that. I can only dream to have your issues and would with so much pride.

I would not be so quick to tell a new friend about PTSD, but let them know later after they know your personality and you know you are compatible. Also, I do not think virginity should be brought up as first talks do not include how many you have slept with! It is another later issue, but one you can say with no shame.
 
veiled, thank you so much. that is just what i was hoping to hear. thanks to everyone in this thread. everyones different points of view have been very eye opening.
 
I am glad you needed and it helped you to hear many aspects. I am just now being open about this phase of my life here and hope people do not change their opinion of me because of this! Very embarrassing. But may as well be honest? We have war heroes, to fire fighters and police to strippers here. There is real life for ya huh?

I had to add I did have a career and made good money then, but I should point out my bad phases.
 
Veiled... no opinion of you has changed for me. Still think you're a brilliant person, if not even more so for having been to and got out of so much damn crap.

I feel like I shouldn't really post this, because I don't even really know you, so you might think 'Who are you? I don't really give a hoot what you think!' LOL - I think we could compete who worries more about what others think right now! Yuh, im going now, im spouting anxiety tonight...! I just wanted to say no opinion change here anyway!
 
Veiled... no opinion of you has changed for me

Ha ha scared me for a moment! I always give a hoot. I am trying to take a editing break so I can work more on me and be more involved. I give a hoot about everyone here even if I am not all that involved. I hope my break will help me get more involved and post more personally. Hubby even commented how he has not continued posting, guess my crash is have a ripple effect.

Anyway the hoot part made me laugh and is totally off topic as my identical was a hooter girl and in the calender! Guess it runs in the family???
 
LOL... eh what's a hooter girl?! What calender? Oh excuse me, LOL, i hate not getting jokes/quips!
 
I don't think that there is a person on this earth that isn't embarrassed, or ashamed about something that they have done in their life. It's called being human, and living.....

Everyone displays their sexuality in different way, shapes or forms. Humans are the only species on the planet that have sex other than for procreation. Our bodies were made IMO for pleasure, and procreation. How we choose to use them (or don't) is our own business.
 
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