Chaos put it's strings on my soul before I opened my eyes to this world. My Father was madness and my Mother was insanity...
My Mother was diagnosed with manic depression; "that is what it was called back then" she also suffered PPD... My father was hell fire beyound control and beyound the cruelty of violence. I was two years old when Mother took her life.
My father was at work that day and I was home with her. Thank God I can not visually remeber that day; but, my soul harbors the pain!
My Mom insisted on getting me a puppy when I was just a couple months old. His name was Sony. He was My constant companion. After my Mother passed I Sony and I were sent to live with my Grandparents. I could not speak and had a hard tine eating for a couple years. But my Grandfather was a kindred spirit. He was a ww2 vet and was no stranger to the storn. He had my heart smiling again within a couple years of his constant support and wisdom.
Just as my soul was comming back to the light my Father came back into the picture. Thank God I can not remember the terrible fight he had with my Grandparents; but, I was sent far away ti live with his Aunt and Uncle. I was 6 years old and could not bring Sony. They put me on a jet plane. That was my first memory of the DD. I was so terrified of life that I shut down; but the world would not stop turning no matter how long I stared or held my breath.
That was the begging of my dark days and lonely stare. I lived in 8 different homes within the five years. My fathers storm would maje it rain and the flood would come again and again. So it was a DD blur to me.
By the time I was thirteen, I had seen blood demons, been sexualy abused and beaten close ti death several tines. My heart beyound despair and my soul was dark.
I was in and out if institutuons and juvenile detention facilities for the next five years. I was the night and adrenaline made me feel alive. There were laws for me; yet, I still loved deep within. It was this love that compelled me to pritect the weak and honor the beautiful ones. My heart could not withstand the sorrow of arbitrating pain.
So began my path back to the light. It was no easy endeavor for me. I moved far away and started a new day. I was 18 years old and my path back to the light led me beyound the vail. I over dosed on angle dust and left my body behind my spirit. All my dark days pressed down on the remnants if my light with a burden beyound words. Yet; I would not let go of my light, my hope, my love!
It was was love that reignited my lifeless body and blessed me with the breath of life. When I opened my eyes to this world again, my soul was wiped clean; yet; the scars were still there. In next couole years I suffered a horrendous storm; " the greater the light, the darker the storm" i sometimes think that my greatest sorrow is that I was not strong enough ti carry the light within my cleansed soul.
I have seen the darkes day the brightest night. I have felt the greatest love and hottest hell fire. My life has been a continual blur of PTSD and DD time warps; yet, I will forever adhere to my love within! I would take all the dark away and bless this world if it were my simple choice and within my power! !!
My Mother was diagnosed with manic depression; "that is what it was called back then" she also suffered PPD... My father was hell fire beyound control and beyound the cruelty of violence. I was two years old when Mother took her life.
My father was at work that day and I was home with her. Thank God I can not visually remeber that day; but, my soul harbors the pain!
My Mom insisted on getting me a puppy when I was just a couple months old. His name was Sony. He was My constant companion. After my Mother passed I Sony and I were sent to live with my Grandparents. I could not speak and had a hard tine eating for a couple years. But my Grandfather was a kindred spirit. He was a ww2 vet and was no stranger to the storn. He had my heart smiling again within a couple years of his constant support and wisdom.
Just as my soul was comming back to the light my Father came back into the picture. Thank God I can not remember the terrible fight he had with my Grandparents; but, I was sent far away ti live with his Aunt and Uncle. I was 6 years old and could not bring Sony. They put me on a jet plane. That was my first memory of the DD. I was so terrified of life that I shut down; but the world would not stop turning no matter how long I stared or held my breath.
That was the begging of my dark days and lonely stare. I lived in 8 different homes within the five years. My fathers storm would maje it rain and the flood would come again and again. So it was a DD blur to me.
By the time I was thirteen, I had seen blood demons, been sexualy abused and beaten close ti death several tines. My heart beyound despair and my soul was dark.
I was in and out if institutuons and juvenile detention facilities for the next five years. I was the night and adrenaline made me feel alive. There were laws for me; yet, I still loved deep within. It was this love that compelled me to pritect the weak and honor the beautiful ones. My heart could not withstand the sorrow of arbitrating pain.
So began my path back to the light. It was no easy endeavor for me. I moved far away and started a new day. I was 18 years old and my path back to the light led me beyound the vail. I over dosed on angle dust and left my body behind my spirit. All my dark days pressed down on the remnants if my light with a burden beyound words. Yet; I would not let go of my light, my hope, my love!
It was was love that reignited my lifeless body and blessed me with the breath of life. When I opened my eyes to this world again, my soul was wiped clean; yet; the scars were still there. In next couole years I suffered a horrendous storm; " the greater the light, the darker the storm" i sometimes think that my greatest sorrow is that I was not strong enough ti carry the light within my cleansed soul.
I have seen the darkes day the brightest night. I have felt the greatest love and hottest hell fire. My life has been a continual blur of PTSD and DD time warps; yet, I will forever adhere to my love within! I would take all the dark away and bless this world if it were my simple choice and within my power! !!
