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Relationship PTSD Divorce?

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Hi,

It's been a while since I have provided an update. My husband and I are still married, and all our legal proceedings are at a standstill, though we never filed anything to begin with. (I only filled out the papers and saw the courthouse facilitator.)

We were basically back together in November, but maintaining separate households. Sometime in January, he slowly started moving back in with me, and he's basically been at my house since the end of January. Things seem to have been going well, except he still hasn't gotten the therapy he needs, and he won't sleep in my bed. We are still intimate, but he always sleeps on the couch. He's tried a few times to fall asleep in my bed, but he just can't.

When he originally came over, he was intending to fix up his house to rent it out. He was working on that for a bit, but then the pandemic hit. Now, within the last two weeks or so, he moved the guy living in his garage into the house. He was telling me that he would rent out the garage apartment, and rent rooms in the house.

He made it seem like he was going to be staying with me forever, but one day my pipe acted up (again) and I wouldn't let him pay to dig up and replace my sewer line. (I actually disagreed it about whether or not it needed to be done in the first place.) After that, he didn't seem as interested in redesigning the new house or any of the the other stuff he was talking about.

Today, out of the blue he said he wanted to move back to the other house, and that he was, "dying here." This is the first he's said about this, and I wasn't sure how to react, so I didn't really say anything. I imagine we'll talk about it later. He's not acting like he wants to separate or anything like that. He just wants to go back to living at the other house.

I'm more than a little frustrated with the situation and am trying not to lose my cool. He hasn't followed through with the VA on anything since last October. I just felt like crying the second he said he wanted to move back. We originally planned to remain living in separate houses , so I'm not sure what I was expecting. I know it's not the end of the world if he moves back over there, but I also don't know if that will really fix whatever is bothering him. Maintaining two households was stressful for me because I work all the time, so I have to choose between doing stuff at my house or seeing the kids or vice versa.

I really want to talk to him, but I kind of think maybe giving him space is better.
 
@BanjoraLost I understand your hurt and confusion. With everything going on in the world today is stressful and now adding this stress to your life must be hard. Are the kids with you now?
 
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