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General Rant and complain thread open to all supporters

Well it’s been a lively -read brutal- 30 hours at Casa de La Friday… so true to form (thank fawking every star) the moment I’m about to lose my mind entirely?

Sanity reasserts.

No. I do NOT traffick in guilt/shame/humiliation as currency. Never have. Never will. Try it? Rather than being direct? Get me IN your face telling you exactly why you are wrong, and no matter how much I might agree with what you want… how you’re going about trying to get it… will never get ANY traction. And most people? I will rear view mirror the FIRST time they try that bullshit. NVM whatever the hell round this is. Grrrr. I might should work on that. But it’s somewhere between 4 & 80 items down on the list. Also, not being seen for who I am, bit of a nonstarter. I’m not going to play along. Ever. Reality check yourself a different way in the future. Because if you need reassurance in who the hell you think I am? THIS is not the way to achieve that.

Yes. I am here. In your corner. You are not alone.

No. I will never be everything/all to you. And I know that. And am not attempting to try. I’m just me. Who loves you. Who doesn’t take shit. But will move heaven and earth, just the same.

f*cking hell, it’s so much easier to be on the other side of this, to be the person losing their mind, than the person who loves the one going ballistic.<<< I guess it’s a day for lessons.
 
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So before my partner pulled away she always expected me to act the same way as her abusers in the past even after months of me showing her through my good actions i would not do that. it was completely draining for me and i never understood how to help her trust me more. i know this is a tippical response but even over time it didnt seem to ever change.
 
So before my partner pulled away she always expected me to act the same way as her abusers in the past even after months of me showing her through my good actions i would not do that. it was completely draining for me and i never understood how to help her trust me more. i know this is a tippical response but even over time it didnt seem to ever change.
Cha. The ONLY person I tolerate not seeing me-as-me? Is my kid. And even then, I go toe to toe with him from time to time. That is NOT me, & you need to back your shit down. Now.

I almost exclusively date people with my own brand of crazy. There’s a certain kind of childhood-trauma that makes mixing “you” up with their abusers… the normal course of business. There are people who can handle that. I’m not one of them.
 
That’s usually a tip off to how he’s feeling… he generally isn’t a raging asshole. The worse he feels, the bigger the asshole.

So much of what u write resonates so much with me.

He's so cruel when he's in an episode. And I'm his enemy. His paranoia is off the charts tonight. I'm trying to kill him with rat poison, I'm lying to him all the time, I'm not who I say I am, etc. 20+ years with him. Supporting his ptsd for the last couple. The only person pretty much left in the world standing by him

But for how long. I know it's his ptsd talking. But God it hurts.
 
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