Sufferer Really Need Help With A Problem

[veteran]

Hello everyone,

I've been out of the military for 3 years now and I've been getting help with my ptsd. I don't know if anyone on here has had the same problem, but since I've gotten out I've had zero sexual desire. Nothing the doctors or anything as helped.

If anyone has had this problem or knows someone that has please help me. I'm in a new relationship and i'm freaking out that this will f*ck everything up again.

 

[amethist]

Hi veteran.

Welcome to the forum.

The problem you have is not unusual with mental health issues. this can be one of the first things to go, and one of the last to get back.

The best thing you can do is not stress about it and hope that occasionally you do get in the mood and things go well. As you recover and feel better in yourself, this will also come back, but please do not rush it, you will only disappoint yourself.

Its not easy but not unusual either.

Sorry I cant help you any more, its just how it is.

Amethist

 

[TLight]

There are a lot of women out there who don't care about sex. I'm sure you can find someone.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Sex can be a difficult thing when you are depressed, worried and having anxiety about other things. I speak from experience. Take your time and take things slowly. She will probably like that anyway and you can get to know each other more before bring sex into the relationship.

Take care,

Ayesha

 

[Livy's Mom]

My sufferer has this problem from time to time. I can offer one bit of advice. It's important that you are honest about why your sex drive may suffer. I would take it personally because I didn't understand what the problem was. Once he was honest I took the burden off of myself and could relax about it. I stopped putting pressure on him about it too.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[Girl3]

I'm not a vet, but I am an incest/rape survivor - and sex is touchy for me no matter what. What I can tell you is that intimacy isn't sex. Being held, hugged kissed is different than sex. The key is honesty about the bottom line. Not everyone wants "sex" - and maybe your new relationship doesn't really want that either. But intimacy - holding, sharing - can be a wonderful release.

Sex is a biological act. Love and intimacy are not.

I hope you find the love and support you want.

 

[Stevie]

Hello,

I'm new here too but welcome to the forum.

My PTSD stems from a different source but I can relate to the lost libido. I agree with Girl3, intimacy and sex are very different. Be honest when you're ready. If she's the right one for you, she'll know you're worth the wait.

I recently rediscovered my libido. I caught my partner mastrubating to porn and instead of freaking out we watched together, talked and eventually rediscoverd one another. Not all in the same night of course. It took time but porn was/is very helpful for us to not feel the pressure of performance.

Wishing you the best and thank you for your service.

 

[NarcSis]

I think one thing that's important in this situation is to be open about it too. Your partner will be understanding if she's in the relationship for you.

There is nothing wrong with not having sexual interest, it simply means your mind is otherwise engaged. Intimacy without sex is (to me) far more important in a relationship.

 

[Loveneverfails]

I agree with the others that sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, most especially if it's a new relationship. Take your time, you may find that as security and intimacy blossom in the relationship, so too might your desire. And, if not, you can tell your partner when the time is right why it is you feel the way you do. There is no rush on sex in a budding romance, if there is, it likely won't be a lasting and fulfilling romance in the first place. For now, try your best to push that problem to the side and enjoy getting to know the person you've chosen to be with while also focusing during your solo time on getting on with your recovery.