I'm not going to come here very much anymore. I'm sick and f*cking tired of Red and a few like him and their constant measuring of PTSD - "My PTSD is worse than your PTSD", and "How can you have PTSD you were at a "safe" place" (even though it wasn't safe). Overall, I know they are just a few f*cked up persons. That is what this site is for. Hopefully they will keep coming here and someday learn something to help them heal. I come here to try to help others, and seek help when I'm f*cked in the head myself. I'm not perfect, far from it actually. I've also come here because of the sense of community here... with most people. To have someone who is hostile to me at all times just makes me angry before I even log on.
I want to heal as much as I can. To become as normal as I can. I used to hate EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I detroyed stuff around me on an almost daily basis because of my anger and rages. I once destroyed THREE $150 printers in less than one month from going into flash rages. I need to reduce the number of things that piss me off to make it to the next stage. I've healed a lot over the last few years. My PTSD is still a major factor in my life, but not as bad as it used to be. It's still a rollercoaster, but better overall. My flash rage, anxiety and agoraphobia are my biggest problems now.
I'm a spiritual person. I made a promise to myself when I was 13, not to forget what it was like being a kid, having imagination, forgiving those who did wrong to me. I haven't always been able to keep this promise, but I try to hit the reset button when I notice I'm failing. This has set me apart from a lot of "regular" people, even more so here, from people who have seen hell. Even more so from those few who embrace hate and disfunction.
There seems to be a sub-set (mostly gone now) that don't want anybody on this forum unless you carried a gun, shot at people and got shot back at by those people. It's silly to me, but meh, can't change the world. PTSD from serving in the military in a combat zone is like no other PTSD, even with it's variants.
I want to write so much more, but I know many aren't interested in reading it.
Overall this website has helped me a lot over the last couple of years. I want to thank Jar, Sarg, ZipperHead in particular (forum old timers. sorry I can't remember a few other forum oldtimers names right now), and many of the newer forum members. Jimmy, I hope you stick around as well. The forum has benefited from your stewardship even if you tend to get exited at times (been a while).
I think this site has improved over the last few years, and will continue to improve overall. For those who will continue to be active members - Please remember this site is here to help people. Be careful on vetting out the trolls. It is not uncommon for people to be in crisis when they show up here.
I want to heal as much as I can. To become as normal as I can. I used to hate EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I detroyed stuff around me on an almost daily basis because of my anger and rages. I once destroyed THREE $150 printers in less than one month from going into flash rages. I need to reduce the number of things that piss me off to make it to the next stage. I've healed a lot over the last few years. My PTSD is still a major factor in my life, but not as bad as it used to be. It's still a rollercoaster, but better overall. My flash rage, anxiety and agoraphobia are my biggest problems now.
I'm a spiritual person. I made a promise to myself when I was 13, not to forget what it was like being a kid, having imagination, forgiving those who did wrong to me. I haven't always been able to keep this promise, but I try to hit the reset button when I notice I'm failing. This has set me apart from a lot of "regular" people, even more so here, from people who have seen hell. Even more so from those few who embrace hate and disfunction.
There seems to be a sub-set (mostly gone now) that don't want anybody on this forum unless you carried a gun, shot at people and got shot back at by those people. It's silly to me, but meh, can't change the world. PTSD from serving in the military in a combat zone is like no other PTSD, even with it's variants.
I want to write so much more, but I know many aren't interested in reading it.
Overall this website has helped me a lot over the last couple of years. I want to thank Jar, Sarg, ZipperHead in particular (forum old timers. sorry I can't remember a few other forum oldtimers names right now), and many of the newer forum members. Jimmy, I hope you stick around as well. The forum has benefited from your stewardship even if you tend to get exited at times (been a while).
I think this site has improved over the last few years, and will continue to improve overall. For those who will continue to be active members - Please remember this site is here to help people. Be careful on vetting out the trolls. It is not uncommon for people to be in crisis when they show up here.
