Respect Chat Or Lose It Individually, Part 2

[joeylittle]

Chat appears to have become something other than what it was intended.

If you want support? You can go into chat. Ask for it. Be willing to receive it.

If you want to hang out with friends? Go into chat. Remember that it's an open room - anyone in good standing can pull up a chair and join the conversation.

Does that mean 'let's all be nice'? Not at all. Be respectful. Respectful doesn't mean nice. It means you allow someone their space, and you understand that their space does not infringe on your own.

If there is a member that really gets under your skin? Use the ignore function. And then, Ignore them. Using ignore, seeing that they are there, and then proclaiming that you have them on ignore because they are the number one asshole in the room is the chat-room equivalent of standing on a chair and verbally attacking them.
There's no respect in that.

Chat is not a soapbox.

Chat is not a meet-up. There are plenty of avenues, ways to flirt, and snuggle, and cuddle, and kiss, and do even more, virtually. We aren't one of those avenues.

People can talk about sex. People can take off their chat-room clothes and have a disco food fight, if they want - but there is a difference between having a good time in chat and carrying on a romantic relationship in chat. I don't see how the latter is respectful to the room.

My advice:
A good rule of thumb, always: imagine it's a real room, with real people in it. Think about what makes sense in that venue. Do that.

These are guidelines. The guidelines exist for everyone.

Reminder:

• No suicidal posting. Suicidal ideation is acceptable. If you post a method, and a timeline, you are engaging in suicidal posting.
• No personal attacks. This goes doubly for chat, where it is easier to engage in them because they will vanish into the chat archive. Restrain yourselves.
• No self-promotion or advertising.
• No trigger warnings. There is no official trigger warning policy on this site. If the conversation is upsetting to you, you can ask that it change, or you can leave and go into the forums instead. That is your responsibility. We will not action anyone for engaging in 'triggering' conversation.

Making a secondary account to get around a chat ban will result in the primary account getting either a 7 day or full ban, depending on the infraction.

For more on chat, please read here:
Respect Chat Or Lose It, Individually, Part 3
Administrative - Respect Chat Or Lose It - Individually

 

[joeylittle]

In addition to the above: thank you all for trying the experiment of the /voteban feature.

The idea was to give members more of a say in self-moderation. The reality is, it evolved into a way to say 'I disagree with you being here' - and not always for legitimate reasons.

I've also observed such consistent confusion and complaint about it, that it has become more of a distraction than a tool.

So: no more vote to ban from chat. If rules are being broken in chat, report the member. Do not send a PM: use the report function. You can remind yourself how to do that, here.

Thanks for giving it a go. It's just not right for this community.

 

[hodge]

Great policy and so well stated, Joey. Thank you!!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Now that's the most awesome thread Ive ever seen!

Im rarely in chat but still most awesome posting! Thanks JL!

 

[EveHarrington]

Oh my.

I missed the fraternization in chat?!?

I miss all the fun.

But seriously, good rules. I am kinda glad I missed the bad stuff.

Keep chat fun for all! :)

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I tend to avoid chat unfortunately. Not that I don't enjoy chat rooms, the can be fun. It's when it turns and histories, drama, romances, along with other personality conflicts come into play is when the enjoyment ends. It has also been my experience certain individuals while in chat "run" the room while they are there and cliques become an issue. The conversation rarely has substance.
I am not saying this is what happens in this chat room, I have only stopped in 2x so I really don't know about this chat room specifically. I come to this forum to discuss how to manage through a day, an episode that has varying lengths of time or sometimes just a moment. I try to help and support others and get it when I need it. Chat is too "social" for me and I struggle with social.
Sometimes I wish the were chat sessions where certain topics were presented in advance.
I might find myself in the chat room someday. I never say never but I doubt anytime soon.

 

[Nevermore]

Am the same Alice in wonderland
Sometimes I read it and wonder why some are here!
Yeah I think it wd be great if certain topics were up for discussion in chat - but always seems too personal in there for me. and maybe cliquey?
But I'm avoidant socially so I don't really get it!

 

[Hope123321]

well said joeylittle

 

[Seasounds]

@joeylittle, yes, well done. Thank you.

I tend not to use chat because people as stated above: it often isn't in depth, with multiple people in the chat it can be hard to tell who is responding to whom, and because the chat room has seemed to be a way for people who already know each other to connect.

How would you like to see it used?

 

[Ronin]

it can be hard to tell who is responding to whom,

We must be reading different chat times, then.
The times I'm in, people usually mark quite clearly who they're responding to, either by naming or using @ member format to denote the same.
So I think that's as much about who happens to be chatting, at the time. Sorry you had a confusing experience.

 

[EveHarrington]

@Saetva

I agree that it can be hard to really get into chat. It can be hard to tell who is talking to whom. I've tried so many times to chat but didn't have much luck until this past week. I think it depends on who is in chat and what the topic is. I look to chat as a distraction so I tend to drop in when I don't want to focus so much on PTSD stuff (unless I'm struggling, as I did reach out for help there at one point.) As with anywhere else in life there are people who will welcome you with arms wide open and chat you up and others who are more reserved and not so open. I know it's tough because we all want to be accepted and walking into a room as the newbie is daunting.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Cashew it rolls fast on a phone & i was in there the other night with a member named lostgentlman and some were saying LG & LFS & that I could follow but someone got upset at something, have not a clue what, and was saying just lost...that confused me. Im like what just happened? What did I do?

I believe they were talking to LG but it was rather confusing at the time. So at times it can be if members dont find ways to clearly say whom their speaking to and a lot of members have very long names and being on a phone i used shorten it, like LG or Simply for Simply Simon, JL for joeylittle...but i do try to make sure the room knows with whom im speaking too.

Im rarely in there due to it moving fast, im dyslexic, and on a phone...its more frustrating for me but at times i'll jump in and it seems to suck me and i cant seem to leave lol.

Anyway, thats just an example. You are right, most do state with whom they are speaking to pretty well.