General Rough Day Today

[Steph_F]

Sometimes it’s so hard to know the difference between a bump in a relationship or if PTSD is rearing its ugly head again. **whining**

I can't complain and whine and pout and throw a fit to him...or even really talk calmy about my feelings or go to him for support because it only frustrates him or makes him angry. I can't talk to my family because they do not support our relationship whatsoever. My friends...well, he's very jealous and I don't spend a lot of time with my friends anymore.

Maybe I am pathetic and child-like and maybe he would be better off without me, I don't know. I hope not. It just sucks that he seems to get joy and satisfaction by telling me how disappointed in me he is. All in one breath he tells me that he believes in me, but if I can't get my finances back on track, he will go find someone that can.

 

[Redheaded Stranger]

Don't believe him for a second!

Steph, you are an amazing woman. You are giving and supportive and loving. You are having a rough day and it sounds like he is too. Please don't internalize that because it has nothing to do with you.

I believe in you. And you can get all of the support and love here that we can possibly send to you. But don't you dare take it to heart.

Steph is funny. :laugh:
Steph is generous.
Steph is friendly.
Steph is smart. :geek:
Steph is loving.
Steph is unbelievably supportive.
Steph is awesome! :tup:
Steph is witty.
Steph is caring.
Steph is enthusiastic.
Steph is informed and learns all she can about PTSD and probably everything else. :cool:
Steph is frightfully naive to have ever posted her cell phone number online, though she did it to help a new friend whom she has never actually met. ;)
Steph is too smart to leave her cell number online for too long. :whistling:
Steph is all of the good things that people look for in this life.

Hugs and love to you Steph.

Red

 

[Steph_F]

Awww...you are so sweet to me! Thank you so much!!!

 

[Redheaded Stranger]

I forgot one...

Steph is a perky ray of sunshine.

And don't you forget it!

Red

 

[Steph_F]

Haha! Thank you...I feel like a ray of sun that just can't bust through the rain clouds, but tomorrow will be better! I hope. But thank you again for making me smile! :)

 

[wife of]

Steph you are a phenomenal person,I'm sure its just a ptsd lashout,He's got bigger emotional and mental problems than the ptsd to deal with if he does not see you for the wonderful girl you appear to be,Money is worthless in the grand scheme of things,it comes and it goes,your many qualities must be worth more than gold to him and I'm sure it wont be long til he remembers that.X

 

[Steph_F]

I hope so...I freakin adore that man! :)

 

[NikkiNikki]

Do not abandon your friends because he is a jealous person. PTSD or not, that is not ok. I've done it myself in the past & I have had friends do it to me too. If he decides he wants to just up and be done with you guys (not saying that will happen, just saying) your going to need your friends to be there for you.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Sometimes it’s so hard to know the difference between a bump in a relationship or if PTSD is rearing its ugly head again. **whining**

I can't complain and whine and pout and throw a fit to him...or even really talk calmy about my feelings or go to him for support because it only frustrates him or makes him angry.............

Communication. :( I think it's one of the saddest things is how difficult, even impossible at times, it is to really talk about things with our partners. I find it easier to have conversations with my hubby in the morning. Coz by the time I get home from work at 6pm he's always very tired and finds it harder to concentrate.
A skill I've been aware of recently at work is about connecting with people when they are feeling vulnerable. Feedback I got was that by taking it slowly you get a better outcome. It's not the same as treading on eggshells like when you're afraid to say anything but more about giving it time. Not sure I've explained it properly but would like to hear what other strategies people use.

 

[Mockingbird13]

I can't complain and whine and pout and throw a fit to him...or even really talk calmy about my feelings or go to him for support because it only frustrates him or makes him angry.

This was a tough one for me to deal with as well - sometimes I felt it just wasnt fair - and then I would try to talk to my friends, and thry either didnt get it or didnt understand....I did alot of talking to God, my dog and myself.....I also journaled alot. I often look back in my old journals to see how I has faring a year ago today, and I can see what has improved or just stayed the same.

Steph- for what its worth, you mean alot to a bunch of us. We are here for you grumpy b*tchy mood, or you infamous "perky" self.... we like you for you!!!!!!! Vent away, or sing praises - we are here for you no matter what ! ;)

 

[Steph_F]

Awww...bless your heart! You are such a sweetheart! Thank you! Things are getting better. I dug deep and found the strength to give him space and not be my usual- "what's the matter??what's the matter??" -self. Haha!

I really really appricate this forum and you, my friends, more than you know! Your support is amazing and I never feel like no one understands what it is to love a Vet with PTSD anymore.

I said it before and I'll say it again, this website and the information, encouragement, honesty and friendship has saved my relationship and I think my sanity! ;-) I take everything I learn on here and apply what I can and I am very happy and satisfied with "M" and my relationship, every passing day we grow closer and stronger and more confident in our feelings and in each other.

Thank you again, and thank you from my Soldier as well. :-)

 

[wife of]

Whats the matter
Are you ok
Do you need anything
do you want me to do that.........

all phrases I am sick of hearing myself say,each time I blurt them out I end up thinking "you patronising cow he must be fed up with these phrases,day in ,day out...stfu" and then half an hour or so later i'll be asking one of them again.....Grrrr I guess on those isolation days we just dont know what to say for the best sometimes so we revert to our tried and tested "safe lines" trouble is with too much repetition they just sound trite,yet to just leave them brooding all day and not speak to them would come across as us not giving a hoot.......I for one need some new "safe lines"...