Self harm through pinching...

[Maggiemay]

Ok, after huge self harm urges for days, due to the sensation on insects crawling under the skin of my legs & catastrophysing about still bleeding down there, I given in... *sigh*

To be fair, not serious - I have a history of cutting razor blades, having scars all over my abdomen, arms & legs, but haven't cut in nearly 2 yrs... I have pinched myself repeatedly tho and covered my upper arms in lots of red marks, some even having broken the skin... Mad thing is most were done whilst talking to mate... Urgh!!! I text T and she replied 'stop hurting yourself' to which I replied 'it didn't hurt!' oops... Joys of dissociation! ;) she's not replied & I have since drunk the remaining alcohol in my house = 1/2 bottle of pimms.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Maggiemay. I don't know your history, mine includes childhood sexual abuse. I have a cutting history too and I slipped awhile ago and am still having to make up stories about the new scars on my wrist. Also do it in a dissociative state. Lately I have been calling the sexual abuse hotline and talk to a crisis operator. They've helped me get through some tough times. I found myself thinking today that it will be autumn soon and I can hide my arms and cut again. I completely relate to you. For some reason, I only want to cut my arms. I have tattood my old scars. If you've never had a tattoo, let me tell you, it's really relaxing. I swear it's better than cutting for calm. I know how people can't stop getting them. I have four and need some more for newer scars.

Well, I am sorry that you are so distressed.

 

[Maggiemay]

Thanks for the reply KwanYinGirl ;) Yep, history of sexual abuse *sigh* with New flashbacks resurfacing :( urgh! Having a tatoo = allowing someone to see my scars (I'm covered!!) = biiiiiig no no... Xxx

 

[KwanYingirl]

My nephew is my tattooist and he also has a cutting history. I'm safe with him, and bonus-I get them for free!

 

[Maggiemay]

:) Result! Xxx