So Just What Does Happen If You Get Hospitalized?

[just me here]

I just can't imagine how much my life would be changed by a 2-3 week or more hospitalization, I am wondering if anyone in a similar situation has found it necessary and how it affected your life afterwards.

My Thoughts are darker everyday and even the sessions with my counselor and marriage counselor and psych don't seem to be altering a path towards very ugly places. I know if I shared all of my thoughts with any of them I would be told to go check in to a mental health ward.

But my life goes on, I earn money and pay bills and mow lawns, prune trees and fix cars and manage my home. 2 or 3 or 4 weeks would put me way behind on bills and way behind on my other responsibilities. My job might actually be OK with it, but if gone too long my healthcare would drop and I might not get my old job back.

If it is hospitalization vs. suicide, no matter what I go to where the help is. But trying to decide if just a little time out to get my head clear and ready to go back would be worth the many many costs is not as easy a decision.

Can anyone that is in my position or similar tell us what it was like to go get hospitalized and then go back to their life?

 

[712xx]

This is a good question to ask. I can't answer you -- I didn't have a life before being hospitalized. But, it is a good question to ask, and it shows you have the forsight and ability to stop and think things through and ask for help in the proper context; and most importantly, you are not being impulsive. These are all good signs you have the ability to self-manage. Just because you have thoughts of suicide, doesn't mean you need hospitalization. Not all doctors would force you or even recommend it.

Maybe for a few weeks, instead of taking off, just leave your job early to do some soul searching? Sometime to yourself on your off days to breathe some freash air, and get a change of scenery? Sometimes a new environment is helpful to clear your head, and get you physically away from your stressors. This is really what hospitalization does .. other than people watching you like guard dogs, and giving you all sorts of medications.

 

[Red Feather]

I was recently in the crisis intervention hospital ward, and then in the closed acute psychiatry ward. I was having suicide ideation and felt really unstable. And I told the psychologist that. I said to him that I didnt feel like I was living in reality and that I have been fighting for so long, and before I came to the crisis intervention center, I just said "** it" and gave up. And he responded asking me what that meant, and I said that I wanted to give up on life. They asked me one more time, do you think you can control yourself if you get that urge... and I said " I don't know". And that was it...So I was sent to the Psychiatry Ward.

When I was there I quickly realized that I had to get stable and do everything right and controlled so that I could go home. It wasnt a nice place to be. There were people who couldn't leave. One girl said she had been diagnosed with bipolar and was being kept their for a year. Luckily since I was more or less there on a voluntary basis, the doctors sent me home after a 4 days.

Now I have been getting triggered and upset again and feeling those impulses again, and sometimes I even consider going back there. In german the word is "geschlossene station" that means "closed ward". Patients are not allowed to leave, and you are checked for any sharp objects. But a friend told me that somewhere in the south of Germany there is a hospital and they like to call it the "behütete station" .... that means more like "protected ward" or somehow "cusioned" and "cared for,"

I really like that... it means it is a place you can go if you feel unprotected and would like to protect yourself from yourself.

I would say it really depends on the hospital and on the level of trust you have. The crisis intervention center was much more friendlier and bright... and the nurses were really caring and offered their support. And it was possible for me to come and go as I pleased. It was a big difference to the other place.

I would like to go to a physcho somatic clinic that specialized on trauma. There are several here in Germany. I have to get a on a waiting list and it is complicated but it might help me.

It is always a challenge to make steps to take care of yourself. Especially if the situation is calling on you and making so many demands. I agree with 712xx, you are taking responsibility and reflecting about your situation so that is already a real good sign. I would say go with your own gut feeling what it is that you need most and how can you find ways of communicating this.

All the best wishes for you.

 

[just me here]

thanks, I appreciate the input and reassurances.

I have been a provider for so long. Now the last of the dependant children are out on their own and slowly weaning off of my support. In the next few years I will be responsible only to myself and my wife financially. Maybe it will be a better time to make a decision like this. Right now I have to weigh the consequences of some "time out".

Meanwhile, I would still like to hear from someone that has taken this option and returned to a life of responsibility and consequences.

Nadia, I can imagine the feeling of "what have I done?" and the desire to get back out ASAP, but I don't think thats the type of place I would end up, the places within the health maintenance organisation I belong to are more comfortable and are really just a place where meds are closely monitored and therapy is more or less constant for predetermined amounts of time. After a week or ten days I can leave unless i have done something that has set off the suicide alarms or the like. After a month or so, the move to a state hospital is mandatory and off I go to the place you don't come home from until they say you can go.

Meanwhile, my lawn is growing, my house needs maintenance, all the cars need oil and filters and my dogs have forgotten me. That is sometimes the only thing that keeps me from going somewhere and taking a much needed supervised rest. I fear the changes to my life that I could not restore to the eway they were before.

Obviously, even a nasty aftermath beats the total lack of a future that a suicide brings. I guess I have to decide if I can hang on and do this while working and dealing with people and family and a job, or if taking a time out would help to speed the process of recovery.

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

Dear Just me,

Maybe call the available options in your area to see what all your options are and what the different places offer. Many cities have a mental clinic for short term stay. The one I went to in California had a program for short term of 7 days. Perhaps a shorter stay like that would be a better option for you. You can receive the rest, counseling, group therapy, and psychiatric help and meds needed. Seven days would probably make a huge difference for you, and could possibly be manageable with all your responsibility. Do you have anybody you can trust to check-in on your house, kids, animals and things while your away for a week?

And you can admit yourself more than once. ( check with their rules) So perhaps you could repeat the 7 day in-patient stay the following month.

Hope this helps and good luck

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

If you have not seen this thread already, I would check this out.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/for-people-who-are-thinking-of-going-to-a-psychiatric-hospital.21360/[/DLMURL]

Take care.

 

[heidi]

You should go for it. Give yourself everything that you need. Go to a nice one.
If your finances can manage that.

 

[Zef]

You might also check into places that offer partial hospitalization or outpatient care. These are generally intensive programs held during the day where you go home during the evening and overnight. They focus on giving you skills to get through your current crisis and to use going forward.

Major hospitals in your area would be the place to look. Insurance generally prefer to work with them. My experience with one was extremely positive and I would be in a much worse place now if I hadn't have gone.

 

[mamachick]

Ayesha recomended a great thread. I think there are many levels of hospitalization, and depending where you live. I would check out what is available and what your insurance allows. I would love a 30 day intensive ptsd program that is not a lock up.

Where I live, there is just one facility. There is no outdoor area, there is no exercise area. Smoking and caffein is not allowed. Meals are horrible. During the night, someone shines the light in your face every 15 minutes and resets the alarm. (they have to monitor how you are sleeping) The beds are about 60 years old and like cots. The groups are mandatory but very generic. The schedule is much like Ayesha described on the other thread-it makes for a long day.

There is a tv in the group room where meetings are held, but all the furniture reak of urine. Every area including room is monitored by camera's except for the bathroom. You are not to question what medication the dr orders or you are considered difficult.

There is a second section for more critical folks and the ward is just seperated by swinging double doors. At times, from the more critical section, patients will be locked up and screaming and the sound is horrifying. Sometimes they will be strapped to a chair near the nurses station and hollering and screaming. If someone on the main section starts behaving inappropriate-they are taken to the other side. Some of drugged up or drunk, having a psychotic episode, even from Altzheimers.

Where I live, I would advise others to evaluate every other option available before making the decision to check in. It is really just a stabilization unit and not intended for anything else. There is no real therapy, no individual therapy. The groups are more about 20 people being asked to name a coping skill-this takes an hour, or a goal for the day, or describe your feelings today. Most of the staff are very caring, a few are not so nice.

As someone else said, most that get in there spend there day answering everything right and hoping the nazi shrink will spring them today. It will make you forget there is anything wrong at home though.

 

[mamachick]

just me here-you sound like a person who stays very busy and is high energy, which makes me wonder how a slow pace stay would effect you. Is it possible to have maybe 2 therapy appointments a week and do a couple of groups in the evening. Sometimes groups can be helpful even if they do not necessarily pertain to you, such as co-dependency, alanon, acoa, even aa. I can see where such groups would be as beneficial as things such as goal groups in the hospital.

I dont know your situation, but even making some other changes at home that might allow you healing. If you are feeling really suicidal, there is no safe option like hospitalization.

 

[just me here]

thanks everyone. I am defintely suicidal at times lately but I know I won't do it, not now. I want to leave this situation and let some things settle out during my absence, and if I could spend that time gaining ground against my mental illness thats a very enticing possibility.

On the other hand, a few weeks of hell coupled with my wife and kids seeing me as someone that needs to be locked up in a place like some have described sounds like a loss all around.

I am considering planning a 2 or 3 week fishing vacation maybe within 100 miles of home so I can get visitors on wekends and give everyone the distance they need at the same time, I don't know. All I know is I cannoy continue on like this with the people in my life acting like this.

thanks to everyone.

 

[heidi]

How are you doing these days?