Suicide the ultimate avoidance

[osiris]

Just the fear.

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free. (Aristotle)
Profile pic will self destruct later and return to my usual ;)

 

[Ronin]

Ooh, self destruct fruits ;)

Self destruct fruits on this site are my most favorite things.

 

[osiris]

One positive that has come out of all the hell these last few days is I am now so exhausted I cannot do anything other than lie down and close my eyes. I still feel like I’m dying and tomorrow looms like a giant spectre but I’m all out of fight.
Still here. Stubborn as f*ck.

 

[Ronin]

Stubborn as f*ck is good ;)

I don't mean to be pushy but eating (food.) more could seriously help the exhaustion.

Like no wonder you're suicidal days in and out on no sleep and with no food and likely dehydrated and still sick (your intro thread) and subject to I don't even know what local weather & other factors you have...

That's heckuva lot physical stress on already maxed out body that could be helped with simple, even if hard to do, fixes.

Like food & hydration.
(Look who's talking :D I mess mine, still. I guess might mean it's okay to be a wee bit of a wreck... not shameful.)

 

[osiris]

Stubborn as f*ck is good ;)

Its my best quality ;)

Like no wonder you're suicidal days in and out on no sleep and with no food and likely dehydrated and still sick (your intro thread)

I’m ok at staying hydrated (the good kind) ;) Sick feeling from being anxious for sure.

(Look who's talking :D I mess mine, still. I guess might mean it's okay to be a wee bit of a wreck... not shameful.)

:roflmao:

I know, I know.
I have lost 16 pounds in the last 3 weeks which is a bit shit (ok a lot shit).
I think the stuff coming up in therapy has made me totally lose my ability to eat anything proper for now though. But hey, we have agreed stubborn as f*ck is good, and I have a buddy who challenged and got me to eat today. Maybe there *is* hope....

 

[osiris]

Panic.
Sweats.
Someone connected to the bully just shouted at me and told me to grow up in front of everyone.
Meeting about to start and I am destroyed.
This is not a life.

 

[bellbird]

Some parts of life are more about keeping afloat than they are about swimming.
Maybe they don't feel like living, when we compare ourselves keeping afloat to others that are swimming along, but it's just as important. Because it's only through the effort of staying afloat that we can get back to swimming along again too.

The bully and that connected person are turds.

You've so got this.
Breathing.
Ground down through your feet.
Remind yourself this is 2020.
Remind yourself you've got a whole lot of us all 'round the world (I come from the land of hobbits) rooting for you.

 

[osiris]

Thanks @bellbird.
Had a coffee and am trying to distract myself.

 

[bellbird]

Good on ya :hug: :hug:

 

[osiris]

What if I just ran away right now? Left and never came back?

 

[Ronin]

Quitting toxic jobs = Option.

Leaving behind whole life & built up securities = Nah.

Stay alive & well and fight them f*cktards *that* way. :sneaky:

 

[osiris]

It was so bad.
Totally lost it in my head.