Childhood The hearing yesterday (stressor discussion, not political discussion)

[DharmaGirl]

One of the comments I heard was that she probably slept around. So? That doesn't mean she consents to attempted rape.

 

[Stephani8o]

I live in a very conservative state. My Facebook newsfeed is full of comments that I have to let roll off my back. It's not the time or place to argue my point or share my experience. Avoid avoid avoid

 

[Friday]

One of the comments I heard was that she probably slept around. So? That doesn't mean she consents to attempted rape.

No lie.

It’s like, she probably eats chocolate, too.

And that relates, how?

:sneaky: On more than a few occasions when someone has come up with that kind of bullshit I pick something near and dear to them and declare that she definitely deserved to be raped, because anyone who wears red soled shoes, volunteers as a soccer coach for their kids, etc. clearly deserves to be raped.

And I do it in an ‘I agree completely!’ tone & facial expression that makes it hit them where they live even harder, because they’re already agreeing with me (because we’re in agreement! We’re dishing!) rather than getting defensive before they’ve heard me, because they’re all set for an argument, and digging in harder.

But I like getting people personally invested in their own ridiculousness.

It “works” about 2/3s of the time. If we define work as makes them stop, think, and change their mind.

Which is mostly less because of my cunning plan, and far more because they don’t even realize what they’re saying Is “People who do XYZ deserve to be raped.” They think they’re saying it puts them at a higher risk, 9 times out of 10, rather than victim blaming. It takes putting the shoe on the other foot to see that they’re not actually talking about risk, but about fault. Once that clicks, you can SEE the lightbulb turn on.

These are good people, by and large, it’s just a very human Defense Mechanism to look for something someone else does, that you don’t, that makes you “safe” from Terrible Thing! happening to you, like it did to them.

 

[Skywatcher]

I believe her. I have been so triggered by these events and people’s responses. Been in a bit of an isolation. I was worried about how my T would respond to my email because I know that she is republican (due to my early on cyber investigation) and her husband is in politics, but her response was supportive and kind.

I try to stay off Facebook, but it is hard to do. I try to focus on the positives.

 

[DharmaGirl]

They are also posting that she has a go fund me account, and is "being paid" to do this. She didn't start the account. So I posted Kavanaugh's go fund me page, lol.

 

[Skywatcher]

Today my T and coincidentally, my friend’s T across the country told both of us that the reason we are so triggered is due to the extreme control personalities on both sides of the senate. Add that to all of the victim triggers and not believing, explains a lot.

 

[hithere]

Today my T and coincidentally, my friend’s T across the country told both of us that the reason we are so triggered is due to the extreme control personalities on both sides of the senate. Add that to all of the victim triggers and not believing, explains a lot.

Thank you. I don't know why the issue that people want to make it political sets me off. I told me T yesterday that I had a back there moment all day on thursday and friday because the dynamic of having no one to talk to about it was the same as the original event. My t said, "oh are all your friends on the Right?" I FREAKED out -- it frustrated me to the core--I said "it's not political!" the rest of my session was me shut down and my brain went completely blank. I couldn't even talk or even THINK, nothing was in my skull working. A big waste of money and a BIG waste of my time. The only thing my T said was they had spoken to a woman in the morning who was triggered by the hearings, too, but her's was much more violent. I couldn't even ask what the hell that meant?

 

[Muttly]

@hithere that sounds like an awful session. I'm sorry.

I'm not sure why it's triggering me so badly. Well, that's not completely true. One of the things she referenced was a huge trigger to me. And then, that man... ugh. And I keep seeking out the coverage even though I know that's doing me no good.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I am triggered too. Five, count them, five nightmares and waking up screaming five times in one night. I am triggered because I was treated badly by police when I reported my attempted rape, and another time when I reported DV. I was treated badly during an investigation into a person I used to be engaged to, when he was going to be appointed to a state position. The investigator was great, but the people who reported to her "didn't remember", said it wasn't true, it couldn't have happened. Yeah right. I was so afraid of retaliation, and of someone killing me, but it never became public, thank God. It happened all the time in the 80s and women were told to deal with it.

 

[Skywatcher]

Saw Trump’s recent rally speech online and he mocked Ford’s victim statement. Then I see the whole crowd laughing. Laughing that she couldn’t remember where it happened, but only had one beer. Laughing about her not knowing how she got home. Women laughing. Mocking the way memory stores trauma. I felt laughed at. By those rally people.

 

[EveHarrington]

Saw Trump’s recent rally speech online and he mocked Ford’s victim statement. Then I see the whole crowd laughing. Laughing that she couldn’t remember where it happened, but only had one beer. Laughing about her not knowing how she got home. Women laughing. Mocking the way memory stores trauma. I felt laughed at. By those rally people.

I saw the beginning of it and had to walk out of the room.

It’s sickening how our pressure eats women. It’s even sicker that people blindly support him.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I can't wait until the buffoon is gone. At least I hope he will be gone.