Therapist Reaction When Telling Them Something Hard

[Richie]

is this a one off or have you noticed a change which has remained consistent? I am just thinking that it is possible that your therapist was simply having a bad day. It happens to everybody and while its true that you should leave your private life outside work, it is really not that easy in practice.
I may be wrong but it does seem like a possibility

 

[Cleo6]

She's been like it for 2 sessions so a month now

 

[Leighlee87]

Don't worry too much. Self-harm is really common with PTSD, so I don't think she will be too surprised by it. Not admitting to things is also, I'm pretty sure the absolute norm. The things you are ashamed of or run from the most, are the very things you will keep private until a certain level of trust has been built. Another thing commonly done by people with attachment disorders is to push away once vunerable...so everything you are doing is normal and honestly expected. This likely, is not at all her first rodeo. I've had a few things that I planned to admit and were really, really hard. Sometimes it took several attempts to get it out. And once mentioned, I have refused to go back and touch and she hasn't pushed me to go there. I just needed her to know that these things were there and happened.

As far as self-harm goes, my therapist asked me about it on our first session, I lied, she called me on the lie and then said she knew I self-harm by the way I was playing with the hairband on my wrist. wtf?! I was literally froze. In my head I was like, "Oh shit, what the hell else do you know that I have not told you? I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this." The answer: she knows A LOT. I never attempted to lie again though--I just refuse to respond when I don't like the question. lol.

 

[Richie]

I just cant see a connection between a therapist frowning and the patient. I can imagine frowning at the thought of the traumatic event or the person who caused it. I just cant see any reason to frown at a patient. It just does not make sense so it has to be something else.

 

[cleo6]

My t never has asked me about abuse or self harm so I just never brought it up, managed to avoid it or change the topic and she's commented a few times about me deflecting. the session where I gave her the letter she said she had read through all her notes and has seen big gaps but then she she said that at some point she realised I wasn't ready to talk about some stuff so she left it. I fidget a lot in therapy especially talking about stuff that's hard. I also use to stare at her large elephant ornament but would often the end up talking then not remembering whole conversations until I would come out of it myself or she would say something and hearing her would make me jump. Now I look at my hands and that hasn't happened since. She never comments on any of that though but I'm glad she doesn't as I got self concious about how much I would play with my sleeves and made myself stop for a while but sometimes I just can't and end up doing it. I prefer that than forgetting whole conversations as then I start feeling on edge.

Maybe this whole thing of her feeling distant is just in my head I don't want to start with someone new to then feel the same thing when i tell the new one. I just want to feel the attachment with her again even though it made the gaps feel long and it would hurt knowing that people get to see her weekly or her family having her all the time, it hurts so much more at the moment

 

[Richie]

have you considered bringing this up with her? i can only speculate on what could be going on which probably isnt much use unfortunately. i certainly wouldnt want any patient feeling uncomfortable about me in a session. i cant fix the problem if i dont know about it though

 

[cleo6]

I don't know i see her this week then won't see her til Jan I don't want to have that gap with things awkward between us I just hope this session will be better. I'm rubbish at talking about feelings so it would probably come out all wrong and I don't want to upset her or have her judge me for it

 

[Riot]

My doc is very compassionate. On a few occasions he's gotten a bit weepy while holding all of those emotions for me. He is a wonderfully effective psychotherapist and tends to adapt right along with me.