Things getting bad fast

[mylunareclipse]

I think things are taking a nose dive quickly.
Have too many suicidal thoughts day after day hour after hour. I try to do extra things like yoga running walking being in nature. But nothing seems to help. I am thrown in flashbacks and dissociation. Pain overtaking my body and body parts that I am too ashamed to share with anyone. Today I took my scarf and trying to hang in there for a bit. I knew I would be too chicken in the end to end it. When I run out of breath the instinct to survive kicks in.... I am so tired. I don’t know what to do... I have been seeing a new therapist for six months. He is not a trauma therapist and I think he is pushing me too hard too fast. I don’t think he understands how even innocuous conversations throw me in a loop afterwards. I am in very adult state when I see him sometimes but then the week is a mess...I am so tired...

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, I am so sorry that you’re struggling. :hug:

Are you taking any medications right now?

 

[mylunareclipse]

Thank you for your response. Yes I am on two antidepressants. I think they help sometimes...but maybe I need something different? Haven’t seen a psychiatrist in over a year.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think if you’re still having strong suicidal thoughts, that may be an indicator that your meds aren’t working well for you. Can you reach out to your psychiatrist?