General Things To Know When Dealing With PTSD (As a Carer)

[aeb7311]

I agree, I would just like to add some points from my experience. The only experience of PTSD i have is with my fiance, so these are some things I have learnt about him- I don't know if they are normal for PTSD, but this is what he exhibits.

1) When stress levels are high, the smallest things can tip him over the edge
2) From my experience, my sufferer finds it really hard to trust people- he keeps people at arms length so they can't let him down or hurt him
3) My sufferer can't forgive people easily when they don't live up to his very high expectations. He can't understand why his high expectations are 'wrong'. But he can't see that it is ok to expect a lot of people, but people make mistakes, and those mistakes are not a personal attack on him.
4) Whenever things go wrong, he goes back over other things in the distant past that have also gone wrong.
5) He makes very broad generalisations about things (eg. everyone just keeps letting me down, everytime things are going well something bad happens to me), but when I ask for examples he can rarely think of more than a couple.

I hope these things are what this thread is for, and not too specific.

 

[kaydee]

mmmm yes I would agree with aeb7311 and would add that

- broad generalizations can become over exaggerations
- trying to point out a similar thing they have done becomes a "personal attack"
- Short term memory totally disappears in times of extreme stress (usually bad stress)

 

[Meena]

Being new to all this, I need as much information as possible and this was very helpful. What kind of things can I say to the PTSD sufferer when I do see him (which is not very often since he's withdrawn from us). I want to help and not say anything to hurt the situation. So I need to know if there's anything that I can say to be helpful.

 

[worththefight]

IM new to the whole PTSD what do I do when he gets mad do I just let him vent

 

[Nicolette]

Hi Worththefight and welcome to the forum. Great name.

Please explain getting mad. We all get mad sometimes and in my experience the best thing to do is leave a sufferer alone. What I question is how is he with you when he gets mad. Is he taking his anger out on you or just venting?

 

[Nicolette]

Here are another couple of valuable points from a shy member:

-If intimacy is part of the sufferer problem, let him/her know that it is OK to stop at any time.

-Consistency can help the sufferer to cope with everyday activities.

 

[pebbels]

Hi Nicolette, excellent thread and vital valid points, Frankie, you also have some informative valuable advice, (i wish i had found this site when my ex was diagnosed
as it is so awesome and it would have helped us heaps but alas too late for us but it is still helping me) I found that WORDS and TONE was a big thing with my ex partner.

 

[Frankie]

Hi pebbels,

Yes, all points made here are very valid and great advise has been given ! While in my relationship, with my now exboyfriend, I found all this info very helpful !

Take care pebbels !

Frankie

 

[pebbels]

Hi Frankie and thankyou, i will, you too take care.:hello:

 

[wildflower]

Once again, WOW!!! You are all so helpful in these posts. I have learned so much in one day from this site, than I have in the past 2 months reading different websites about the actual disorder. The giving the sufferer space comment is something I am really working on. I find myself just wanting to text out of the blue with a simple, "thinking of you" or "hope you are having a great day". I did not realize this was a no-no in their world. Thank you for sharing this all the other list items with.

 

[Nicolette]

This was posted in another thread but I think it has some value here as a really good suggestion for dealing with a sufferer and their mindset. This was said by Desperate to her husband.

PTSD is not your fault. But at some point, if you refuse to address the problem and at least TRY to do something about it, then it becomes your fault. And I can't be expected to sit around and wait while you feel sorry for yourself instead of fixing the problem.

 

[peachykehn]

This has been so helpful and insightful!