Too Much

[shimmerz]

Bad weather sounds like a good excuse to back out of that is what you are thinking of doing. Everyone would understand and it would really be sensible too.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

Could the "doctor" be passing blame onto you because they are at fault and because of the incorrect treatment plan has caused you more injury. She may be realising she or one of her colleagues could be legally culpable and at risk of (quite rightly) being sued. So the mentally ill person with history of abuse is pushed and verbally attacked and shamed maybe she'll be manipulated into letting it go if she feels at fault. Could it be that? Disgusting behaviour in any case especially from a doctor.

 

[Justmehere]

Yeah. I canceled. They thought I was slightly crazy to try to go. Cue weird social anxiety. My brain is torturing me.

I used to have this as a print out. I've read it many times and I'm still here. So here it is it's just short and did help. Even if it is the tiny thimble sized amount that was the difference between despair and a glimmer of hope. Suicide: Read This First

Thank you for this link. I have read this three times today. The third time, about an hour ago. something shifted. I read it through my tears. It talked about posting plans for 24 hours. So I made a plan for 24 hours. It's like the adult me came back online a bit in reading the planning to wait 24 hours part. I think it gave myself permission to have the thoughts and permission to be where I am, and not act. I don't know. I am not quite sure about it except it was grounding. Thank you!

 

[scout86]

Your medical situation sounds like a job for the Mayo Clinic. Or some other place that's equally 'can do', patient oriented, and works as a team, not a collection of individuals. There aren't a ton of things where there are literally no options, but there are a lot of doctors who give up too easily. I know finding the right medical professionals is hard, I'm not minimizing that. Just saying I can't help but believe they're out there. (And I'm kind of serious about Mayo. If they can handle a prince from Dubai, they can handle a princess from where you're from! :hug:)

 

[Justmehere]

I have actually been trying to get into Mayo for the underlying (and medically more serious but less triggering) genetic condition and they sadly don't take my insurance.

I have been seen at an orthopedic clinic that is world renown - they work with Olympians (and the elderly...) and they were the only ones initially promising full return to all sports. I'm not that big of an athlete - I don't compete, it just keeps me more sane.

Now other docs are oddly intimidated to give a second opinion and tell me just to go back to this group... I did schedule with an orthopedist in another city and I plan to mark out the clinics name on the MRI record in hopes they can perhaps take a new look at it without being weird. Maybe they will be able to be more hopeful.

I had what should have been the best orthopedic team around and they still missed an apparently clear problem according to my PCP and that is reason #5,689 my primary care doc blamed me for the misdiagnosis. I must have annoyed them so much and been so difficult they just couldn't do it right.

But to tell me I can't swim again? Maybe that's garbage. Maybe I need the doc who is used to paraolympians... I mean worse case senario, let's tie that leg to a bouy and the rest of me can swim dragging it with me.

 

[scout86]

I really hate that insurance companies have so much control over stuff!

 

[Deleted member 541]

@scout86 I agree, the freaking insurance companies rule the freaking medical world. ASSHOLES!!!

@Justmehere second, third and if needed, a fourth opinion. If all of them agree that you shouldn't swim, then ok, but until then try not to freak out over one dr saying that you can't. I know that to hear those words, it must have sent you into a world of shit. Its only 1 dr, and they aren't always right.

I've had Carpel Tunnel for 15 yrs, and my neurologist insists that my right hand is worse than my left, as he hooks me up to this freaking matching that ZAPS me and hurts like hell. I've argued with him in the past that it's my LEFT hand that bothers me the most, but he dismisses that completely.... GOD complex anyone!!! He's a bit weird too.

I finally had enough, and sought out a second opinion. I saw a hand specialist. It was painless, Dr told me that my LEFT hand really was worse than my right and that I really should think about having the surgery. My surgery is scheduled for Jan 3rd. I will do the right hand in Sept.

Drs don't know everything, most of them THINK they do, but they don't. They are only human and they make mistakes just like all humans do.

Try to stay in the middle when thinking about all of this. Don't get depressed yet, and don't get too over excited. Information is your best friend at this point.. The more information that you can gather about your condition the better equipped you will be to handle the outcome, be it good or bad!

I suggest finding out as much as you can, and ask as many questions as you can. Second opinions too.....

 

[ButterflyBean]

@Justmehere - keep breathing and posting; we are all listening! Did you get a hold of your therapist? Can you call or email her? Break the 24 hours down if you need to; second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour. Just keep breathing. We are here for you! I am here for you!

 

[hodge]

Oh, @Justmehere! I am so sorry I am only seeing this thread now. I hope and pray you are in a better place now. I'm sending you massive :hug:s

 

[Justmehere]

I emailed the physical therapist my plan to tie my leg to a pool bouy. She already emailed me to tell me not to do that and tie both legs. Wtf. No. Just stop. They are all fired. I can't stop crying why don't these people get it?! I can't breathe. I told her I the whole point was to feel men Ally better and I can't do this don't walk don't do anything and we have no plan for improvement but doing the same old same old which has...

I can't I'm freaking drowning and these doctors don't get it!

 

[hodge]

Don't tie either leg to a pool buoy! Yes, fire them, but find better pros. Breathe, honey and hug your dog.

 

[hodge]

Hold on to her for dear life. She is happy to be there for you.