Trauma Diary: How Did You Decide?

[lostforgottensoul]

So I'm asking, do you have a trauma diary? Why or why not? How did you decide to start? How do you decide what to write about (if you feel like sharing your personal process)? Do you write about what happened in the past, or what is going on in the present (or both?) Do you write about the details of past trauma? What benefits do you feel you get from writing in your diary? Are there any drawbacks? And most importantly, how did you decide on a title???

There was a recent thread about this.

Personally, I also shared a TON of info in my early threads. Very graphic info. It was stuff I NEEDED to share but, I think, it was a heap of info many struggled with.

Anyway, many people advised I should start a diary and put that info there. I also didn't want to start one. Mostly because I felt diary meant private (which isn't the case in Member Diaries) and I wanted the replies. I wanted people to counter my thoughts. That's what helped me.

I decided to from the urging. The title "Upside Down" came from a post a wise person posted about the man that wore upside down glasses: Experiments show we quickly adjust to seeing everything upside-down and it really spoke to how I saw things, Upside Down. So that's what I titled it.

I started it with my entire past from start to finish as I couldn't figure out what to post to start it and my therapist wanted me to write it out start to finish anyway. It does have many holes but it is the most detailed written account of my past with the least holes that exists. I started a thread pointing to it as I wanted replies, I got replies and replied to them etc. It became what it is today, a place where I can express anything and everything. I post about my day, my thoughts, my issues, things I am trying to work out, therapy sessions to reflect on, and right now each day of training my dog. I thought it was weird of me to post of that only now but there are some finding it intresting.

See, there are many that read diaries and reply to them. If you don't want replies just say so in your post. Otherwise you do get replies. It is where I post things that aren't true questions as a thread would be. That don't have a specific question to ask.

Anyway, that's me and my diary. The good thing about diaries here is they are what you want them to be. It is also in Member Diaries as that area isn't searchable by search engines and my family can't search it down.

 

[digger]

I think I would be okay with the premium one that is by invitation only.

The premium member diary is a private one - you can't invite anyone to read it. The only people who can read it are yourself and admin (joeylittle)

The other two diaries available here are

• Trauma Diaries - these are public, can be viewed by both guests and members and content can found in search engines
• Trauma Diaries (members) - these can only be viewed by members and are not accessed by search engines

Personally, having a diary here has been really helpful for me. I use it mostly for day to day stuff and for processing the work I'm doing with my therapist.
I find it much easier than keeping a paper journal.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

There was a recent thread about this.

Personally, I also shared a TON of info in my early th...

Thanks, LFS, that is a lot of good information, and very helpful. I appreciate it!

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Thanks, @digger, for clarifying the premium trauma diary. I think, in that case, I would probably just do one members-only diary and leave it at that. I do a fair bit of writing in my art journal, and I think I could probably only manage one paper journal and one online journal at the same time! Thanks so much for your reply.

 

[Bristol]

So, I have been reluctant to start a trauma diary. I already feel like I share and reveal a go...

Id read your's Lola, you know how much i use mine. I like it because i can go to it on my phone in situations that i couldnt physically pull out a journal but you have to do whatever works best for you :)

 

[Nepheli]

I wish i was able to start a diary. i wish i could contribute to threads and support others. But i never will. why should i burden people with my mediocre english? So, once more i am an outsider as i always have been in my life. In my country there are only two depression forums of low educational standards and apart from very few psychiatrists and therapists i doubt whether the millions of actual ptsd sufferers have ever heard of such a diagnosis.
However i visit this forum daily wich has been extremely helpful to me. i read most of the posts, i identify with quite a few people, i feel for so many others and i, often times think of the replies i would have posted.
So, Lola, that is another unusual reason why a member wouldn't start a thread! lol!

 

[Nepheli]

I was meaning "wouldn't start a diary"

 

[Panda Bear]

@Lola Nocheprieta

It's okay if my emails became part of my medical record. It was all stuff that needed to come out one way or another. It's all related to why I was there in the first place. They started as a means for me help get out my trauma. In the end, it didn't matter what I emailed, I didn't care if they became part of my record.

As I wrap up my work the end of next month, T will be returning all my emails to me.

 

[Leighlee87]

I just started one, so.... Here's my take and personal experience. First, I write A LOT, especially for myself and in a private journal. If I don't have a journal, I'll grab scrap pieces of paper and throw it away when I finish. I just need space to articulate my inner experience and everything that is going on in my head. Everything usually comes out so jumbled, so I need a place to spread it all out, think it through, analyze it, and re-assimilate it. I'm a very visual person, so this may be part of my reason for needed to write it out. I draw a lot to express the things that I can't put into words.

Deciding to do an online diary was done for a couple reasons. #1) It does not take the place of my private journal. I still write a lot there--largely the same type stuff that ends up in my online diary, but also the things I don't necessarily want to share. Some things are too private. Some things I just have to sort through multiple times, and therefore make it in both my online and private journal. Some things are about my day to day issues, problems at home, struggles with my kids or students--those things stay private. #2). An online journal allows me the opportunity to write wherever and whenever I want a bit more discretely (the person sitting next to me won't know--and is beneficial when I feel like I'm overwhelmed by all of my own thoughts and need to purge it out just to function). #3) This is one of the few places I feel like I remain anonymous and yet heard by people who can actually relate. I write and answer to posts, and it helps a bit. But to have one of those places to purge my emotions and have others read back and relate, or offer advise and support, just seems to be more personal and therapeutic.

I think the decision to create a journal is a personal one, and what works for some doesn't work for others. If you write a lot, or need to feel connected to others where you are not now, I think a trauma diary is beneficial. If you are uncomfortable sharing, then don't pressure yourself to make one. If you hate writing, it's probably not worth doing. If you suspect it might be more harmful than beneficial (either in general or just at this particular point), then hold off. If you are still interested, but wary, then maybe try it out and start off writing about small things. My journal doesn't yet describe what exactly took place to create my ptsd. Those who go there and read it, won't see that big picture. But they do get small glimpses into my past, because I write about them as I attempt to process through it in my private therapy sessions. I don't feel pressured to divulge information. If there are things I want to hold back, those writings go somewhere else.

 

[leelee]

No, I have not started a diary. I had a very bad experiece with a diary once.....so no. I did go to a T and she told me I should write a book about my life, even though I just skimmed the surface with her. Makes me wonder if she knew the whole story, would she had suggested to make a movie instead lol. That was the last T I went to. I have been reading these posts for about a year and this month decided to join and reply. The post I find in this forum helps alot and helps me reliaze that Im not the only one who is/has gone through this. But thats me, eveyone is differnet. Some like to keep a diary.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Id read your's Lola, you know how much i use mine. I like it because i can go to it on my phone in...

Awww, thanks, Bristol! I'm pretty sure i'm going to start one soon, so, keep an eye out. :hug:

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

why should i burden people with my mediocre english? So, once more i am an outsider as i always have been in my life. I

Oh, Nepheli, please don't let that stop you! There are so many people from all different countries here, it is even a rule not to correct anyone's English or grammar! That is not what this site is about; you are not an outsider here. You sound just fine to me, anyway. People here want to help, want to connect, so you will find a lot of support here. But no pressure. Maybe start with replying to threads, like you did mine, and I appreciate that. Maybe you will eventually want to post your own thread, or maybe you already have. You don't have to start a diary, but please, please don't let the fact that English is not your first language stop you if you want to!

Good luck to you, Nepheli! Gentle hugs if you accept them.