Relationship Trying To Make Sense Of A Few Small Things...

[xerois1337]

Ok. I posted a thread a little earlier that was... lengthy to say the least...
I find myself awake searching online... trying to understand a few small things.
Isolation is a common thing... I've experienced it from my vet before. Just... never this extreme.
I am not sure how to tell the difference between possible isolation... and completely just.. gone.

Facts:
*He says he still loves me and cares about me. He just doesn't want a relationship with me or anyone else. Doesn't want friends. Doesn't want to be part of anything.. doesn't want anyone.
*I still have ALL of his stuff. All of it. Like he has a few changes of clothes with him.... I have EVERYTHING else. All his clothes, his personal stuff, keepsakes, legal paperwork... everything he owns pretty much. He had threatened to come get his stuff... has went on and on about getting it... makes plans... never shows up.
*I still have his dog. He clarified that he wants his dog... landlord says he can have her, just hasn't came and got her. And he loves his dog...
*His mail is still coming to our house... even new mail from his new insurance policy and his new bank account... All still coming to me. And I checked... changing the addresses on these things is very simple.
*His check from his job is getting direct deposited into our joint checking account... he gets it out...but still... He has a new bank account... why even let me see how much he makes... why not move it to his own account....
*We are broken up... he moved out. Got a room in a house with an older acquaintance that he is renting. He has even signed a lease... so he is there for a while... obviously.
*We aren't talking unless it's "important" says he has nothing to talk to me about.
*Repeats over and over we are not together, you may as well accept that... And I do... I get it...
I just don't know if this might be temporary... or if this is forever.
I can't understand why he is leaving so much unfinished business if he is done forever...
He won't come out and say that either... he never says we are never getting back together or anything like that... so? I have no idea what to think. Do I force him to come get his things? I don't want to, I want him to do what he needs... I want to let him make his own decisions. I wish I could somehow help... but I am at a loss.

 

[xerois1337]

I failed to mention it in this thread.. But he does have PTSD he has been diagnosed. He even receives disability from the military because of it. He was seeking therapy but hasn't since we have been together. He has been medicated but won't stick to any medications. He doesn't have many friends... doesn't really like social situations often. He is a lone wolf sort of person. When it comes to me and him, we did everything together. Eat, sleep, work, shower, you name it. We were happy. Always together. Working as a team. When he had episodes in the past.. he dealt with them in his own way... nothing has ever been this extreme before. He has never acted like this. I love him. We were so good.... and now? It's like he died on me. I am lost.

 

[xerois1337]

As of today... our phones are turned off from lack of payment...
He had more than enough money to pay them, and I figure if for some reason he didn't, that he would contact me to pay it for him or half or whatever..
We both have no phone. Yet I find out today that a few weeks ago he added more minutes to the plan because I went over, yet, he had demanded I take my phone off the bill a month ago, so why add more minutes instead of having me pay the fees for the overages when I took my phone off. He and I need to be able to contact each other for the sake of the baby, and to keep him updated like he asked me to, I would have to have his number so, him just getting a prepaid instead of paying the bill doesn't make much sense. Plus if we can't contact each other how will he get his stuff?? So confused.

 

[xerois1337]

The newest update is that... his truck payment is 17 days late... the notice came in the mail yesterday. He had more than enough to pay it... and the phones too... and he paid neither. He has ran into some of our friends who asked him to hang out, he was non commital, but made sure to tell him his number was the same... yet our phones are both turned off... I haven't heard a peep from him since LAST friday (over a week ago) when he demanded to come get his things and demanded I keep him updated about the pregnancy... but we have no phones.. so?? I don't even know. It's like he has totally stopped taking responsibility for anything... even things that don't involve me. I don't understand... is this NORMAL???

(not normal normal... like is lack of ability to deal with anything "typical")

 

[Sweetpea76]

It sounds like he can't cope with anything at all. These may help you understand some things.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/stressor-vs-trigger-what-is-a-trigger.13912/