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Warning Signs Of Suicide

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When i told my brother I was thinking of killing myself he laughed at me. I just feel so horrible about that.

He also tried to kill me when i was young.
Oh, you have a heartless family like mine. I'm so sorry. I feel your pain mate, please be strong, I'm trying. xx

My teacher was just telling me that today :\ I was to nervous to answer his questions tho and i tried avoiding everything by saying "I don't know" or "Its not important"

I have to try to open up to people more, I know but im terrified of being left alone or betrayed more than anything because its happened so much.
One thing I can tell you & I think others will agree, it's like you have target written on your head! I urge you to be strong because we understand and many others sadly xx
 
You bring up a good point, my3sons...how to get the target off of your head. It is so hard when it has been there for so much of one's life. I
 
Is this only in this crazy culture in the states? Because I don't know, it seems that things are weird and distorted here in many ways, but I suppose we are not the only ones??????

In 2005 the country with the highest rate of teen suicide was Sri Lanka. The Russian Federation and former Soviet block countries have five times more teen suicides than the US. New Zealand, Canada, Ireland, Austria, Switzerland, and Finland have higher rates than the US.

In most places, males have higher rates than females except in Cuba, China, Grenada, Trinidad, El Salvador. In countries that post data, the fourth leading cause of death in teen males is suicide - but in girls it is the third leading cause of death.

In the US, teen suicides make the news. The media needs a market, and teen suicides, murders - it sells. Focusing on what leads teens to think of suicide should be more important. Being victimized, feeling that no one loves you or will help you, that you have no one to trust/confide in, no place to be safe, no place to escape the anger/hate/danger, feeling helpless and unheard - those are the reasons that people think of suicide as an option.

Leaving a diary out IS a message for help. Getting that help can be from a variety of sources. Your granddaughter needs to be heard, held, loved, listened to, given an opportunity to express her pain, her needs. I hope she grows strong in your love and thus learns to love herself.
 
You bring up a good point, my3sons...how to get the target off of your head. It is so hard when it has been there for so much of one's life. I
That I don't know the answer too, that target is still on my head!

I get treated like a door mat, I really don't know how I have lived this long to be honest! I think God has kept me alive for a reason, as when I overdosed I was in ICU, I sat up looked at my mum & said mum look at the Angels behind you. Obviously I do not remember this, but I went from certain death to making it. You know a brain soul spirit can only take so much!

I urge everyone to hang in there like me! We are special in the sense we can help each other. xox Theresa xoxox
 
I wish one ... just one person in my life ... had cared enough to research PTSD and suicidality.

I guess I am just not worth the time, eh?

Just so y'all know ... I meet much of the criteria on the list of warning signs. But I am going to live a little bit longer. I have a few loose ends to tidy up and maybe by then I will feel better and change my mind. That is how it usually works, at least. Right?

*** this is not a threat. a vent, yes. a threat, no.
 
I was not shocked to see so many on the list applying to me. I did reach out to a loved one, once, baring my soul, recently (right before joining here, actually), and his reaction, though he didn't mean it to be cruel and truly thought he was being supportive, said only "Well, you can either get busy living or get busy dying. It's your choice. My suggestion is that you quit talking nonsense". This was followed by my call to the suicide hotline...that was "temporarily down for restructuring". I just cried/laughed myself to sleep, secure in the knowledge that God must hate me. Thankfully, I am not like that all the time, just on my bad days. I do wish he could be more supportive, though. I am drowning in hopelessness.

It was a good posting.
 
^Yep, usually how it works -- OR an attempt is made, but fails. OR, success is met but you end up shifted into a parallel universe with the same life, but having been thwarted out of non-existence again. I think the later happen to me once. :rolleyes: Try that once, and you'd not try again; it could mess you up, lol.
 
Are there any physical signs to watch out for too regarding health? I know about the talk of suicide, but are there any less visible signs? Loss of appetite, or feeling lethargic and not being able to go to sleep even if you want to?
 
Jen that sounds more like depression to me, but my degrees are in the physical sciences, not psychology.
 
I attempted suicide once....no one ever suspected I was suicidal, or even depressed. Everyone always thought I was "fine". I'm good at pretending to be Ok. Sure, everything is falling apart, but in the end, everything will be peach keen! Someone will want to marry me despite the scars on my arms and legs from all the cutting. They won't care about my panic attacks. I'll have kids that I don't screw up by telling them that their ex "didn't mean it". I'm not a failure at all! All is well. Happy Day!

I am sorry if I wasn't supposed to say any of this. I really hope I don't get banned or a warning or something. I guess I should go to sleep now so I can get up and go to work tomorrow, with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step! Woohoo!
 
Symptoms...all of which I have. I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel of life. Just continual pain and suffering. I am here to suffer for the rest of my life.

All I do is sit here waitin' around to die. My symptoms keep me stuck. All of my efforts to get ahead in life have failed. I am alone. No one understands that I am a mess. They keep thinking in the past 6 months anyway, that I am a bum who doesn't want to do anything in life. They have never walked in my shoes.

My family is the worst part. My abusive mother, whom I have cut contact with, is still pulling strings with the other members of my family in efforts to control and demean me. She went from physical abuse when I was a kid, to emotional blackmail as an adult. Manipulating my girlfriends, befriending my ex's, slandering me to her friends then acting like she/they are doing me favors. Resentments are killer. And I have a lot of anger. I have been betrayed by my mother all of my life. The issues are so complex that no one even gets it.

If there was a painless way to go, I would take it. I don't get why I am on this earth. I don't fit. I am so confused. I can't find any help either. Some of the people would rather take your money for 6 months than to actually help you figure out the cause. I require long term treatment to reload a new operating system for my brain, equipped with people who understand post traumatic stress disorders. They treat depression symtoms but nothing else. Or I could go and get electro shock therapy, but that idea is repulsive. Did it even help anyone? I don't know..
 
Symptoms.. They treat depression symtoms but nothing else. Or I could go and get electro shock therapy, but that idea is repulsive. Did it even help anyone? I don't know..

Symptoms are what we have - the manifestation of those things we experienced, burned into our souls, scars that no physician can yet heal. Not even with ECT. ECT is good for severe, recalcitrant depression - it won't erase the PTSD. If it would, I'd have done it already.

I find that living is like everything else in my OCD-life: I do it out of habit, rather than out of joy.

Long ago I hoped each day would be different, better. That something would happen and I would be absolved. Now I struggle to sleep. And when I do sleep, I don't want to awaken. But I get up and drink coffee and go to work, because it is a habit. I smile to people out of habit. I act pleasant and in control of myself out of habit.

I have seen ECT work on catatonic patients. If your depression is so severe and doesn't respond to meds you could consider it - but it won't cure your PTSD,

Hope and strength to you.
 
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