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Watching Therapy Session From Across The Room

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canucklady

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This is going to sound crazy I know. But lately in my sessions, it is like I am watching myself talking to psychiatrist from across the room. I can see myself talking to her and hear her talking to me, yet I am observing from across the room. It is very hard to explain. Yet sometimes I don't hear what T is saying to me, I just see myself sitting there. It is like I am observing someone else in therapy. Does this make any sense to anyone? This type of thing has happened before, but only when I was really scared with ex-boyfriend and I called it "floating away", but not sure why it is happening in therapy now. I told my therapist what was happening and she said it is my soul that was traumatized. The logical part of me is saying, what on earth is she talking about? Yet that sort of makes sense. Does this make any sense to anyone?
 
I do something kinda of like that. I do a lot of imaging things. What my life would be like if I didn't have PTSD, how strong I would be.Or just happy things. Like a child and imaginary friends. There's almost always music involved ( real music, Ipod) . ..Sometimes I do what you are talking about with everyday things. Like someone is talking to me, and I start see me though there eyes. And criticizing myself.

I would also wander off during therpy ( and EMDR) , and think about almost anything else but that.

I don't know what this is. And I've been doing in for about 13 years, long before I had PTSD.
 
This is a common symptom, a type of dissociation called depersonalization. There is good info here on the forum about it, as well on other sites if you do a search for those terms.

This is not weird at all. It's a reaction to fear or overwhelming feeling. It's a method of self-protection, and many of us do it at one time or another. Even non-PTSD folks do it, usually when confronted by a stressor like an accident, a life change, etc.
 
That is what my T mentioned depersonalization or derealization, forget which one. But this usually happens when am scared and did happen for sure when was traumatized. But not sure why it is happening now with T. I feel safe with her and just want to get on with the process, but a part of me is holding me back. It is very frustrating.
 
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