We Both Have Ptsd

[Reclusive]

Oh, I do the same thing in the middle of the night. I wake up two or three times and need a snack from the kitchen. I think it's really that I need a change of environment and a snack is an easy excuse to do that. And it's a little comfort eating, which helps me get back to sleep. I need to curb it, though, so I'm trying to buy very small individual snacks so I don't eat the entire refrigerator. When I have nightmares it's really bad. I'll get up and make a whole dinner and eat it because I can't bear the idea of staying in the bedroom. And the internet is pretty slow at 4am.

 

[Abbi]

Both having the same therapist that does individual and couples...you sure that is a good idea. I mean he is obviously dependent on you even for self care of feeding. So "who's" best interest does the T look after? There may come a time you need to hear the best thing for you is to leave, if that is not the best thing for him what does the T tell you vs. telling him. I see possible conflicts in the future. If you wait till it is a conflict then T gets worried and drops you both.

Have to say I see Bec's point - if he loses 50 pounds and wont feed himself, he may need to be in the hospital at that point. It is not what you want for him, but it might be best for him. Remember you are a wonderful person and have insight, but you are his significant other, not his Caretaker/doctor/NOR FIXER!

Otherwise, I think your anger is not inappropriate, its a bum deal. Allow yourself to feel what you feel.
Take care of yourself and not just everyone else.

 

[Reclusive]

I know sharing a t sounds really weird, but it's working better than having separate ts ever has. When we have separate ts, they don't seem to understand that we BOTH have PTSD. So they'll say things like he should be taking better care of me, he needs to be there for me all the time, he should get off his booty and get a job already, why is he such a slob, etc, etc. And my counseling sessions end up being me trying to explain that he has PTSD too and that he's not a bad guy, just a guy with problems.

I'm a little scared, though. Every t I've had says I should leave him because he doesn't do enough. And I'm starting to think my current t, that we share, is leaning that way, too. He's had PTSD since he was little, but was diagnosed bipolar instead, so the treatments he's been on have done him a lot of harm.

I'm so frustrated. I feel like I'm making excuses, but it really does seem to be working for both of us - it's what I was really hoping for.

On a high note, he's starting to gain weight again and I'm not reminding him to eat - he's remembering to tell me and actually getting his own food on occasion! So, forward progress!