What Does Dissociation Look/feel Like To You?

[Deleted member 32956]

I'm new to being aware of my issues and haven't delved deep into things with my provider as of yet. I'm trying to get a jump on things and I've been learning a lot about my past and how it has affected me. I feel like I've been posting more than others, but I promise it's just because I'm trying to gain an understanding on things. I've been wondering, what does dissociation look like and feel like to all of you? If you could explain it in a few sentences, what would you say? I'm terrible at explaining things, but I mainly just want to know what you all think and feel about dissociation. Everything about it. What you all have experienced. What happens etc.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Different each time. It depends on how 'deep' I go. Sometimes I can function a bit and sometimes Im just gone.

 

[watundah]

Most common : a glazing over and a disconnect, staring off and not present. Aware of my surroundings but not participating. Physical sensations off as I am not in my body.
Worst case : one time in therapy I completely dissociated where I lost time and was not conscious of any thing. Completely gone. I wonder if that was more common to me as a child?

 

[Tinyflame]

Reasonbly rare for me (I think?) but losing time, not remembering, getting lost. I don't know if it's stress overload though, & I have a high pain tolerance & often don't notice hunger etc, so not sure if it's just that sort of thing.

I would describe it more t times as 'going away' than drifting off. A pleasant safe 'separate-ness', at those moments. Like extreme emotional detachment. Not when lost though. That for me is terrifying.

Also momentarily disoriented to time, place or person. And sometimes things look 'different', not sure how to explain? Actually, the first part is exactly like a FB, come to think of it, without the 're-living'. Sometimes I can recognize voices more than faces.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I would describe it more t times as 'going away' than drifting off. A pleasant safe 'separate-ness', at those moments. Like extreme emotional detachment. Not when lost though. That for me is terrifying.

I agree on both. I usually go away, lost in my mind and my world, not there, safe. The times where I didnt remember how i got from point A to point B scared the hell out of me. Was only twice but still.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes @lostforgottensoul everyone has it happen to some degree, it's a continuum. I quite frequently can't remember how I got from A to B, but my thoughts are elsewhere. For me I find dissociation (if that is what it is) is more associated with the safety/ emotionally & mentally leaving part. It makes it like whatever is happening doesn't really matter.

Tbh I don't think it's my biggest problem, I'm too aware of experiencing feelings/ pain than removed from them. But, I have got lost 3 times lately, even at work.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

associated with the safety/ emotionally & mentally leaving.

Mine is as well. I think what triggers mine is an intense feeling of fear and not being safe and intense emotions im not ready for. I think anyway.

 

[Deleted member 32956]

For me I find dissociation (if that is what it is) is more associated with the safety/ emotionally & mentally leaving part
Can you explain this part? safety/emotionally and mentally leaving part?

 

[Deleted member 32956]

How does it affect your personal relationships at work, with friends and family, and lovers? During face to face communication and through text?

 

[Nevermore]

Dissociation has always been a big part of my life, long before I knew what it was. My first really bad episode was when I was 16 - I went to school and couldn't remember anyone's names. It was actually terrifying. I knew something was really wrong. And I couldn't shake myself out of it, it just gradually lifted of its own accord
I kind of always dead that happening - that I will just vacate my body and my life and hurt or scare someone close to me.
Though, to be honest, its an indicator to md that I don't really trust that person. It's really rare for me to trust and feel totally accepted by another, but with the rare few that's happened with I never do dissociate with them.
Tells me something!

 

[trying2movefwd]

It varies for me as well. . . Most recently while in group counseling during PHP Someone brought up something that triggered me. I felt myself outside my body and sitting next to myself. Like there were two of me or something. Othertimes I zone out unaware of anything miminutes or hours may go by without my noticing. Also not sure if this next point is dissociating or not, but after particularly troublesome flashbacks my maturity level seems to express the age I was at that time...until I am really back, grounded, and mindful!. I feel like a crazy freak answering this right now, but it's me being brutally transparent with a group of strangers. Okay do you relate to any of this and I am asking anyone.

 

[Nevermore]

Ugh! Yes @trying2movefwd
I do relate! Scared and disapproved of Child who has no voice. Feels like nobody wants me there anyway so I should disappear because I don't want to be there either.
The feelings are pretty horrible actually