What Does It Mean When There’s No Reply... ?

[Changing4Best]

What does it mean when you write a heartfelt apology to someone, and there is no reply? Weeks go by, still no reply. Then the person starts putting nasty notices up on facebook, that seem to sort of say that they are mad at someone, no longer respect someone, etc. but never (of course) do they say who.

What does it mean when you invite someone somewhere (a different person), first by voicemail, then in a note, and there is no reply. Also they don't answer their door or their phone.

I'm baffled by all this. If someone does not want to go somewhere with me, or accept my apology, why give me the "silent treatment." Why not just let me have it or something? Get it over with! You know what I mean?

I would rather get told off than go through this.

What do you do when stuff like this happens? How do you handle it?? Or do you handle it at all???

 

[blackemerald1]

when you write a heartfelt apology to someone, and there is no reply? Weeks go by, still no reply.

Have they definitely received it? That's my first concern. If you are completely certain they have it's possible they will not accept your apology and I suppose that is their prerogative. They have to live with that decision. That means you have to deal with that too and move forward knowing that you said sorry.

Then the person starts putting nasty notices up on facebook, that seem to sort of say that they are mad at someone, no longer respect someone,

Idk about this... could you be overly concerned and reading something where it really isn't? I don't do fb but if that is the way they are posting on their page... I'd block them and not go looking at them anymore. If they are being nasty leave them to it, life's too short.

when you invite someone somewhere (a different person), first by voicemail, then in a note, and there is no reply. Also they don't answer their door or their phone.

Maybe they have a reason why they haven't got back to you (can you think of anything?) Lost their phone, out of town etc., Sometimes major life events mean ppl get too distracted to deal with social activities. Can you approach the person and actually speak to them? Are they at home or does it just look like it? Have you actually seen them?

If they are definitely ignoring you then they are gutless and rude.

I'm baffled by all this.

If everything is definitely as you described and no alternative reasonable explanation is probable then I would be too. People constantly baffle me though. And they are supposed to be normals.

If someone does not want to go somewhere with me, or accept my apology, why give me the "silent treatment."

Passive aggressive behaviour. Lots of ppl do it. They think they are striking home a point or something... go figure... they're just being very ignorant.

What do you do when stuff like this happens? How do you handle it?? Or do you handle it at all?

I don't handle it well/ Takes a while for it to dawn on me that it is really happening. Usually I think it my misconception of what is happening.. I don't know I must be a bit thick or something. But once I know for sure...I'm offended. Then I'm sad, followed closely by disappointment. And somewhere in there I belt myself up for not noticing sooner and thinking all sorts of bad things about why they should be giving me the silent treatment. All wrong of course.. Nothing justifies silly silent treatment. It's juvenile. But it takes a while to get to that. Eventually, I move on. lol...

Someone said to me recently when I expressed disappointment about behaviour of other's ... 'lower your expectations'. So that's what I do.

I wish I could skip to the moving on without the preliminary stuff. Tbh it doesn't happen often. Every blue moon. It's a rotten way to treat another person and I'm sorry two people may be behaving this way towards you. :hug:

 

[Changing4Best]

Thanks for your thoughts. I put one of them on ignore on Facebook and found the other one in the hallway just now, chatting with one of my other neighbors. So I chatted for awhile too, like nothing was happening out of the ordinary and she invited me in and we just talked for awhile and it looks like she simply may have forgotten. Also, her husband lives in a nursing home and he had fallen, not injured himself but still that is cause for concern, so it may be that this distracted her from my invitation. Anyway, all seems well with her, thank goodness! One out of two ain't so bad! I can live with that.

 

[Fadeaway]

When I am struggling you can forget about me checking messages. On a good day I wish I lived in a country where it was considered rude to show up at someone's door unannounced. On a bad day someone at my door can send me into panic and freeze mode. It isn't personal against anyone. I don't understand this culture of instant replies that cellphones brought about, but I hate it.