What Happens When I Can't Sleep

[Ramsey]

There's a lot going on in my head right now, but this seems like the most fitting forum to post in. Had a few triggers over the past month or so. Haven't been sleeping well, I'll try, take pills and valerian root and melatonin. But I can't do it, not for long. I'll have a day off and try to catch up on sleep then, and I end up waking every hour or two no matter how long I have to do it.

It's bad, I think, right now. I feel like I'm drunk, or stoned, all the time. I keep missing spots in my memory, and I've been getting testy and a little paranoid. I don't want to be bitter, or angry. But I am, and mostly angry. This impotent anger because there is nothing that I can do. The longer I go with bad sleep the worse it gets.

I don't mean there's nothing I can do, I'm seeing my therapist next week and I'm posting here and in the AA forum I go to (though they don't know anything about this whole thing, they are two separate worlds right now). I mean I can't do the things I want to do. I am impotent in that I can't take this person that did all these things for so long, and make them hurt. I know this is unhealthy and this is something I'm going to speak with my therapist about. It's not something I've verbalized before so I don't know what to expect, healing-wise, from this place I'm finding myself in. But for right now, all my muscles are tense and there is a boulder in my skull and while the knife that's usually digging into my gut isn't there, that pain has turned into a real lust for something terrible.

I'll be okay. I just need to get through this.

 

[Rob_Dog19]

I know how you feel :( it may behoove you to talk to your T about getting a prescription for something stonger just for emergencies. I have one that i take only after 4 days of not sleeping, the system works really well for me

 

[Ramsey]

I'll definitely be talking to her about it.

Still awake. Not angry anymore, not really anything, but still can't sleep.

 

[Froggie]

Hi Ramsey, I know what you're going through. It's like a vicious circle : triggers creates stress creates sleep disturbances creates becoming vulnerable to any trigger ... etc. I'm having sleeping problems due to stress issues, will be going to see my pharmacist for something, need to recover physically. Best of luck to you.

 

[Ramsey]

Slept three hours, woken up by dogs barking, now can't get back to sleep and I have to work eight hours today. At least I'm off tomorrow.

 

[Rob_Dog19]

I'm sorry :( Do you like energy drinks? I know they're not the greatest for you, but if you need to survive the day...I rely on monsters when I go on less than 2 hours of sleep...which is far too often :p
((((Ramsey))))

 

[Ramsey]

I'm considering buying something like that on the way to work; I don't normally drink that stuff, my heart reacts badly to it. It's also why I don't like using actual sleeping pills, opting for valerian root and melatonin, and am actually kind of afraid to ask for prescription strength stuff, because both high amounts of caffeine and whatever is in sleeping pills makes my heart go haywire. But I work until ten PM tonight so I'm probably going to need something.

 

[drgnfl2078]

I like benedryl when I can't sleep. Maybe I shouldn't use it for that but it works pretty well...or like a tylenol pm. I'm almost always sore too so it helps to relax the stiff muscles

 

[Ramsey]

I use that stuff sometimes too, right now I've been trying to take half a dose of Kroger brand antihistamine stuff that makes you drowsy. The problem is that even these things, the antihistamines and the Tylenol PM and Midol PM and all that, they all make me feel like my heart is going to stop. I take low doses when I get desperate for sleep but it always scares me and it doesn't always make me sleep.

Do prescription sleeping pills use different ingredients? If there's a pill out there that doesn't f*ck with my heart but can put me to sleep, I would be all over that.

 

[broken_one]

I take Klonopin at night for anxiety because my mind won't shut up. So much noise. I also cannot sleep unless the TV is on. I try to really concentrate on whatever is on (usually Nick at Night because it's "safe"). I've learned that my body will sleep when it needs it, when I get tired enough. I don't drink caffeine, I occasionally drink Powerade or something similar rather than sodas to try to restore what's missing.

I don't think I've slept in like over 3 years, not like a "normal" person. Sometimes I just lay in bed, at least my body is "at rest' and that helps too, even if you aren't asleep.

Benedryl hypes me up. I've tried some of that PM stuff too, but it no longer works, my mind just works overtime every night.

Best of luck to you. There are foods that are supposed to help you sleep. I try something simple like warm milk sometimes.

Sweet dreams,
Broken

 

[Rob_Dog19]

I have a heart murmur, so I know what you mean when you say the stuck f*cks with your heart, I have a prescription for xanax that doesn't affect my heart that way...it actually slows the heartrate down since it is an anti-anxiety with sedating properties...I wish I could give you an easy answer though!! :/ I'm very sorry you're having such troubles with sleep

 

[OKRADLAK]

Hi Ramsey.....this one is hard for me, too. Last two months have been that way. So bad I had to go to ER and they were going to put a drip in me.

I used Benedryl and melatonin and all that stuff, too. Then I mixed them with Nyquil and that helped. Then I had to drink which sucks........just a bit, like 1/2 a beer with all the other stuff.

I turn off all the lights at 6 pm and let the natural dimming of the sun trigger my melatonon. That helps. And relaxing techniques.

I will sleep tonight!!! SO will you!!! Oh, I hope you can. It was so bad I was REMing while still awake, like visions. It was so scary.