What Have You Done For Your Supporter/s Lately.

[ms spock]

Hello Everyone,

I was wondering what people do to thank those who are their supporter/s.

How do you illustrate your gratitude for those that stand by you or assist you at times?

What are the shapes and forms that you show your gratitude to those kind people that are your supporter/s?

 

[ms spock]

I sent B a card a couple of days ago.

Today I thanked him for listening to my little fears today. I acknowledged all the little things he has done for me. I thanked him for his company and companionship.

 

[keifer]

When they see you alive! Part of me struggles with putting a bullet in my head. If I was on the other side, I'd be happy for every day we spending doing something together.

 

[ms spock]

Staying alive is definitely a big thankyou.

 

[Bedbug]

When I was really depressed I didn't even notice what my husband was doing for me. I was dead inside. I didn't care, I didn't feel. I detached from him, the one person I truly care about, and took no comfort from anything he said or did. It just didn't matter. Nothing did.

This has changed now. I don't feel so depressed anymore. I am not filled with despair or hopelessness. I feel more like something inside me is broken and I want to find it and fix it. I am hopeful. And I feel close to my husband again. I can hold his hand and take comfort from him.

I still find it hard to thank him for everything he is doing for me. It's not because I am not grateful, but because it reminds me of what a mess I am right now. However, I am making a point of holding his hand and telling him I love him every day. I think he is glad to have this connection back at least. I am looking forward to the day I can give him more.

 

[arfie]

I keep this one on my daily inventory, more for myself than anyone. It keeps me from folding in on myself to remember that I impact the world around me constantly, for both better and for worse. I feel much stronger when I look for little ways to keep my impacts for the better. When my worst gets the underhand... As it does at times... Making amends as soon as possible helps prevent those guilt blockages and an attitude of gratitude helps make the world look less threatening.

Yesterday's amends were arranging grandparent time for my husband (my primary supporter) after scenes between my eldest son and I prevented him from getting time with his grandson after he got off work the day before. Younger son and his wife fled the scene for the safety of their child... Yesterday was an especially nourishing lunch.

 

[saoirserylyn]

Lately, I have been pretty rotten to Cameron. He tries to help and even apologizes for things that he hasn't done wrong (all because I've gotten upset). Seeing this post just reminded me that I owe him a huge heart felt thank you text today.

Sometimes it feels like I'm asking too much of him (especially when I'm panicking and keeping him up all hours of the night because I have some irrational fear that he's doing something wrong towards me), then I wake up in the morning and realize he's still in my life and I am so thankful for that. Although there are still mornings that I wake up freaking out thinking I somehow did something in my sleep to scare him off. Argh.

Anyway, yes a lovely message will do today.

 

[rightkindofme]

I thank my husband a lot. I blog about him all the time. I specifically notice what he does and I call out the long list of "doesn't have to but is just nice for doing _____".

Err, and I have more sex with him than I would strictly speaking prefer to have at this stage of life. I'm hoping my sex drive returns one of these days.

 

[Echo]

I thank my supporters constantly. I think it stems from not feeling worthy at all. It borders on apology to be honest. I am just not good at all at taking complements or being helped in any way. I don't even know how to ask really.

But I have been intensely moved by those who have stuck with me. I don't have a partner - the man I was involved with ran away, and only one of my sisters (x3) knows the whole story about what has happened to me. She is brilliant and has been deeply upset herself as the memories of child abuse have emerged - it has rewritten her childhood, too. But she has never faltered in her support and has never doubted my word. Several of my best friends, or so I thought, have distanced themselves once they heard I was ill - didn't even wait around to hear what I was experiencing. One of my sisters was the same. Her words, "you're on your own." I suspect, though she doesn't yet know about the child abuse from my father, that it might surface in her, so maybe she unconsciously sees me as a threat. So those friends who have stayed are worth their weight in gold to me and I know I would not be here without them. If you, unlike me, have someone to help you with your daily chores, you are so lucky. Nothing happens if I don't do it!

I held a small pre-Christmas party to invite a few friends and the sister who have kept me alive. They helped me make it happen and most of them had not met each other. I found it so lovely and probably got more out of it even than them, though they all said what a lovely occasion it was. It was my way of saying thank you, though I was completely unable to voice it on the day. I would have melted down and made everyone miserable!

I still do try to be there for my friends, though it is much harder. Maybe with family it is easier to take them for granted.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

I try to thank my husband as much as possible, even for seemingly little things he does. I am learning to be more mindful about my moods and how I treat others, especially him. When I can handle it, I try to show affection by spontaneously giving him a hug or kiss. Even when I'm at my worst, I try to tolerate it when he wants to hug or kiss me and, like @rightkindofme, I have sex with him if I can tolerate it, even when that's the last thing I want to do. I feel like it's not his fault I am the way I am so I try to be "normal" as much as I can. Frankly, sometimes I'm surprised he's even still here with me. I am trying to squirrel away a little bit of cash here and there to buy him a new wedding ring as a surprise on our anniversary in May.

I have a few close friends. They are very outgoing and talkative which is perfect for me since I'm not a talkative person. I do a lot of listening, mostly, but I try to be a supportive friend any way I can. They are very patient with me and even deal well with my "quirks" like not walking behind me and knowing where I need to sit in a public place (back against a wall in view of doors). I am working very hard in therapy to try to reduce my hypervigilance. I try to thank them anytime I can and let them know how grateful I am for their friendship and support.

@Ms Spock, great topic. Thanks for starting this thread.

 

[cherryblossom]

I don't really have any supporters, so I just give myself an imaginary pat on the back every now and then, to remind myself that despite it all, I'm still surviving and thriving.

 

[The Albatross]

I really need to do something again. He's gone above and beyond lately. Something I do for my supporter is absolutely do not nag or kvetch (complain) about his hunting time each season. I do my utmost to be self sufficient and not dependent so he can go guilt free whenever he wants most always (mother or mother-in-law or part time job issues not withstanding).