What I Hate The Most About Ptsd

[Red Feather]

I hate that it makes me so unsure of myself that I need to get advice from at least ten different people in order to make a decision.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Same here Nadia. :rolleyes:

 

[Mary Burgess]

I am there, too, Nadia...my delayed emotional development (physical abuse as a kid) makes me at least 10 years behind what it should be, and it is hard for me to know which end is up, sometimes...

 

[woundedsoul]

Junebug, Thank you for so coherently writing about what you hate about PTSD. I can relate entirely to all of the following: burdensome, copmplicating my life, intrusive thoughts, inability not to be reminded of traumas, exhaustion, depleted, mentally, physically and emotionally, over-feeling, over-experiencing, past re-living, unexpectedness of triggers, being knocked flat, feeling like I'm in prison, lack of safety, painfulness.

I could not have put that all together myself, but you did, and I thank you so very much for describing how I feel almost everyday. The good days when I don't feel one or all of those things are few and far between. I am fighting PTSD now, but I have to say, do I just learn to live this way for the rest of my life? I suppose that is a very very negative, self-defeating way to think of it and one shouldn't think to far into the future with PTSD. We have to reduce our perspective to one day at a time I think, to survive this. Some days I find it even difficult to praise my self, to deeply acknowledge the progress I've made because when the wave as above mentioned symptoms hits, it feels like I've made no progress at all.

Thank you so much for so eloquently describing PTSD. I hope and pray we all see better days. Please take care of YOU!

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh Dear WS, (((Hugs))).

Yes I think one day at a time, and doing each day something even small to reduce stress and surround ourselves with what helps, to learn to be true to recognizing what we need, accepting it, and apllying it without guilt.
To try to learn we're not a burden.

You are making progress! But yes, I too usually feel like I haven't made any.

But (and) you help so many people here with your words, kindness, understanding. :)

 

[Tinyflame]

(I always thought your name was so correct, so reflective. Wounds do heal, under conditions that allow for it).

(((Hugs))), :inlove:

 

[jenny72]

Tired of the back/neck pain and just tired.....

 

[ColoradoSkye]

I hate that I constantly question my judgement and subsequently end up alone

 

[woundedsoul]

Oh Dear WS, (((Hugs))).

To try to learn we're not a burden.

You are making progress! But yes, I too usually feel like I haven't made any.

But (and) you help so many people here with your words, kindness, understanding. :)

((Junebug)) I'm so sorry you feel like you haven't made any progress. Do you know why you feel that way? Could you please explain?

I am constantly feeling like I take one step forward, two steps back. When the PTSD symptoms hit, it feels like a tsunami hit me and it takes days for me to get my bearings/strength back and to regain a sense of safety and security. It's awful. That is when I start thinking I will never get over PTSD.

I suppose a great deal of recovery, in my mind anyway, is basically knowing we have absolutely been changed by PTSD, and that we will never be the same as we once were. A grieving process is a necessary part of healing I think for that lost self.

We need to live differently now, after going through the mourning process, trying to accept that we will never be the same and yet we can still live a complete life, I mean afterall, look at what we all survived. Not unscathed, not unscarred, but we survived something horrific. I think it's important to remember that and be very very proud of ourselves.

None of us asked to have PTSD, We do all have an illness. We have to cultivate self-compassion, I think, and work very diligently on being kind to ourselves during those terrible, difficult, feels like this is never going to end times. I think it is important, that we accept the change, mourn the formerly lost self and rebuild a new self and then come to acceptance of that different self and yet still know we can live life well, even within the limitations of disability. It's the self-loathing for having this illness/disability that I hate so much. But so often the emotion wins over the logical in PTSD, at least for me. Afterall would we hate ourselves if we had cancer?

You are so sweet to say what you did about me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. The abuse I suffered took away every last vestige of self-esteem I had. It very nearly destroyed me. I am trying to rebuild my life....but it's very difficult with the PTSD monster.

I'm sorry if all of this does not make sense, I am taking medicine and it makes my brain a bit foggy.

 

[Mary Burgess]

Yeah, Wounded, self compassion is so important! It is hard to forgive myself sometimes after an outburst, and just knowing I have this illness helps me to be more responsible about it (counseling, thinking twice before speaking when angry. I also like what you said about the grief work involved, too. Thank you!

 

[Stephanieg]

The pain My Uncle Louie put me through,raped me when I was 12 years old 4 times.I am getting better day by day and on the medication for the ptsd I am taking.I have a life that I enjoy I am getting back.

 

[Ice_Fire]

That even when life is going well, I still remember and I still feel crap and then feel guilty for being down.