What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[Calm in the chaos]

A hospital social worker can usually sort out most, if not all, legal paperwork for you.

I’ll start with them, thank you

 

[helbredelse]

I hate when I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster like today. The days like today when I feel so much hate towards my ex fiance but I also know it's part of the grieving and healing process and that the anger is masking grief, like a lifetime of grief. Thoughts that pop up like if I didn't have my kids, I would kill him and then myself because I'm so sick and tired of this! "This" being having to deal with a lifetime of trauma from abuse because he was "bored" or whatever. The why doesn't even matter. I hate that I placed so much trust in him only to realize he's pretty much text book sociopath who played me for ten years. That it was all likely a big lie. I keep trying to remind myself that I have so much to live for now. That he is no longer part of any of this. He does not exist in my world anymore and never will again. I need to keep going for my kids. For the little girl I was that had been abused since she can remember. For the teenager I was that had gone from abusive relationship to abusive relationship wondering why it kept happening. For the young mom I was who was just trying to survive for her kids. For the person I am becoming. Who I think I'm meant to be, if that makes any sense. That everything I've been through would all have been for naught if I give up now. I need to keep going for that life I've always wanted because it's so very close now. My relationship with my kids has never been better. I'm moving into my own place soon where we can start over. And I can heal. I am healing. I need to refocus on my future and not my past so much but it's so very hard some days. Trying to redirect my thoughts can be a real challenge some days.

 

[Friday]

Mom : How do you get your towels so WHITE?
Moi : I don’t buy white towels. I buy creamy/ivory towels, and then use bleach when I wash them. Takes a few washes, but then they stay this color for decades.
Mom : That’s ridiculous. If you buy a white towel, it should stay white.
Moi : Okay. Sure. But that’s not what happens.

I’ll save you the ongoing rant/diatribe, because the above pretty much sums it up.

My mom is a very “should” person, and will spend 40 years pissed off about how things “should” be, but aren’t.

I’m a very practical solutions person. If I want A, and need to do B to get A? B it is!!!

I’m not as good about smiling & nodding, when these fundamental difference between us crop up, as I should be.

 

[Miyu38]

I can't really function when I allergies. I don't get them all the time or even once a year but they do come up during spring every once in a while.
Everytime I get them which it's not even bad allergies just sneezing every now and then but my body gets so tired.

Go to work and be nodding off while working and just can't keep eyes open. If I'm not working all I do is sleep and can't get out of bed. It's not the medicine since I don't take any. It's just seem weird to have this reaction.

 

[No More]

Why, no matter how much chocolate I eat, do I want more

 

[Lionheart]

My Native American spirit guides, guardians, and totem animals. Blessings.

 

[ShawnaB]

Getting a call from my friend Mika from Germany.Met her while I was stationed in Germany and have kept in touch.She is a great friend,loves it when I tell her she sounds like Heidi Klum

 

[Sideways]

Humans and their ridiculous habit of tail-docking dogs. Leaving aside that it’s the end of their spine that’s being lopped off, it’s one of their bestest features. Why (why???) would you deny yourself the persistent joy of a wagging tail?

Humans make no sense.

 

[Friday]

Getting a call from my friend Mika from Germany.Met her while I was stationed in Germany and have kept in touch.She is a great friend,loves it when I tell her she sounds like Heidi Klum

Where at? USMC is eyeballs deep in Norway, & the North Sea via Britain, but rarely in Germany, unless recovering in hospital.

TBH, you sound like you’re Army, and obsfucating as a jarhead. No idea why, but everything you post sounds right on par for a tooootally different branch of service. Or just doing the stolen valor thing. One or the other. Your details? Are f*cked. With no explination, like anyone who knows what’s rare & what isn’t, would auto-tag why. As they’d already been asked 10,000 times by everyone else. IRL. Yes. There are marines in the DEU. But they’re rare. Embassy, Solingen, etc. Everyone I’ve served with posted somewhere wacky as f*ck? Qualifies why the hell they were there. You don’t. Which makes my BULLSHIT alarm? Wake the damn neighbourhood.

So WTFO?

 

[ShawnaB]

Where at? USMC is eyeballs deep in Norway, & the North Sea via Britain, but rarely in Germany, unless recovering in hospital.

TBH, you sound like you’re Army, and obsfucating as a jarhead. No idea why, but everything you post sounds right on par for a tooootally different branch of service. Or just doing the stolen valor thing. One or the other. Your details? Are f*cked. With no explination, like anyone who knows what’s rare & what isn’t, would auto-tag why. As they’d already been asked 10,000 times by everyone else. IRL. Yes. There are marines in the DEU. But they’re rare. Embassy, Solingen, etc. Everyone I’ve served with posted somewhere wacky as f*ck? Qualifies why the hell they were there. You don’t. Which makes my BULLSHIT alarm? Wake the damn neighbourhood.

So WTFO?

United States Marine Corps

 

[Freddyt]

How much I have learned here about living with PTSD is really helping my everyday. The learning, the application, the odd application of boot to ass when I'm whiny and self absorbed. (thanks for that too...)

Where after a day like yesterday I would have lived in the dark, full of ibuprofin until my guts said no more hoping to pass out until tomorrow - today I'm watching F1 Monacco, a bit of Indy 500, and hopefully a good chunk of the Coca-Cola 600 tonight, while shopping for a laptop.

No change in the state of PTSD, my tinnitus is singing just as loud, just how well I can deal with it.....

 

[Tinyflame]

The truth always reveals itself from the lies. Trust is dumb, foolish and hurtful.