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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

Trying to figure out how to get it through to my sponsor not everyone needs to be around people all the time. I'm an introvert and even more so without the alcohol. Being alone most of the time has been healing. People caused my trauma so I have a few trust issues etc. You can't force socializing on someone with trauma. :rolleyes:
 
A lot of information and suggestions, nuances maybe (?), have been filtering in to me recently. Things I already know, but have forgotten or left along side the path. The idea that if you don't bring forth what you have within yourself, it will destroy you. I read that so long ago in a Stephen King novel. I believe the concept comes from a book of prayers from a saint or something; it's been a while. I heard Oprah say yesterday that people who come into your life tell you what you already know which I've heard time and again. It's all inside already, but sometimes it takes a person, an experience, etc... to bring it into consciousness. I also listened to a podcast this morning which was bringing together all of the ideas/principles that have been filtering in.

I am thinking in this moment, that I want to remember this, be open to this, and heal through this, especially the mindfulness/heartfulness/compassion piece and all that it entails. This links into all that I have studied over the years and includes bits and pieces from so many teachers that I've been exposed to, including my ex-partner. So many. Thinking I'd like to pull all of this together to save myself. I'm trying to reconnect with myself.
 
Evil child awaking while having an argument! Look look Don’t you f*** with me I am the greatest of them all. Dignity, maturity, wisdom?
Let’s play games instead.. Trauma puzzles to solve
 
Reassure this: A battle dealt with= Learning right? I am learning? No this sh** ain’t just for nothing..
It’s done and I come out of it with another lesson learned. Who warns me when the real battle is about to come? Am I saving my energy for the real sh**? Who says it’s worth fighting for? Trust thy self? Who? Trust the evil child, Trust Daria
 
I can't shake the conversation I had yesterday with a former beloved co-worker. I learned he has stage 4 leukemia and lymphoma.

My heart feels so heavy, but at the same time it feels full of loving joy that we were able to share some more time, memories, tears, laughs, feelings about how we perceive the other and how our lives were so positively affected by the others presence in it, and many huge hugs, even if it was in the middle of a grocery store.

His physical presence is going to be sorely missed by so many whenever he departs this existence. So grateful for having crossed paths and for being reminded each and every time we see each other of how much love can actually inhabit a human.
 

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