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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

I’ve lost my capacity to think logically, I’m irrational, I’ve done silly things today like putting my facecream in the fridge or forgetting things that I wanted to buy in the supermarket or gettin in the wrong bus. This is not acceptable.. I used to be very good in focusing, now emotional drama and baaaaaammmm I’m like an complete idiot ofcourse I know where it comes from but I just can accept that.. arghhhhh
 
It’s easier (Ofcourse I’m fooling myself ) To cut out that very need for recognition. I don’t want them and I need them as well. I don’t want and I want the —- I am enough for myself and others shouldn’t matter— I’m never escaping the trap I’m always running in circles, I’m always thinking that the need to want other people is weakness even here on this forum it’s hard for me to stay connected, I dislike the word vulnerability and I do not understand. Call me stupid that’s ok!!! Abandonment and it’s impact comes in waves and yes understanding and the feel are two worlds. I just can’t.. No not attention seeking or anything else..
 
I wish I would have had my PT stop with the dry needling and electrical stimulation. The cupping and "scraping" went too far. I'm not feeling well, at all. My stomach. Ugh.

Now it's time to go back to Muppets Christmas Carol/Carole??? At least if I can't feel well, I can be reminded that "wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas." Kermit is the best.
 
'Tis the season of an even heavier heart more often than not as I take in and observe the status quo. One thing remains the same. Hellidays are even more hellish for those who don't have a voice.

The ongoing "reproductive manipulation" of other species, if done to humans, would be considered a tragedy/illegal/inhumane/rape/etc.

However, having it done in "controlled" situations daily to cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, lambs, etc., etc. to appease humanities deeply programmed fork preferences/traditional taste addictions is considered "normal" and expected.

Digesting those types of against-their-will charged energies can't be healthy, especially in large ongoing doses. My meat coated skeleton and my nervous system remain good examples of the potential detrimental affects. I continue to apologize to them on behalf of the human race, including myself.
 
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