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Whatcha doooooooin'?

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@DharmaGirl, I am so very sorry. ( please everyone vax kids for

I’m glad it’s out and hope blood tests indicate minimal treatment, or that treatment is swift.

I am going to take a risk based on user name and hope it is not offensive to you; please know it is well meant and not religiously inclined but of ‘hope that thoughts help’ , I have sung Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung with you in my mind.
 
I just lit the wood burner. I’m listening to my audiobook sitting in an arm chair in a candle lit kitchen. I haven’t felt safe to do this more than once or twice since ptsd. Yet it’s how I used to spend every evening ( well I had music not an audiobook in the past).

I am so relaxed I might dose off :). But have to wait till fire is established properly.
 
@DharmaGirl. Sorry to hear. I had hysterectomy with both removed last year. Hoping for you that after you recover you will be well.

I'm sitting here trying to get my head back on straight. Had a talk with my husband about the symptoms that came back. Hopefully I don't get so out of control like when I had onset. Its too much. We have looked at what things help if this is bipolar in addition to the CPTSD. My other symptoms are under control with meds.
I hate that I'd even had to bring it up to him. I've grown a lot in the past few years and realize I can't be the one who handles it all behind the scenes. "Move along, of course I'm feeling FINE."
 
There was a big bust in the building I live in today, there was a lot of probation officers and such with guns and all bringing evidence out. It is many hours later now, but I am still kind of unsettled in my mind. I don't really know what it all was about, but I know it was serious, because they all had bullet proof vests on. I was waiting outside for a ride after it all must have gone on, so I did not see the "action" itself.

So I am now just trying to relax and keep my mind off it, other than writing this here. I am listening to relaxing music and I just got back from visiting with one of my neighbors who thankfully was not involved.
 
I'm sitting here with my new, dopey, spayed and hooded kitten. My other cat, Riley, hissed at her, at first. I had them separated in different rooms and Riley went crazy when I brought the other cat in. So I'm calling Riley in the living room and she won't budge.

I remember as a kid how, I sometimes felt, jealous of people that had a great family. I couldn't believe a family could laugh and be loved. I had no idea what that was and really didn''t comprehend 'a family" until in was in my 20's..
 
Laying down after some errands with my daughter. Yankee candle is usually a happy place for me but today I'm overwhelmed because there are so many breakable things. I had to push my thumb nail into my finger to help me focus and keep from acting on inappropriate impulsive responses. I hate to have it that my daughter (20) has to watch me. I need supervision. I'm holding back urges the best I can but they are still there. Anxiety is currently taking a vacation. I don't need to eat again. My insomnia is back. Making self care hard.
 
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